This picture makes me feel a little better after a long day of school and glumness. My day wasn't exactly horrible...well, nothing super horrible happened that is to say... my first day of senior year just wasn't what I expected and it just left me feeling crummy for the school days to come. I have a feeling I will feel differently later... after I get a little more used to things... but it definitely could be better...that's why I'm bummed.
Now you don't have to read this...I just feel like venting. Who better to share my feelings with than my 365 family?? :)
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So today was my first day of senior year. (I think that's already been established, but just reaffirming the fact.) I think the thing I am most bummed about is my schedule... my classes...
here. let me make a list of why I am in the mood I'm in... I think that will be easier.
1) my first two periods are AP courses. for those that don't know, they are honors classes that can give you college credit (correct me Mrs. Smith if I'm wrong)...they are classes a student chooses to take. so yes, I chose them... and the reason is because I want to challenge myself... but they are the FIRST TWO PERIODS OF MY DAY!! really?! okay so not too big of a deal... I'll get them done and over with right?? ...I'm just not looking forward to the butt load amount of hw to come in the future. it's not that I just don't do my work and I hate using my brain (after all why would I sign up for these classes in the first place??)...its that the two classes will be very time consuming.
2) ...that's not to mention my first period, (an AP class), is English. I have always gotten decent grades in english...but reading shakespeare and other works the school requires you to read and writing essays are just NOT things I enjoy doing. I WISH I enjoyed it...but I dont and cant control it. So that's a downer.
3) one more thing about AP. my second period is Calculus. I get so nervous to go to this class because the teacher is so intimidating. I have nothing against her...I had her last year and she can be great at getting you to understand math... but her class is just a class I cant feel comfortable in. I can't even concentrate all the time because she is so strict...I can't be relaxed. She doesn't scare ME enough for me not to go up and ask her a question... but it's pretty sad when ALL of the students feel this way about a teacher. She keeps us in line, I'll give you that... but it'd be nice if she would just lay off a bit haha ...I guess you guys would just have to be a student in her class to understand....
4) all of my classes after these two kinda stink because I am split up from all of my friends... well, good friends lets say. It's just an unfortunate fact I am learning to accept and to deal with, but that's just another little thing that made my day bleh.
5) I chose to take study hall this year. I felt I needed it because I was taking some tough classes and I thought I'd need the time to work. Okay great, but there's almost 70 kids in that class (WAY more than in a normal class just so you know, the study hall room is huge, my other classes contain on avg. maybe 28 kids??) ...so it gets pretty noisy. luckily some will leave to be assistants for other teachers... but I also don't like the room. haha okay that's being a little picky... but it's more of an auditorium setting, the desks are long and connected, and the chairs are so old. Idk... its just not a comfortable working environment...but ehh. I'll live.
6) Lunch. there are 3 lunches at my school. Of course... like every year... I get stuck in 3rd. the reasons 3rd lunch is not as good:
- they run out of food. (only sometimes...but thats rediculous)
- 1st and 2nd lunch have already been there to destroy everything lol
- and of course I'm STARVING by the time it arrives.
I have 3rd lunch for the reason that I'm in choir (which Sunny has always been in with me thank goodness.. so we have lunch together)...but this year, 3rd lunch is different. very few seniors; a ton of under classmen. I like the underclassmen, dont get me wrong. I have nothing against them... its just... we arent with our normal class members... you know what I mean??
7) I couldnt take an art class this year :(( thats just depressing. To me art class was a time to be creative, to take a break from everything school was shoving down our throats...something I enjoyed... but I COULDNT take one this year!!! well, I could if I dropped some classes, but I am making myself take those particular classes to challenge myself and because I will benefit from them. One that is taking place of art this year is Web Design. I WANT to take that class though. Dont know how much I will like it but I'm hoping it will come in handy...
8) Lastly... I signed up for peer tutoring. I help kids with disabilities. I looove helping people and I looooove kids, I'm just saying it wasn't what I expected. I thought I was tutoring kids that were just having trouble in a class! instead I walked into a room full of mentally disabled kids ( poor things :( ) and a very kiddish environment. but you know what....I am going to make it a great class. I WANT to help these kids.... I didnt realize we had so many of them that went to our school... I'm just hoping I can make a difference in their lives and maybe even make a difference in mine.
OOOOOOOOOKAYYYYYYYYYYY.
so that is the end of my complaining about 1st day of senior year lol and yes, maybe I am being a little nit-picky.... but everything added up to an already stressed teenager just didnt make me feel very good, but I feel better that I got that out and shared how I was feeling. I already feel better. I actually just came to the realization that things arent really as bad as they seem...
sorry for the late upload. I STILL have things I need to get done tonight. hopefully I can get well rested before school tomorrow.... I need my rest...
anyways, I took this just a little bit ago. well, more like a few hours ago now, but I was feeling down so I resorted to taking pictures, and this was my favorite that I took tonight. Kind of a quick take/upload, but it's something.
Thanks for stopping by and "listening" to me vent :) or at least looking at my picture. your comments and support mean the world to me even when I can't get on the computer or don't have time to respond to your kindess. Thank you in advance. xoxox. :) :)
Lauren, oh Lauren.......it will get better. Sure, your schedule sucks, lol, and you have a strict teacher, but it will get better. Once you get in the swing of things, and fall into the routine of your schedule, you will be more than capable of handling it . . .
The good thing about the entire day? You still get to take pictures which make you happy, and, well, make others happy :-)
Great picture, I love the colors, love the sun shining, love the field .... another great job by you!
I know what you mean. But you will get past this and look back and realize that these are some of the best days of your life. You are better off venting and not letting it stay bottled up inside. And good for you and Sunny, at least you have lunch together. Take it easy, take a deep breath, and go challenge yourself and you WILL make a difference in those special needs kid's life.
Dee - you and Warrent both but a hug smile on my face. you see, this is why I share my feelings with you guys. you really have a way with wrds Dee and you made me feel so much better. thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Amanda - :) :)
Warren - I really hope so... oh but thanks SO much Warren. you always leave me the nicest comment that I feel I could never top on you. I wish I could make you smile the way you make me smile. Your words mean a lot. Thanks for taking time to comment.
Yep, Warren is right...you will look back at this time as an amazing part of your life. But guess what? There are still many amazing days down the road. Life is full of transitions and each will have it's own particular sweetness. Just sit back and enjoy the journey! :-)
School comes first so upload as late as you wish. It does sound like you had a stressful day for your first day as a senior. As someone stated on FB, it will get better. From you just posted, the peer tutoring of the mentally disabled kids should make you day feel better. My son has a mentally disable friend and he is a joy to be around. If you ever need help with Calculus, let me know and I will guide you in the right direction. It is too bad that your teacher is intimidating. I have a relative in FL that uses FB to post calculus questions for help.
One final not - Congratulations on your 200th post.
Definitely know the feeling. My first day of senior year wasn't what I expected either. But it does get better. Good luck with the AP classes. I took one, AP Statistics, my senior year and was amazed I made it through. I didn't take the exam to see if I could get college credit because I was sick. :( But it definitely challenged me.
I understand about the tutoring thing. At my school we have this program called the A+ Program. Basically, if you meet all the requirements, you get a scholarship for college, but only a few colleges take it. :/ Anyway, I had to do 50 hours of unpaid tutoring to meet the requirement and I was put in a special ed class as well. Completely different world. I didn't know what to expect, but in the end I'm glad I did it. Good luck. I think you'll do great.
The year will get better, just give it time. Just remember to make the most of it, it goes by VERY fast! :D
There is no question that you will have a busy year. You have chosen some tough classes, and there are going to be days when you will feel as though you want to scream and throw in the proverbial towel, but I encourage you to hang tough. This could be major turning point in your life, a time when you will discover a brand new direction, who knows. As I think back to the time when I was in your shoes, I couldn't wait to get out of school. I hated school with a passion, and the day I walked across the platform and received my diploma, I swore to myself that I would never return to school. Ten years later, I took my SAT Exams and re-entered the wonderful world of education. I wish now I would have pushed myself harder when I was in school. You seem like a very intelligent young lady with a huge heart, and I think you will excell. I think this last year is going to be your springboard into a wonderful future. Best of luck in the days ahead of you. Keep us updated.
Lauren~ i just started my sophomore year. i have the same, sort of bummed out feeling. every year i go back to school thinking im going to keep that summer mentality, and it always just turns to glum. But i truly hope it gets better for you...and i have a feeling it will. You always have your camera and your stunning picture...and of course all us fans on 365 :)
I'll let you in on a little secret. shhhh ... Way back in the dark ages when I was in college studying education, the professors told us not to smile at our students until Thanksgiving. The reason? It's easier to maintain discipline if you already have it established. After several months of being tough, you can "lighten up" and the students think you're really not so bad after all, maybe even human. However, if a teacher starts out lax and then tries to tighten the discipline reins, the students think she really is a witch and not the nice person they thought she was and they grow resentful and can refuse to follow directions. I know you had this teacher last year, but I think you'll find in a month or two that she may relax a little.
Good luck with everything! It sounds like you are going to have a lot of new experiences and that can be a little daunting. You are strong, intelligent and creative. Just take a deep breath, square your shoulders and meet each challenge head on. All you can do is try your best. Things usually work out, even the unexpected challenges.
p.s. Don't worry about writing papers ... look at the novel you just wrote. ;-p
As usual, gorgeous photo. Just so ya know, I read all of your venting session, which we all need every once in a while, and I've been right there with ya! It'll get better as the year goes on. By the end of the year none of that will matter one bit. Hopefully things look up tomorrow =)
Lauren, your photo is beautiful! I am sorry to hear that your senior year did not start the way you had hoped, but I am sure that it will get better as you become more used to this new schedule. Good luck, and I hope you have a great senior year!!
This picture is great! Im sure things will turn around. Im taking an AP class this year and there is a ton of summer work. However, it will probably be worth it when you get to college. Reading Shakespeare is pretty bad but just make the best of it. Also, nofearshakespeare.com helps. It is Senior year! Youre supposed to have a great time!
Hey, its all gonna work out :) It always does, and always will. Just make the best of each day, and you're gonna have a great year! But yeaaah, good luck with AP Calc!! :p Ill be no help with that, but Ill write an english paper for ya :)
The first day is never what you expect it to be and tomorrow will be better. Pretty soon you will be caught up in the business of things and everything will be all right. I start to annoy myself when I get in those moods and give myself a lecture and force myself to start looking at the bright side, there is always one and that always helps. :)
Those backlit grasses are gorgeous. I've been looking for a cool shot of them but they haven't ended up the big winner on any of my days yet. Hang in there...your year will fly by. :)
so I failed pre-calculus... umm I don't wish calculus on anybody. i remember my teacher was mean... and always absent because her mom was in the hospital. so you get brownie points for a. choosing to take calculus and b. dealing with a hard teacher. :)
lunch was always a big deal too.... I would always be so worried that my friends wouldn't be there (we only had two lunches, but it was still a major concern). I know one year I was pretty much alone... it kind of sucked at first, but I do enjoy a good people watch, so that was entertaining... eventually I chose to sit with some worthy enough group..hahaha
oh I remember study hall - mine was held in the cafeteria. it was so easy to get distracted because I could watch people walking around outside... but it was a great time to get my homework done, so I was grateful for it... even if it did smell like cafeteria food...
I hope you enjoy your web design class. I'm actually looking to take a bunch of those type of web design classes - you'll have to let me know how it goes. It may be kind of boring, but if it is just a beginner class, try to soak in as much as you can, when you are in college it will help you tons.
I liked english... so can't help you there... although I'm such a procrastinator... really... soooo bad... I'd start to read the book... put it down... pick it up a few days later... wing the pop quiz... read a few more pages... and then speed read the night before the test (some books I just couldn't get into...) I'm not gonna lie... once I just watched the movie instead of reading the book (Lord of the Flies if I remember correctly) but I swear, I did like English... just not the grammar part.
hmmm not sure if I'm the best person to pick up your spirits... maybe waste your precious time is more my forte.... hehe
I'm going to make a prediction that as the days turn into months you'll start to realize that you've gotten into the routine and are enjoying, or at least comfortable with your classes (try to sneak a snack before your third lunch period).
and if all else fails, just take a picture of how miserable each day is at school so we can feel your pain too. :)
love you bunches lauren and I really do hope that your week ends on a bright note. just like this GORGEOUS photo!! :)
so im excited because i STILL remember enough about high school to TOTALLY understand how these things can make fore a less then great start =/ my only advice, which im sure was your first plan, was to just try and make the best of all of it. i hate giving that kid of advice because its not super helpful, but its still good. oh and about the class of kids you will be helping, make sure you praise even the smallest achievements =] sometimes if you are not familiar with people with disabilities and their daily lives its hard to understand how difficult something as simple as picking up the right folder can be.
It gets better--or should I say you will get better and handling it. Consider it a prep for being a grown-up, you don't get many choices then either.
Lovely photo--the golden tones are beautiful.
I would say that you have a pretty grasp of the written English language, with your daily diary on here, of which i do find very interesting as its so different from here in England, your photo's I think have a maturity beyond your years, a very natural ability, photographic wise and in the written word, prpobably a good career suggestion.
Your capture today is as you guys would say 'awesome'....:-))
Lauren-All your concerns are valid. Everyone needs some fun things like lunch and study hall with friends to balance the stressful times. And I don't buy thae standard line that you'll look back on these days as the best times of your life. For some folks, high school is a trauma they never forget. THAT BEING SAID, I don't think your situation is quite so drastic. You have been disappointed because your reality did not match your expectations, but your personality is so upbeat I feel sure you will find the positive in your situation and end up having a very rich and productive year. Please keep us up to date on your journey. I remember my daughter would come home with a dramatic awful tale and I'd sned her off to school the next day, worrying about her, and when she returned she had moved on even though I was still worrying!
Another beautiful shot....despite your rough day. I would be reaching back many years to recall the first day of my Senior year and I had to go to a new school on top of that. You'll adjust and before you know it you'll be in the new routine. Everything happens for a reason even if the reason isn't always apparent right up front. You may not be taking your beloved art class this year, but that will allow you to save up all of your creative juices for your photography...not that you need even more creativity-you're awesome! :) I *love* that you are working with special needs students. My son has special needs and even though he doesn't go to a special day class, he is on an IEP and gets extra help. He speaks so highly of these wonderful people who touch his life and make learning easier and even fun for him. You have a gift to share with these students and you can leave an impression on them. You will most possibly be the one they go home and talk to their parents about. I look forward to hearing more along your Senior Year Journey!! :)
I just read all that and that could and probably will be me on the first day of term :P Man I'm so flippin' scared! >.< On a side note, this is a fantastic, beautiful, calming shot and well done for reaching 200!
Oh Lauren, first days are always rubbish but things can only go up! It will get better and you will adapt and its all just a giant learning curve that never stops really.
Lovely photo at least you always have this to escape to when you are feeling rubbish.
Chin up honey... tomorrow is brand new day :-)
Also, I want to commend you for signing up for peer tutoring. I know that working with mentally disabled students was not what you were expecting, but I hope you understand what wonderful thing you'll be doing for these kids. My mother teaches Special Education. It is an unbelievably hard job, but she's changing their lives for the better.
A lot of these kids have never had a "normal" peer treat them like a human being, or give them the time of day. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to realize that they're more like you than you'd ever imagine. My 16-year-old niece has autism, and while you wouldn't guess it to look at her, she loves a lot of the same things that other kids her age do. She wants people to like her just like other kids her age do. She gets her feelings hurt just like other kids her age do. YOU can make a difference here, Lauren. I just know that you'll rise to the occasion. Best of luck for a great senior year :)
I understand so much of what you are saying, Lauren. I know that first days are hard...and somewhat dissapointing. I am glad that you signed up to be a peer tutor as I do believe you have some skills and abilities to offer to others. Share your gifts with them. They need that more than anything. When is your study hall? Let me know. I might be able to provide you with a somewhat quiet place to work. I hope today was better for you... If I can help in anyway, let me know. I'll do what I can.
Ah, dear Lauren, I was thinking of you today while I was at work. I was thinking of your talent and how fortunate you are to have such sensitivity to life and so much feeling. You see things that others don't - you see beauty and light and life. I wish I could have been like you when I was in HS. I am almost 64 now and am just now learning about photography. Embrace your talent. Enjoy your life! You are an amazing young woman!
I am speechless. juuust totally speechless. you are all too terribly wonderful to leave me with such thoughtful, caring comments. I can't thank you enough. I want to reply to each of you individually and give each of you a great big fat huge attack hug... but I just don't have the time.... I really hope you know how much I appreciate it though :) read each comment and smiled and felt all warm and fuzzy inside.
beautiful shot, lauren. and i'm so sorry that this amazing sr year had to start on a rough note. it's not much, but i have a BA in english, primarily literature. if you ever need a little encouragement or help (especially with shakespeare--one of my faves!!) i'm here! (:
Awwww! I'm sorry your first day wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Hopefully you will settle in soon to a routine and be comfortable, and have tons of fun in your senior year.
Sounds like you do have some tough classes and it's hard to be separated from your good friends. Just thing though, it will give you the opportunity to make new friends!
I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today.
This is the most gorgeous photo.. EVER. The focus is amazing along with the colors! Great contrast! I can't get enough of this photo. You are truly an amazing photographer and I hope you have a better day tomorrow. :)
Beautiful Lauren, but I told you already, looks like caterpillars
I have no comment to make about all your lamenting about the 2nd day of Senior year. You are so lucky , you have so many things going for you, and I could not even go to high school I was so not smart. I adored school but was not a scholar, I was never very smart with History, but I could spell which I am now beginning to have problems with. We were poor I was the eldest of 6 kids, and we made do with hand me downs, and I never knew we were so poor till I was out of school and working while everyone moved on to the high Schools. But I have a full life a wonderful Dh of 49 years, % fab grown up kids who have given us 13 grandchildren and now 1 great grandchildren. I count my Blessings each day and Thank God for the heart he gave me,.
Sure I complain and get cranky about lots of things - your allowed when you get this age, but I never regretted being married young, I didn't feel I missed out by not going to High School, I just wished some time I had not used the negatives in my expressions. I always said "I can't do Maths" I can't do
crochet" I can't sing" " I can't swim".and that is the tip of the iceberg, the more I said I can't - guess that is what it has stayed all these years. Be careful what you say and how it can came back at you.
You are such a beautiful, smart, switched on young lady and I can only say I'm sorry to hear how disappointing the 2 days have been . Would you care to swap lives.?
The good thing about the entire day? You still get to take pictures which make you happy, and, well, make others happy :-)
Great picture, I love the colors, love the sun shining, love the field .... another great job by you!
Joanna - good!! I'm so glad :) thanks!!
Dee - you and Warrent both but a hug smile on my face. you see, this is why I share my feelings with you guys. you really have a way with wrds Dee and you made me feel so much better. thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Amanda - :) :)
Warren - I really hope so... oh but thanks SO much Warren. you always leave me the nicest comment that I feel I could never top on you. I wish I could make you smile the way you make me smile. Your words mean a lot. Thanks for taking time to comment.
And this is a gorgeous pictureee!!
One final not - Congratulations on your 200th post.
I understand about the tutoring thing. At my school we have this program called the A+ Program. Basically, if you meet all the requirements, you get a scholarship for college, but only a few colleges take it. :/ Anyway, I had to do 50 hours of unpaid tutoring to meet the requirement and I was put in a special ed class as well. Completely different world. I didn't know what to expect, but in the end I'm glad I did it. Good luck. I think you'll do great.
The year will get better, just give it time. Just remember to make the most of it, it goes by VERY fast! :D
I'll let you in on a little secret. shhhh ... Way back in the dark ages when I was in college studying education, the professors told us not to smile at our students until Thanksgiving. The reason? It's easier to maintain discipline if you already have it established. After several months of being tough, you can "lighten up" and the students think you're really not so bad after all, maybe even human. However, if a teacher starts out lax and then tries to tighten the discipline reins, the students think she really is a witch and not the nice person they thought she was and they grow resentful and can refuse to follow directions. I know you had this teacher last year, but I think you'll find in a month or two that she may relax a little.
Good luck with everything! It sounds like you are going to have a lot of new experiences and that can be a little daunting. You are strong, intelligent and creative. Just take a deep breath, square your shoulders and meet each challenge head on. All you can do is try your best. Things usually work out, even the unexpected challenges.
p.s. Don't worry about writing papers ... look at the novel you just wrote. ;-p
amazing shot! :)
lunch was always a big deal too.... I would always be so worried that my friends wouldn't be there (we only had two lunches, but it was still a major concern). I know one year I was pretty much alone... it kind of sucked at first, but I do enjoy a good people watch, so that was entertaining... eventually I chose to sit with some worthy enough group..hahaha
oh I remember study hall - mine was held in the cafeteria. it was so easy to get distracted because I could watch people walking around outside... but it was a great time to get my homework done, so I was grateful for it... even if it did smell like cafeteria food...
I hope you enjoy your web design class. I'm actually looking to take a bunch of those type of web design classes - you'll have to let me know how it goes. It may be kind of boring, but if it is just a beginner class, try to soak in as much as you can, when you are in college it will help you tons.
I liked english... so can't help you there... although I'm such a procrastinator... really... soooo bad... I'd start to read the book... put it down... pick it up a few days later... wing the pop quiz... read a few more pages... and then speed read the night before the test (some books I just couldn't get into...) I'm not gonna lie... once I just watched the movie instead of reading the book (Lord of the Flies if I remember correctly) but I swear, I did like English... just not the grammar part.
hmmm not sure if I'm the best person to pick up your spirits... maybe waste your precious time is more my forte.... hehe
I'm going to make a prediction that as the days turn into months you'll start to realize that you've gotten into the routine and are enjoying, or at least comfortable with your classes (try to sneak a snack before your third lunch period).
and if all else fails, just take a picture of how miserable each day is at school so we can feel your pain too. :)
love you bunches lauren and I really do hope that your week ends on a bright note. just like this GORGEOUS photo!! :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Lovely photo--the golden tones are beautiful.
Your capture today is as you guys would say 'awesome'....:-))
Lovely photo at least you always have this to escape to when you are feeling rubbish.
Chin up honey... tomorrow is brand new day :-)
Also, I want to commend you for signing up for peer tutoring. I know that working with mentally disabled students was not what you were expecting, but I hope you understand what wonderful thing you'll be doing for these kids. My mother teaches Special Education. It is an unbelievably hard job, but she's changing their lives for the better.
A lot of these kids have never had a "normal" peer treat them like a human being, or give them the time of day. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to realize that they're more like you than you'd ever imagine. My 16-year-old niece has autism, and while you wouldn't guess it to look at her, she loves a lot of the same things that other kids her age do. She wants people to like her just like other kids her age do. She gets her feelings hurt just like other kids her age do. YOU can make a difference here, Lauren. I just know that you'll rise to the occasion. Best of luck for a great senior year :)
Sounds like you do have some tough classes and it's hard to be separated from your good friends. Just thing though, it will give you the opportunity to make new friends!
I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today.
I have no comment to make about all your lamenting about the 2nd day of Senior year. You are so lucky , you have so many things going for you, and I could not even go to high school I was so not smart. I adored school but was not a scholar, I was never very smart with History, but I could spell which I am now beginning to have problems with. We were poor I was the eldest of 6 kids, and we made do with hand me downs, and I never knew we were so poor till I was out of school and working while everyone moved on to the high Schools. But I have a full life a wonderful Dh of 49 years, % fab grown up kids who have given us 13 grandchildren and now 1 great grandchildren. I count my Blessings each day and Thank God for the heart he gave me,.
Sure I complain and get cranky about lots of things - your allowed when you get this age, but I never regretted being married young, I didn't feel I missed out by not going to High School, I just wished some time I had not used the negatives in my expressions. I always said "I can't do Maths" I can't do
crochet" I can't sing" " I can't swim".and that is the tip of the iceberg, the more I said I can't - guess that is what it has stayed all these years. Be careful what you say and how it can came back at you.
You are such a beautiful, smart, switched on young lady and I can only say I'm sorry to hear how disappointing the 2 days have been . Would you care to swap lives.?