Neighbourhood Watch by graemestevens

Neighbourhood Watch

I find that my patience with cold calling door to door sales people is wearing thin. I cannot bring myself to care if your telecommunications offer is the best when you don't know what my current deal is. I do not need a ventilation system as I already have windows. I do not need a heating system as I have a multitude of jerseys and blankets. I most certainly do not need your version of religion and the fear of your gods retribution forced down my throat when I already have the gates to hell in my back yard.
This is the approach I will be taking henceforth. Shock and Awe.
Best viewed against the black if you have the time.
Excellent shot, expressive and deep.
July 19th, 2014  
Haha, I could have done with you today when the Jehovah Witnesses came a knocking. Ignored them for as long as I could but they would not stop ringing my door bell. Your creativity knows no bounds.
July 19th, 2014  
wow! Gripping! I nearly ducked when I saw this!
July 19th, 2014  
Super effort Graeme.
July 19th, 2014  
nice!!
July 19th, 2014  
@jptv Thank you very much
@ukandie1 Thanks - we had the same experience a couple of days ago with some Telecoms sales people. If I said no once what makes them think that knocking on my door half an hour later will make any difference?
@eyeamlisa LOL, sorry and thanks
@bigugly Thanks, a few focus issues but it's quite difficult to hold a pose for 4 seconds in a darkened room!
July 19th, 2014  
@hippiechick13 Thanks very much
July 19th, 2014  
Awesome. I feel the same way about door to door sales.
July 19th, 2014  
@maishanny Thanks very much. Maybe we should form a posse.
July 19th, 2014  
Wow! You seems to be ready to make a movie. Or a crime... Really love this shot and your writting. Hope to meet you one day.
July 19th, 2014  
Clever creative shot! Over the top and Low key at the same time.
July 19th, 2014  
Looks serious! Great lighting effect
July 19th, 2014  
LOL - Put that on your front door. LOL
July 19th, 2014  
wow! Who knew??? We share another interest! I like this. A lot!

Gotta ask. What are the guns?
July 19th, 2014  
but...but...but what if it's Girl Scout sell Girl Scout cookies
Did you really catch yourself in a leap here.
Totally awesomeness!
July 19th, 2014  
@daneau Thanks very much indeed...one day we can meet in a cafe and I can scare you in real life!
@redy4et Thanks very much :)
@pusspup Thanks very much - it's surprising what light you can get from 2 iPads!
@cindyloo LOL, I may just have to do that...
@voiceprintz Thanks very much - the guns are $3 specials from a toy shop that shoot little suction cup thingies...
@livvy What if it is? ;) as for leaping through the air...ummmm...no. I'm lying sideways on 2 black chairs from the dining room, with one leg in the air and a knife in my mouth. Not an easy pose to hold, hence the slight focus issues!
July 19th, 2014  
@graemestevens Ha ha ha! you make me laugh so much. I hope so!
July 19th, 2014  
This is exceptional.
July 19th, 2014  
Just love this, know how you feel, but I have a much better solution, the Sheriff can move from the observation post i.e. the couch, through the torpedo shoot i.e. the pet door to the gate in 5secs flat, barking obscenities ( I think ).We then decide whether to make an appearance or not. Fav :-)
July 19th, 2014  
You are so right, it looks very dramatic viewed with balck, absolutely agree with the last point, Don't sell me your version of god. Did you get youself from mirror?
July 19th, 2014  
Striking image! Give 'em hell cowboy! lol :)
July 19th, 2014  
golly - is it that serious round your neighbourhood! good image
July 19th, 2014  
oh *insert expletive* this is my favourite yet! It oozes the likes of Sin City ( if there had been a touch of red ) or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Shoot 'Em Up , Pulp Fiction ........the list goes on -------------you have done us @gigiflower proud!
July 19th, 2014  
Sam
You don't like Jehovah Witness or Mormons banging on your door? Oh how you sin. You should greet them in the nude, with a glass of wine in hand and ask them in for a casual drink. Always seems to work for me! I will also take this opportunity to congratulate you on your recovery from last nights drinking session to provide us with this lovely calming shot of yourself. I do hope @annied enjoys it as much as I have :)
July 19th, 2014  
@gigiflower hahahaha you were writing the same time as me lol
July 19th, 2014  
oh - just in case you didn't realise - LOVE IT!
July 19th, 2014  
Sam
@annied Jinx!!! Typing together :)
July 19th, 2014  
@gigiflower hahahahaha
July 19th, 2014  
And here I was thinking of dropping in with some serious things to discuss, and odd practices to recommend! Now you'll never know!
July 19th, 2014  
Ha - this is great - have you a solution to cold calling annoyances on the telephone? Now there's a challenge for you!
July 19th, 2014  
Haha love the story but love your shot even more its fabulous you have done this so well Big FAV!!!
July 19th, 2014  
Fav!
July 19th, 2014  
An interesting and probably effective method of dealing with cold callers! Very pulp fiction.
July 19th, 2014  
@ceilidh I was going to respond with something similar - hahaha! Remind me never to knock on your door then, Graeme! Luckily we don't have salesmen knocking on our doors here - they just phone us, all times of the day and night! Many years ago, newly wed and naive, we had Mormons bother us, and we could never say no....they would bug us and bug us, resulting in us cooking in the dark, and not switching our lights on! One night my hubby let them in, and I locked myself in my bedroom but could still see into the lounge through the window...only to spot my poor hubby being forced to kneel and pray..WELL, how times have changed - he now greets them at the door almost as aggressively as you look! FAB capture - I would love to see inside your head!
July 19th, 2014  
very cool! love it! FAV
July 19th, 2014  
Lou
This is too great. I personally have never had salesmen come to my house - all I have for reference is a scene in an old movie called Secondhand Lions, which is basically the Texas equivalent of this. And as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I must say, I've seen a good share of the human spectrum :) Versions of the "gates to hell" story are actually pretty common, which cracks us up because we're always showing people that there is no teaching of hell in the Bible.
July 19th, 2014  
Okay, I now promise to never ever approach unannounced!
July 19th, 2014  
It's a wider they dare bother you specially if they saw this......your house, your choice, don't answer the door! I can tell by the look of them & just never answer.
July 19th, 2014  
A man after my own heart.
July 19th, 2014  
@spanner Thanks very much
@hermann Our dogs rush to the door so that they can be the first to show any visitors where we keep the valuables!
@yaorenliu Thanks very much - no mirror, tripod and timer!
@creativefool LOL, thanks - maybe I should have broken out the chaps
@lorrainelouise No, not really...we seem to have rashes of it and then they go away... And thanks very much
@annied I'm always inserting expletives - glad you like it
@gigiflower Me at the door naked...should stop any cold callers...and thanks very much
@ceilidh Feel free to drop in, there's always room for discussion after I've finished diving through the air with my toy guns...
@dide Thanks. Our number never used to be listed, until this year and we've noticed a definite increase in calls to try and sell us something...always when we're trying to eat...
@tracelee Thanks very much indeed
@ziggy77 Thanks very much :)
@chippy1402 Thanks very much, I'm yet to try this method for real...
@lynnilou The things we put up with over time...still. Hiding behind the couch is always fun and you never know what you'll find back there!
@andrewkru Thanks very much!
@louuncouth Thanks very much - I can only imagine the things you've heard! You must go away shaking our heads and sniggering :) We have a particular group - and I don't who they are - that arrives in a black van every second Sunday, forms ranks on the street and then starts knocking on doors - I'm running out of ways to say "no thank you" as they keep on trying, but it's the salespeople that really get me...pushy pushy pushy!
@taffy LOL, everyone's scared of my little plastic guns...
@happypat I love answering the door...there's always fun to be had ;)
July 19th, 2014  
@rachelwithey LOL, thanks very much
July 19th, 2014  
I don't think they will mess with you again!! Haha...I know I wouldn't!
July 20th, 2014  
@graemestevens I actually thought you took it right way up and rotated hahaha the nut cracking obviously does strengthen those muscles then lol
July 20th, 2014  
@harbie Not once I've finished burying them anyway...
@annied Now that would be cheating!
July 20th, 2014  
@graemestevens :) purist
July 20th, 2014  
I was just about to knock on your door and try to sell you a bible, but I don't think think I'll bother now.
July 20th, 2014  
@dh Best not to, I can't be held responsible for my actions
July 20th, 2014  
I feel the same very frequently!!! Brilliant
July 20th, 2014  
@roseolivia thanks very much
July 20th, 2014  
Very creative Graeme- I wish I had even 10% of your inspiration.
July 21st, 2014  
@vignouse Thanks very much - the secret is to be a certifiable lunatic ;)
July 21st, 2014  
very matrix, how are you even defying gravity?
July 24th, 2014  
@kali66 I'm lying across two kitchen chairs that I've covered with a black cloth and heavily edited! I think if I tried to defy gravity it would be a completely different shot!
July 24th, 2014  
Instant fav! :-) Great write up… I sympathize…!
July 24th, 2014  
@bankmann Thanks very much, I'm running out of polite ways to say "no thanks"
July 25th, 2014  
I can recommend the movie "High Strung" in that respect: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102032/
Yes, Jim Carry is featured as the Devil's right hand man, but he's not the main character, and the main character's solution to unwanted telephone calls is just plain fun. At least that's the way I remember it. ;-p
July 25th, 2014  
@bankmann I'll have a look at that, thanks
July 25th, 2014  
Well dang, maybe some coffee would help. Let me get you a cup. A fav!
July 30th, 2014  
@amandal thanks very much :)
July 30th, 2014  
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