As many of you know my wife and I have been at the hospital as her cervix was 2cm dilated at just 24 weeks. On Friday Lili was hit hard by an E Coli infection (found out yesterday) and she had an emergency c section. Our baby boy, Julian Edward, was born first but was overcome by the infection and didn't survive. We are heartbroken but are helped to see joy and light in our baby girl Chloe Emma who is doing well in the NICU. She weighed in at one pound 11oz at 25 weeks. She is a strong fighter like her mom who is close to fighting off her infection in the ICU. It's been a shocking turn of events that have my emotions in turmoil. My solace is spending time with baby Chloe and forgetting everything else for a moment or two. This photo is of my wife's first meeting with Chloe - it took three days for them to be reunited. it was long overdue. They both loved it!
Oh my. I am so so sorry. I am literally typing this with tears in my eyes. I cannot even imagine. Gentle hugs for each of you and prayers for continued healing.
I'm lost for words...
Such an amazing and beautiful picture of a very special moment. So fragile and tiny and SO much love.
My sincere condolences on the loss of your son...
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.
I wish you and your family all the best!
So sorry to hear, Chris. I hope you can handle all the love you're gonna get from little Chloe, though. Positive thoughts your way - I hope your wife is feeling better very soon.
I am so sorry to hear your news Chris! There is no way to understand how you and your wife must be feeling. This is such a tender picture of an amazing moment. I hope you both will find a way to grieve for Julian and enjoy the first steps with Chloe. You are all in my thoughts!
Praying for your family during this mixed time. I don't know what to say, thank you for sharing this deeply personal time with the world. I am so sorry for your loss. May Chloe grow and thrive with each passing day. Take care
I too feel at a loss for words. It's so sad about your son, but so wonderful that Chloe is here and looks strong and that your wife is recovering well. My best wishes and hopes to all of you.
I think @bmnorthernlight put it best. Grief and joy simultaneously are so difficult to balance. And both must be done. I am happy to hear Lili is recuperating and I hope she gets stronger by the minute. I also know having such a tiny infant as you do can be worrisome. May Chloe grow strong next to her mother and father. You will be wonderful parents. My warmest thoughts.
I am so sorry to hear the hell you've been going through. This picture depicts the light & hope on your journey. Stay strong & know my thoughts are with you and your family.
Chris, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'm at a loss for words - so heartbreaking to hear about your son, but great news that Chloe is fighting like a champ. Sending lots of good thoughts to you and your family in this difficult time.
So sorry for the bittersweet pain you must be going through with the lose of little Julian, I am heart broken for both you and Lili. My thoughts and prayers go out for sweet Chloe and that she will fight through all this and hae enough love, energy and strength of both of them. If you need anything do not hesitate to ask.
what a very special moment - like others here I am shedding tears as I type, you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and I hope for all of you that the only news you will have for us from now will be happy
Chris I am so sorry to hear of your loss and relieved to hear that your daughter and wife are pulling through. I can't imagine the tumultuous emotions you're going through. You're all in our hearts and prayers. This photo is so precious.
Chris this is just heartbreaking, I'm so sorry about little Julian. I hope that both little Chloe and your wife are ok. This is a precious shot, really lovely.
my heart literally aches for your sadness and is filled with hope for your baby girl. . .wishing you strength and healing. I'm so sorry for your loss. and I wish great hopes for your future.
So very sorry to read of the loss of your son. I can't imagine the feelings of sadness and happiness that you must be feeling right now. Be strong for your wife, and that precious little girl...
No words...none that can express my sorrow at this news...none that can ease your pain. May your find comfort in each other's love as you navigate your new path.
I cannot imagine the turmoil your heart is experiencing, my prayers go out to you and your family....putting all of that love into Chloe will only make her grow stronger.
Oh gosh.. Chris. Heartbreaking. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. On the other hand, so very glad that mom and Chloe are fighting hard and doing well. What a wonderful, beautiful photo.... Keeping you and your family on my thoughts and prayers...
Oh my Chris. I am so sorry to hear the news of the loss of your baby boy. Please know I am thinking of you and your wife as baby Chloe is cared for and grows stronger. This is a beautiful, priceless photo!
Thought and prayers are with you and your family Chris. My heart sank when I read about your loss of Julian. I know you will give them all the love that you can. Be strong and we are all thinking of you and your family.
I don't follow you but my thoughts & prayers are with you & your wife & lovely daughter, may they go from strength to strength & your lovely family will be home soon. You will never forget Jullian but will remember him with love.
Thinking of you and your family - may each day bring an incremental progress, joy and smile, even during such a difficult and complicated time. You've captured a beautiful moment.
I don't know how to spell the feeling I got when I read this. I just send you all my very wishes and look forward to seeing lots of wonderful photos of this little thing getting stronger and stronger. I know several severely premature babies who are now robust children. Be strong.
Oh, Chris, I was afraid this was what you were dealing with. I'm so very sorry to hear the sad news. I'm glad your daughter survived and I have great hopes that she will get stronger every day. Babies born this early in the States have an excellent prognosis, and I'm hopeful that she is one of them.
Excellent picture; very poignant.
Chris, I was so hoping that this was not the news you were going to share when you posted your photo the other day, but I had a feeling something had happened. There are no words that I can say that will ease your pain at the loss of baby Julian.I love your picture of little Chloe's hand wrapped around your wife's finger. I pray that your family will heal, both physically and emotionally. Give yourself time to grieve, but also be sure to give Lili and Chloe all the love they need now. Take care of yourself, too!
Chris, Others have said it better than I can hope to, and each us feel totally inadequate to express the combination of sorrow and joy that we all know you and your wife are feeling at this time. To have the depths of your sorrow and the hight of your joy so intertwined. I am glad that you chose to share these times with us. Please know that our sincerest sympathy and our heartiest congratulations are with you all.
Chris - We are so sorry for your loss and so happy that Chloe is doing well. Prayers that you find peace and comfort and joy everyday of her life. - Sheila and Paul
My wish and prayers are for you and your family to have the strength to move through this most difficult time....as anonymous and impersonal as this site can be....it also brings many of us closer together as we experience our life journey.
Oh, Chris - I am so sorry - I was away and missed the news. My heart is so full, I hardly know what to say. A picture like this is so very bittersweet; please know that you and Lili are in my thoughts and prayers, that baby Julian will live on in all of our collective memories and that baby Chloe has an incredibly strong community of love and support behind her. Stay strong as you move forward through this.
I cannot even begin to imagine the emotions you're struggling through right now. I'm so happy to see your beautiful new daughter that's just arrived here to meet you, and I'm so heartbroken to hear of the loss of your son. You've got a lot of love coming your way from all of us all over the world, Chris.
Words cannot even express how sorry I am for your loss and can't imagine the emotions you are feeling right now. Positive thoughts coming your direction as your wife heals and your daughter grows stronger. Beautiful capture.
This is a beautiful photo and one that you will cherish forever. I am very sorry for the loss of your son. Words cannot express how you must be feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and I hope you are able to cuddle your little girl soon.
I feel so sorry as I read this! But I really appreciate the way you are sharing this with all of 365 as a family! It all happens for a reason! I am so glad for the baby girl & you both! Giving all positive energy you way!! Take care of them!! This is a lovely click!
What an amazing capture. My thoughts and prayers are with your family during this bitter sweet time. Angel baby Julian will always be there looking out for his sister Chloe.
Oh Chris, gorgeous photo. This photo is very close to home for me with a good friend of mine finally taking her baby home after more than 5 months in NICU and SCU. Such tiny little fighters. Her bub was also born at 25wks and 4 days! He is now 6 months old and a little fighter. So sorry to hear about Julian not making it. Congratulations on the births and I pray that little Chloe comes along in leaps and bounds for you both.
I saw this pic on the sign in page and it brought so many memories flooding back .... thank you so much for sharing this with us, my thoughts and prayers are with your wife and family
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Words cannot express anything right now. I will keep your wife, yourself, and baby Chloe, in my thoughts. Such a beautiful shot.
I am heartbroken for you both. I hope that you have made some equally memorable private photos and moments with Julian. Hang in there Chloe. A beautiful shot.
Congratulations on the birth of babies Chloe and Julian. My heart breaks for you with the loss of Julian. May Chloe's progress be swift and her stay in NICU as short as possible. This is an amazing photo. My thoughts are with you and your wife. It's going to be an amazing and a tough road ahead.
A real emotional roller-coaster, I'm really sorry for you loss, but as the two babies were in the womb together, they shared the first part of their life together, so i'm sure that Chloe will have part of Julian's life within her and will carry on in life for both of them, and for you.
I wish both your wife and your daughter a speedy recovery and all the best for the future.
Oh my word. So sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy. My thoughts are with your wife and little girl. May your baby daughter grow stronger by the day. This is a truly beautiful and touching shot.
I am so sorry, Chris, for your loss of your son. I can't even imagine what you and your wife are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife, and your beautiful baby, Chloe. What a touching photo!
Chris, My heart is so heavy for you and your wife. I am so sorry baby Julian lost his fight. I will be praying for you and your family. Stay Strong Chloe!! Love both the twins names.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Best warm wishes and prayers for the health of Chloe. May she grow healthier and stronger every hour of the day. The photo of her tiny hand holding onto the adult finger is very touching.
I too, am sorry to hear of your loss. At the same time I am happy to hear of your daughter's fight. This is a really precious photo. One that will always be ingrained in your hearts and minds. I am really touched by the strength of Chloe's grip. Yep, she is a fighter.
Very beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing this joyous image during this tumultuous time. My prayers for your daughter and wife's physical healing and for you and your wife's emotional healing.
Congratulations on the birth of your precious babies. I am so sorry Julian could not stay. All my thoughts are with you, your wife and sending strength to baby Chloe. They may be tiny but they are truly amazing and little fighters.
Really beautiful and touching photo.
btw, hate to bother you right now but the Precious Chloe is officially a 365 favorite by being on the sign in page and the popular page. I hope it adds some comfort for you and Lili about how many people are sending you love and strength right now.
This brought me to tears, Chris. The photo is so, so beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. May you continue to find joy in your daughter, even as you mourn your son. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Wow ... that is some story and such a beautiful tender moment in your photo. I am sorry for your loss and happy for your joy. May all continue to progress well with all of you. You are in my prayers.
Such a poignant photo that says so much! Please accept my condolences on the loss of baby Julian. I will keep you, Lili and sweet baby Chloe in my thoughts. May only good befall your family from now on!
Oh my goodness I cannot believe your story, it made me well up. Sending love and best wishes and am so sorry for your loss. This is such a beautiful picture
Saw this wonderful touching photo , and thinking how lucky you are, then read the story......so sorry for your loss and grateful for the life you have been given.
My thoughts are with you all, what an incredibly hard time you're having. Sending hugs, I hope all of these 365 wishes will help even just a little. I'm going to follow so I can keep up with progress, x
Cannot imagine how you manage to get through each day, so many emotions, so far still to travel on the road to full recovery. So sad to hear about Julian.......wishing your wife a speedy recovery to complete health, will pray for Chloe and for your continued strength to make it through each day.
I am very sorry for the loss of your Julian..... Thank you for your courage in sharing your story and for the very precious photo. My best to all of you....
I am so sorry for the loss of your son....sending prayers & and positive thoughts to you and your family for health & happier days to come. This may be the most touching photo I've ever seen.
I wish your family well in the midst of your loss of Jullian and joy in the birth of Chloe. Stunning photo of your wife meeting her daughter. I pray that they both grow stronger and healthier every day.
My heart broker for you and your wife, Chris :-( I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son...but it makes me happy to hear about your precious daughter and her strong spirit. Big hugs and I will send you healing energy. Gorgeous photo of such an amazing moment.
I will pray tonight for all of you . The loss of a baby is like no other . My best friend went through this as well and it is hard everyday . The joy of your little girl will fill your hearts and hopefully that will help.....i'm SO SO Sorry for the loss of your son .
That is a heart breaking story. You and your wife's strength amazes me. I have two children and can't even imagine your sorrow. This photo tells a corageous story and I hope things get better for you and your beloved family. Good luck and thank you for posting this.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy :-( My thoughts are with you and your family . Chloe sounds like a fighter, this is one of the most beautiful photos I've seen, such emotion.
This is a precious image. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful and intimate moment with us. I mourn with you for your loss of sweet Julian, but celebrate with you the life that you have in Chloe. Praying for your family as you mourn, adjust to being parents and deal with the difficulties of having Chloe in NICU. May she and your wife be well enough to come home soon!
It saddens my heart to hear that you have lost a precious son...I am also filled with joy that you have a perfect little girl who you will get to share your life with. I will be praying for your whole family to be strong and have a speedy recovery. This is an amazing picture. I hope it hangs on her nursery wall for years to come.
oh Chris... i am so so sorry for the loss of your little boy... this is so heart breaking... wishing you, your wife and baby Chloe lots of strength in the months ahead...
this is so beautiful Chris; there are hardly adequate words to give to you in your time of need. *Sending you and your family lots strength, support and love. You are such a special part of this community, and loved by us all.
OH wow.....no words can give you that solace that you need right now....thank you for sharing your most raw and tender moments. they are beautifully touching photos.
Thank you so much for sharing this emotional time with us all. So sorry for the loss of your tiny Julian and I send all my best wishes to you, your wife and to little Chloe.
Chris being a mum myself this brought tears to my eyes and left me speechless. My deepest commiserations for Julian and wishing speedy growth to your beautiful miracle girl chloe. Sending hugs and prayers to you and you family.
I could never begin to understand what an emotional roller coaster you must be on Chris, hugs and heartfelt wishes to you and your wife and little Chloe.... and also to your little man Julian who i'm sure will always keep care of his sister....My eldest now 25 was born 4 weeks early which is not that bad but she was also very small, 2lb 11 oz a whole pound heavier than Chloe and she looked so very tiny but found a strength and forged ahead in leaps and bounds and is now a gorgeous young woman.... love to hear updates on how you are all going and take care and know people are thinking about you and your family x
Beautiful shot of a wonderful moment. So sorry for your loss of Julian. I cant imagine the pain. Enjoy the growth and strength of little Chloe. Hugs to you and your wife.
My twin daughters were born at 27 weeks. They are 7 years-old now and doing completely fine. Hopefully you will be able to put this in you rearview mirror soon.
Oh my gosh Chris! I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. Thinking of you, your wife, and little baby Chloe on this Wednesday morning! Stay strong!
Chris - my heart goes out to you and your wife. What a terrible and sad turn of events. Though we don't know each other outside of 365, Chloe will certainly be in my prayers. I'm thankful to hear your wife is recovering well from ecoli. I just can't believe what all has happened to the both of you. I am so sad to hear about Julian. I can't imagine what you must be going through.
I saw this picture today on the pp and was drawn to it because I am about to meet my fourth grandchild in a few days. Of course reading your story brought me to tears. One because of your tremendous loss and two because of your tremendous hope. You, your wife and your beautiful new daughter will be in my prayers. And although it may sound trite, I firmly believe your little Julian is being held gently in God's arms.
No words... What an incredibly hard time you're having... This photo is beautiful and awesome... and priceless... Best wishes and love for you and your family.
Oh my goodness Chris, I've just stumbled across this. My hopes and prayers go out to you and your family...Chloe looks like a fighter. My godson was born about the same period and weighed just 2lbs. He is a happy healthy strong 6 year old now. A lovely photo at what must be a horribly difficult and emotional time for you x
chris, i'm so very sorry for your terribly loss. i hope chloe continues to thrive and that your wife is feeling better and healthy soon. many prayers coming your way during what is obviously a difficult and bittersweet time for all of you.
Chris, I am so, so sorry for your loss. As the parent of twins I know the difficulty and stresses that a twin pregnancy can put on the body. I too had one child in the NICU and know the agony of waiting for information from the staff and the feeling of utter helplessness. I join those above me in wishing you, your wife and your daughter the strength you will all need in the next few months and my sincere hope for a healthy outcome for your daughter. Know you are all in our thoughts.
I am so very sorry for your loss, I have tears in my eyes reading this. And very importantly - congratulations on your baby girl, may she bring much joy and sunshine into your lifes!
Oh honey...Oh Honey...I am so sorry...totally crying right now but so happy that you have chloe. I am sending you lots of love and hugs and strength.....
thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you deal with both joy and pain... my cousin had a similar outcome with her twins many years ago and they struggled with their mix of emotions but managed through it somehow
Oh man... I only heard tonight when meeting up in London with some 365ers... So sorry to hear the news and my thoughts go out to you and your wife and Chloe..
My thoughts and prayer to you and your family. Baby Julian Edward will be looking over his baby sister Chloe Emma. Will continue to send happy thoughts your way.
What a beautiful, tender photo, Chris... Chloe has such small, delicate hands and I'm sure you and Lili are full of joy when you hold them. My thoughts are with you. I hope you find peace when you think of your son.
Such a moving and tender moment you captured here. I don't know you beyond our 365 world but I had tears streaming as I read your story. I sincerely hope that you are able to take some comfort in knowing that, although most of us don't truly know each other, we all really care and will be sending many prayers of comfort and peace for your family. Continued strength and recovery for your wonderful wife and precious Chloe.
Hi Chris - just noticed this amazing pic was # 1. I know the photo stuff doesn't mean much now, but it does show the wonderful support of so many friends that keep you in their thoughts and prayers here in 365 land!
Hi Chris - I also just noticed this amazing picture, and just want to join this 365 community to express my solidarity. My prayers for Chloe, your wife and you.
What a beautiful, moving picture and story. Bittersweet indeed, and I am so sorry about your little boy. May Chloe always be a joy and comfort to both of you. How tiny and delicate she is - and yet so strong at the same time. She'll grow so quickly that later this year you'll look back on this picture and find it hard to believe she was ever this size.
what an unfair mix of emotions you and your wife must be feeling right now. Such a beautiful, touching moment you have captured here! i hope both mother and daughter are doing well (and of course daddy)! Found this at #1 on the top 20.....couldn't be a more fitting place to be x
More thoughts and love for you and your family are being sent to you now as I was so drawn to you by this extraordinary image. Blessings upon you all. My prayers are with you.
Thank you for sharing. I am so so sorry, Chris. I am typing this with tears in my eyes. I cannot even imagine. All the best for you wife, you and little Chloe!!!!
My thoughts are with you and your family... it's certainly a bittersweet thing... I am so sorry for your loss but at the same time so happy for the new addition to your family. :)
praying for you and your family for strength in such a trying time. your picture is so amazing and full of emotion, and your description has me in tears.
I have been away and only came to your news through this picture being no1 in the top 20. What joy and sadness mixed in such measure. Be sure we are all sending prayers and thoughts to you and your little family even from across the pond. x
OMG Chris.. I am crying reading this.. My heart goes out to you all. I am sending you all the warmest wishes my heart can send. Huge love to you all, and especially Chole, bless her. xx
Feeling for you Chris what a time of joy and sorrow. Feeling for you both, and wishing your new family the very best. A wonderful image and new beginning.
I'm praying for you and your family. I'm so glad to see how well Chloe is doing, and I hope this will continue. So sad to have a loss and a new life at the same time. My heart reaches out to you.
My thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sad for the pain of your loss, but hope that your beautiful little daughter thrives and brings you much joy and healing.
Can't read this without crying. Hope both get well very soon. Feel sorry for your loss and glad for the birth of your little daughter at the same time.
Just saw this pic Chris and I feel so privileged that you chose such an intimate and beautiful picture to share with us. I am so sorry for your loss of your son, but feel joy at the birth of your daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
My heart is breaking for you and your family. This picture says it all without words but I'm glad you're also keeping us updated. I've been so out of the loop here on 365 that I didn't even realize you were going through this until I saw Amy's post. Sending lots of good thoughts your way.
Hi Chris - So very sad about your loss...so very happy for your beautiful daughter. I can't imagine what your new family is going through. Rest assured that may, many people around the world are with you and your loved ones. We are looking forward to seeing everyone in pictures soon!
Chris, I am not often on 365 (but I do miss all the mateship that I enjoyed so much). I came to hear of your tragic loss, and the tough battle you have all had through Amy's post (thank you @amyhughes ) and wanted to stop by to pass on my special thoughts to you and your family. Sending lots of love across the way xx
this is an amazing and poweful picture...I am so touched by your story and prayers are going out for all of you...I am so sorry for your loss and cheering you all on for a winning fight with your daughter and wife...thank you for sharing this with us((hugs))
I am so sorry to hear about your baby boy, Chris. My thoughts are with you! This is a special shot, it looks very fragile and sweet... can't believe how tiny Chloe's hand is...
such a precious photo but when I read the story with it it made me cry! I'm so sorry for your loss but so happy for the joy you have ahead of you with little Chloe. I wish you and your family well and look forward to seeing many more shots of you all as she grows. :)
I have been looking at all your photos and reading your story. I feel sad for your loss but happy to see that you are finding joy with what God has given you...prayers for you and your wife and little Chloe
Oh Chris, I'm sitting here totally shocked. I'm so, so sorry for the loss of Julian. Obviously, this is a little while ago now, and you have the most precious little Chloe. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. xx
I started right now with Chloe's picture that you posted today, and followed the pictures back. What amazing progress she has made. I wish her and you health and happiness and look forward to seeing many more pictures of joyous moments to come.
I was drawn to the tenderness of this pic...after reading the comments I was so moved. So sorry for the loss of Julian, yet happy to see you will create lovely memories with Chloe. This is a great photo.
Such an amazing and beautiful picture of a very special moment. So fragile and tiny and SO much love.
My sincere condolences on the loss of your son...
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.
I wish you and your family all the best!
Excellent picture; very poignant.
so sorry for your loss.
wishing you lots of strength to you, your wife and of course little miracle Chloe. so tiny and perfect.
a precious picture...xx
This image is so very moving.
This photo is so touching
I wish both your wife and your daughter a speedy recovery and all the best for the future.
The photo is so beautiful and touching.
Really beautiful and touching photo.
Chloe is tiny and so beautiful!!!
Such a beautiful photo!!!
Best wishes.
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