My best friend and colleague died unexpectedly from a massive heart attack this morning, and I am hurting terribly from this loss. My mind can barely function right now, but I need to do something to honor my dear friend. I can think of no better way to honor his memory than through my photography. Clark was one of my most encouraging supporters and had even caught the photography "bug" because of my project. To honor him, I wanted to find a special photograph to dedicate in his memory. As I perused my photos, this one jumped out at me. He loved the outdoors and the beauty of nature, and this beautiful sunset seemed the perfect scene to share in his memory. As I said in the commentary under this photo in my project, "For now, the sun has gone down, but God and His mercy will see us through this tragic loss, and the sun will rise again someday. "
Clark, this one is for you. You were a dear friend and I loved you dearly. Your passing leaves a hole in the hearts of all who knew and loved you. Your legacy as a father, teacher, coach, and friend will live on in the hearts and minds of those whose lives you touched.
Please share your special memorial photos with me so that I, too, can find comfort from others who have shared a similar loss.
I am so sorry for your loss and for the loss of all those that loved your friend, taken too soon. It's never easy. . .
This is a photo of the only uncle I would have had were he not killed in WWII. His loss was a palpable part of my family, my grandparents having never recovered.
It is he, Solon, for whom I am named. And I always wished I had had the opportunity to know him.
You and your friends and family are in my prayers. I can empathize with the whole in your heart right now. Here is what I dedicated to my sister, who passed at the young age of 26, also unexpectedly. Time helps to heal.
"Perhaps they are not
stars in the sky,
but rather openings
where our loved ones
shine down,
to let us know they
are happy."
@dejongdd Beautiful tribute. I lost my best friend 13 years ago. Before much photography. I do have a drawing I did in Jr high of the two of us in art class. That is my memory picture. So sorry for your loss.
@webfoot Paul, thank you for sharing this tribute. Too often in mass-tragedies like the earthquake in Japan, the individual souls get lost. Your memorial is a poignant reminder of such massive loss.
@stepheesue What a handsome man your uncle was. I can fully understand your desire to have known him. My biological father died when I was 13 months old and I often think about who he was and how my life would be different had he not died so tragically. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Deb. I lost both my sister and my brother within 9 month of each other and can feel with the loss of your dear friend with you..
my brother loved all of nature and took daily hikes in a nearby forest.
@kvanhorn What a beautiful tribute to your sister. Your words touched me deeply and I will look at the stars differently tonight. Thank you for sharing your loss-story with me!
@asrai Your memorial photo is so simple, yet very touching. Yellow roses are my favorite, so this one really spoke to me. Thank you for your kind words.
@psychographer What a beautiful rose tribute to your mother. As I told Lee, yellow roses are my favorite so this photo really touched my heart. Thank you.
@mej2011 Losing two friends in the same year must have been unbearable. I love your photos that memorialize both beautiful women. Thank you for sharing them with me.
@annaruth Anna, your mother was beautiful! I am going to pray for you through the next few weeks of the holiday season. I'm sure they will be extremely difficult for you. Thank you for sharing your memorial photos here.
@bruni Oh my! I cannot imaging the immensity of losing not one, but two siblings so close to one another. My heart truly goes out to you. Thank you for sharing these memorial photos with us.
@hagscat Your grandfather was quite handsome, Carin. You were fortunate to share so many years with him. Thank you for your words of comfort and the "hugs". I definitely felt them across the miles.
@kvanhorn i'm so sorry for your loss. i can't imagine. . .i've never hear that poem, those words. so deeply touching. thank you for sharing them. I'm definitely going to keep a copy of them close.
July the 26th my sister passed away at 45 years old to cancer. I still cannot write (type) about this, as I just break down when i try. Sending you huge hugs xxx
@michelleyoung Michelle, what a gorgeous photo. The lily looks sad. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your sister. There is nothing quite like the bond between sisters. I feel your loss.
In April our neighbour and former classmate of my son collapsed and died inexplicably at the age of 14. This is my shot for that day when life seemed so fragile:
And one for his funeral day:
It's so hard - his parents are still totally bereft - but I hope one day they will be able to conjure happy memories of his life and I hope you will be able to reach a peaceful place as well. So sorry.
My deepest sympathy to you on the loss of your dear friend. The sun's rays shining through the clouds always reminds me of God's presence and the comfort He brings to those who morn.
This one was for grandma who passed away memorial day..
and this one was to help my son sort out what had happened...
Saying goodbyephoto 443So I got to thinking.. how am I going to make sure Avery knows death is permanent?
By getting his help in returning some of the equipment grandma used...
I asked him in the car what death meant to him.
He told me that it means, that you are not alive anymore... and that you cant see the person you love anymore... that you are a spirit. and wont be in pain anymore.
Good lord he is 6 and understands it better than some 40 yr olds..
I asked him if he felt ok in helping me take the walker back to the senior center, and he said yes, because grandma couldnt use it anymore and someone else could. and it will help them go shopping , like it did grandma.. oh and Im tired so can you push me in it? It was a walker with a seat.
So I pushed him some of the way,,
When we got inside he told the lady at the desk, that we are returning the walker cuz grandma doesnt need it anymore..
He has stopped just blurting out to anyone that she died , which is good? lol
anyway. there is a lovely park next to the senior center so we stopped there for awhile and played.
Take care, I hope your heart can heal, My your friends journey home be speedy ..
@dejongdd thank you Deb. I appreciate it tremendously. I will be praying for you as well; that God fills you with His peace that surpasses all understanding. And that you and your family are surrounded by people who will comfort you during this time (2nd Corinthians 1:3-4)
@michelleyoung
I lost my sister 4 years ago to ovarian cancer. She was my best friend. Til this day I want to call her and chat about what our day was like. Losing her was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. I feel your loss palpably. Be kind and gentle with yourself. It gets a little bit easier each year, but you will always love and miss her.
@dejongdd
I lost my friend's husband very suddenly and it was such a shock. Then a few years later, she died too- also without warning and a terrible repetition of the stunning effect that sudden death has. Take the time you need to deal with it.
This is sort of a memorial for my Dad.
I am so sorry for your loss... And while each loss is painful, I think sudden losses are especially difficult for never having the chance to say good-bye.
This photo is of my much-loved mother-in-law on the anniversary of her death. It was actually taken by my husband who uses it as the wallpaper on his phone and I borrowed it from him to post on my project in her honor. She was 99 when she died and had been sick for a few weeks, so we were "prepared" but I still miss her wonderful kindness and wisdom terribly.
This photo contains two very special angels that represent two very special "angel' in my life... The blue ceramic angel hanging on the wall and was made by a dear friend who died of cancer in January of 2002 and the grass fiber angel to the left of it is a gift that was intended for a friend and classmate who died one month before that. Those deaths hit me particularly hard because I was experiencing a serious health issue of my own at the time and the courage shown by those two "angels" throughout their long illnesses were a huge source of strength for me during my own struggle, so it was totally appropriate the I ended up with these two angels.
(If you click on the picture you can then view it larger to see the two angels a bit better if you want to)
On October 24th 2011, my 24 year old cousin was killed in a tragic tractor trailer (semi) accident. He died while making a run across Newfoundland, his home, a place he loved as much as trucking. He had traveled the entire continent and loved each and every kilometer of it. One week after his death, I began my 5550km drive to move from Calgary, AB, to Newfoundland. I dedicated my trip to Bryan and photographed a moment each day in an effort to see the country as he did. Here are a few from my week on the road....
When I was a young child I had two best friends. They were brother and sister and lived next door to me. We played everyday and our parents had a step ladder going over the fence between our gardens because we kept breaking the fence. When I was 10 they moved a few miles down the road and our friendship became less close as they made new friends and so did I, but we kept close until I was 17 and part time jobs, university plans and our differing lifestyles took us further apart again.
The three of us reconnected over facebook a few years ago and I saw Richard in a shopping centre about two years ago and we talked about our childhood and made plans for all three of us to meet up and chew over the good times. Sadly that day never happened as a year ago on the 7th of Sept he took his own life for reasons we will never know. Today he would have been 31 and so here is my Sept 11 tribute for the childhood friends that we grow up and leave behind.
I only have a handful of not very detailed photos to remember 17 years of friendship but when I think of the three of us together it is in our gardens, up trees, on bikes and its usually bathed in dappled sunlight of our summers.
This photo is of my son James, another cheeky monkey, with a great smile and a fair amount of mischief :D
In Memory of Death and Celebration of Life
March 22 is the anniversary of a tragic event in my life. I was teaching in a small Christian school and the day had begun with the usual hustle and bustle of getting out of the house on time and arriving for the morning teacher's meeting on schedule. But all of that changed when we learned of Jame's death. I will never know or understand what drove him to take his own life. But I know his decision profoundly changed everyone he knew. James was creative, talented, independent, quirky, and bright. He could annoy you in one moment and endear himself to you in the next. He had a passion for missions and youth ministry. He was not satisfied with easy answers. In many ways he was extreme, and that intensity pushed him into choosing an extreme way out of the pain he must have been fighting. My heart mourns his loss because I didn't get to know him better. Could I have helped him out of the darkness he battled? I don't know. I never will. And that is the worst cut of suicide; the many unanswered questions those effected by it will live with for the rest of their lives. I wanted to post a tribute to James that celebrated his life; not his death. He is with Christ, and he is most likely flashing that contagious grin of his all over heaven. Why only one drumstick? James was a talented musician, but the music of his life is incomplete. Rest in peace James. 11-30-91~3-22-10
@dejongdd I am sorry to hear of this deep loss in your life. I think this is a wonderful way to pay tribute to your friend and to allow others to express similar feelings concerning their loved ones. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
So sorry for your loss. I have lost loved ones and some friends. Luckily I have not lost anyone extremely close to me besides my grandparents. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
@dejongdd my thoughts are with you... death is never easy, particularly when the person hasn't lived long enough. I've done a number of memorial photos, most having to do with my great niece, who died in October 2010 just 10 days before her 11th birthday from bone cancer. This one was the first, and although it may not be the best, I think it is my favorite.
I lost my cousin this year who I was very close to when we were younger, so this shot was for Susie:
Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
but all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.
@dejongdd I am so sorry for your loss and I am sorry to everyone else for theirs. Death is always such a hard thing to understand and comprehend. My thoughts are with all of you.
This is a photo I took back in February in honour of my Uncle Del who had passed away the year before. He had Motor Neurons Disease and he caught flu which had him hospitalised for weeks. Eventually he asked them to let him go home where he died with my Aunt and two cousins next to him. Del was a great lover of motocycles and I had many fond memories of him as a kid and his bikes and gear.
I photographed this wedding, the bride was very young and had already lost both her parents to cancer. Very sad. She had her parents wedding photo in her bouquet to have her parents at her side on her special day.
Recently lost a dear friend to breast cancer. During her funeral service, the priest said some things that stuck to mind. He said "When we lose a loved one, life will change but it must go on." He also said "We are a gift from God. When you walk through the cemetery, every headstone will have the date they were born, the date they died and a dash in between. God is responsible for both of those dates but you and I are responsible for what's in between. Whether the dash is long or short, you are responsible for making a difference and how you want to be remembered when God takes you back".
I'm deeply sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss, Deb. I also lost a very close friend a few weeks ago, and posted this memorial for her after I got home, on the night she passed away. And after seeing all the memorials that have been posted here, the thought occurred to me that we are all so lucky that we have photography to turn to to help us express our grief.
My friend was only 63. She loved my cloud photos and would inspire me with her wonderful comments about them. On this night, as I walked out into the hallway near the ICU, I found myself standing in front of this collage of cloud photos. Unbelievable. So, I took one more cloud photo for her. This one's for you, Marilee.
I took this when i ventured to China to not only fulfill a dream but also to spinkle my Dads ashes to fufill a promise..We were always going together, talked about it since i was a small girl....In a way we still went together..So sorry for your loss, hugs to you x
@juletee A friend of mine from the photography lab died in a flood this past year. . . this picture is taken near where he was washed away in his car while driving home. He always took time to look at my pictures -- even before I started my 365. He is missed as he was so kind.
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This is a photo of the only uncle I would have had were he not killed in WWII. His loss was a palpable part of my family, my grandparents having never recovered.
It is he, Solon, for whom I am named. And I always wished I had had the opportunity to know him.
"Perhaps they are not
stars in the sky,
but rather openings
where our loved ones
shine down,
to let us know they
are happy."
http://365project.org/kvanhorn/365/2011-06-16
so deeply sorry for your loss, you and all whose lives he touched are in my thoughts
Deb, I am so sorry for your loss.
This one I did for this past Mother's Day
This one I did to mark the 6 year anniversary of her passing.
And this one I just did because I was thinking about her and I happen to have her old stuffed animals on my bed.
my brother loved all of nature and took daily hikes in a nearby forest.
I am so sorry for your loss and send hugs across the miles to you xxhugxx
Here is one I just did for my grandfather. The 3 year anniversary of his death is tomorrow. It never gets easy.
I'm sorry for your loss, Deb, and my thoughts are with you.
And one for his funeral day:
It's so hard - his parents are still totally bereft - but I hope one day they will be able to conjure happy memories of his life and I hope you will be able to reach a peaceful place as well. So sorry.
This one was for grandma who passed away memorial day..
and this one was to help my son sort out what had happened...
Saying goodbyephoto 443So I got to thinking.. how am I going to make sure Avery knows death is permanent?
By getting his help in returning some of the equipment grandma used...
I asked him in the car what death meant to him.
He told me that it means, that you are not alive anymore... and that you cant see the person you love anymore... that you are a spirit. and wont be in pain anymore.
Good lord he is 6 and understands it better than some 40 yr olds..
I asked him if he felt ok in helping me take the walker back to the senior center, and he said yes, because grandma couldnt use it anymore and someone else could. and it will help them go shopping , like it did grandma.. oh and Im tired so can you push me in it? It was a walker with a seat.
So I pushed him some of the way,,
When we got inside he told the lady at the desk, that we are returning the walker cuz grandma doesnt need it anymore..
He has stopped just blurting out to anyone that she died , which is good? lol
anyway. there is a lovely park next to the senior center so we stopped there for awhile and played.
Take care, I hope your heart can heal, My your friends journey home be speedy ..
I lost my sister 4 years ago to ovarian cancer. She was my best friend. Til this day I want to call her and chat about what our day was like. Losing her was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. I feel your loss palpably. Be kind and gentle with yourself. It gets a little bit easier each year, but you will always love and miss her.
I lost my friend's husband very suddenly and it was such a shock. Then a few years later, she died too- also without warning and a terrible repetition of the stunning effect that sudden death has. Take the time you need to deal with it.
This is sort of a memorial for my Dad.
This photo is of my much-loved mother-in-law on the anniversary of her death. It was actually taken by my husband who uses it as the wallpaper on his phone and I borrowed it from him to post on my project in her honor. She was 99 when she died and had been sick for a few weeks, so we were "prepared" but I still miss her wonderful kindness and wisdom terribly.
This photo contains two very special angels that represent two very special "angel' in my life... The blue ceramic angel hanging on the wall and was made by a dear friend who died of cancer in January of 2002 and the grass fiber angel to the left of it is a gift that was intended for a friend and classmate who died one month before that. Those deaths hit me particularly hard because I was experiencing a serious health issue of my own at the time and the courage shown by those two "angels" throughout their long illnesses were a huge source of strength for me during my own struggle, so it was totally appropriate the I ended up with these two angels.
(If you click on the picture you can then view it larger to see the two angels a bit better if you want to)
Not a great photo, but it's for her.
When I was a young child I had two best friends. They were brother and sister and lived next door to me. We played everyday and our parents had a step ladder going over the fence between our gardens because we kept breaking the fence. When I was 10 they moved a few miles down the road and our friendship became less close as they made new friends and so did I, but we kept close until I was 17 and part time jobs, university plans and our differing lifestyles took us further apart again.
The three of us reconnected over facebook a few years ago and I saw Richard in a shopping centre about two years ago and we talked about our childhood and made plans for all three of us to meet up and chew over the good times. Sadly that day never happened as a year ago on the 7th of Sept he took his own life for reasons we will never know. Today he would have been 31 and so here is my Sept 11 tribute for the childhood friends that we grow up and leave behind.
I only have a handful of not very detailed photos to remember 17 years of friendship but when I think of the three of us together it is in our gardens, up trees, on bikes and its usually bathed in dappled sunlight of our summers.
This photo is of my son James, another cheeky monkey, with a great smile and a fair amount of mischief :D
In Memory of Death and Celebration of Life
March 22 is the anniversary of a tragic event in my life. I was teaching in a small Christian school and the day had begun with the usual hustle and bustle of getting out of the house on time and arriving for the morning teacher's meeting on schedule. But all of that changed when we learned of Jame's death. I will never know or understand what drove him to take his own life. But I know his decision profoundly changed everyone he knew. James was creative, talented, independent, quirky, and bright. He could annoy you in one moment and endear himself to you in the next. He had a passion for missions and youth ministry. He was not satisfied with easy answers. In many ways he was extreme, and that intensity pushed him into choosing an extreme way out of the pain he must have been fighting. My heart mourns his loss because I didn't get to know him better. Could I have helped him out of the darkness he battled? I don't know. I never will. And that is the worst cut of suicide; the many unanswered questions those effected by it will live with for the rest of their lives. I wanted to post a tribute to James that celebrated his life; not his death. He is with Christ, and he is most likely flashing that contagious grin of his all over heaven. Why only one drumstick? James was a talented musician, but the music of his life is incomplete. Rest in peace James. 11-30-91~3-22-10
Here's mine, one from Mother's Day. In memory of my daughter who was murdered seven years ago. She would have been eight this year.
Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
but all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.
This is a photo I took back in February in honour of my Uncle Del who had passed away the year before. He had Motor Neurons Disease and he caught flu which had him hospitalised for weeks. Eventually he asked them to let him go home where he died with my Aunt and two cousins next to him. Del was a great lover of motocycles and I had many fond memories of him as a kid and his bikes and gear.
1. Memorial Day Tribute to our Grandpa
2. 911 tribute:
Thinking of you Deb x This is my memorial image from a few months ago
We grew up in the Navy together, had our first jobs at the same place when we got out; and I was his daughters godfather.
He passed away to suddenly at an early age.
If he is listening, I want to thank him for his freindship.
Dave, my shipmate, is the one on the left. Taken off the coast of Sicely 1972.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss.
My friend was only 63. She loved my cloud photos and would inspire me with her wonderful comments about them. On this night, as I walked out into the hallway near the ICU, I found myself standing in front of this collage of cloud photos. Unbelievable. So, I took one more cloud photo for her. This one's for you, Marilee.