I returned to Cheshire this weekend - to Dad's home - to spend time alone with my thoughts and no fixed agenda.
Dad breathed his last two weeks ago with all three of his children at his side at home. This is exactly how he wanted it to be. (Well, almost exactly), but that is another story).
I gathered together some things that spoke to me of Dad. He was so many things in life: an engineer, a teacher, a campaigner, a builder, an environmentalist, a gardner, a cyclist, a thinker, a music lover, a walker, a carer, a table tennis player, a lover of language, an artist and a photorapher.
I used to be in awe of him when he transformed the downstairs cloakroom into a dark room and developed his own photographs. I was often in awe of him.
He never did things by halves and strove for a better world for everyone.
There are many stories to tell.
Dad built three house extensions, fixed everything in the house, did all his own car maintenance, built a canoe, wrote for the local parish magazine, helped make Mum's wedding dress, ran an allotment, sang in choirs, and much much more.
When unable to do any of these things for himself, he learned to be content listening to music, playing online bridge, enjoying garden and doing the daily crossword. He never lost his sharp mind. Throughout his deterioration through cancer, he didn't feel sorry for himself and continued to enjoy life.
Dad was frugal yet generous, strict yet loving, an aethiest yet respectful of all religions, content yet curious, serious yet with a dry sense of humour. He was fiercely independent, yet treasured his family and many friendships.
When asked by the GP a few weeks ago if he had heard of mindfulness as he was clearly a master of it, he replied that he was living his days according to these words:
"whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."
Oh how I miss him.
This photograph is in response to my get pushed challenge that I never fullfilled four weeks ago - to create a still life with unusual items.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Helen. Your father was clearly a very remarkable person, of vivid intellect. His memories maybe will not fill the emptiness of his absence, but they will accompany you forever. My condolences.
Oh Helen I am so sorry to hear of your loss. What a remarkable man your father was and such a lovely tribute to him here in both the photograph and your words. Take care xx
I’m sorry Helen, for your loss and understand your pain. You dedicated beautiful words to the memory of your father so that now we can believe we have known. I love his words on meditation. At least I’m relieved that you could be with him, not prevented by the virus
a very poignant tribute to your father, helen. i am deeply sorry to hear of his passing and i understand your sense of loss as you have had to look after him for quite sometime. i hope your sadness would be lessened by the great memories you have of him. you were a great daughter, too; he helped raise a truly wonderful person. my condolences.
So sorry for the loss of your Dad, Helen.Lovely treasures of him.
A beautiful eulogy,he was obviously a man of many talents, and will be sadly missed.My condolences to you and your family.
@caterina thank you Caterina. I was with my father for ten days before he died and was very grateful to have that time with him, difficult though it was to see the daily deterioration. If I can try and live by the words Dad quoted, I am sure to be a better person.
@summerfield your words to kind dear Vicki. Thank you. I hope one day soon to emerge from a sea of paperwork and look forward to following your wonderful stories once more.
@jacqbb Thank you Jacqueline. I didn't want to let anyone down with the get pushed challenges but have had to withdraw for a while. Your challenge, even though delivered very late, was cathartic for me and I was so pleased that you set it.
I am very sorry to hear about your Dad passing. I didn’t know him but I always kept the image of him in the silhouette hat, one of the photos you took.
When you have a special man as your father, as you did, it is such a huge loss when they pass on from this world. Your father was a remarkable man and he has not only left a legacy in the memories you have of him, but also in the children he left behind. I find it so interesting that even though he was an atheist he lived by the words of Philippians 4:8 (one of my favorite passages as well). I think this still life truly reflects his fascinating personality and the daughter who loved him so dearly. It's beautiful. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.
June 19th, 2021
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A beautiful eulogy,he was obviously a man of many talents, and will be sadly missed.My condolences to you and your family.