I've not had a good evening, and I'm not feeling great.
I had Beavers and we have a load of new Beavers and none of them would listen and it just made me feel like absolute crap. I'm not looking forward to this term at all. We hardly had any leaders tonight (2 leaders to 17 Beavers) and it was just awful.
I'm struggling a lot with change. So much has changed in the last couple of months and I really do not handle change very well...at all. I've coped with it relatively well...for me...but it's really beginning to get to me. The uncertainty and instability is destroying the strength and confidence I've built up in the last few months. I feel as though I'm suspended and I need something to hold on to...but there isn't anything to hold onto because everything has changed and nothing is familiar. Nothing comforts me. The only things I have that really are still familiar are the teddies I hold every night.
I know that I will get over this and I know it's just something else I have to face but I'm so tired of facing everything and it seems like it's one thing after another recently and I could really do with a break, but I can't see one coming.
I don't want to fall back into my old ways because I know they're bad for me and I know I changed for a reason and I know I'm 'better' now then I was then...but I almost feel like it's inevitable and that scares me because I do not, under any cicumstances, want to go back to where I was a year ago.
I'm also worrying about anything and everything. I can't stop worrying. I worry about my friends, myself, my weight, my family, I sometimes even worry about fictional characters on TV shows for crying out loud! I need to stop worrying because it's tying my head in knots and stopping me from sleeping and from eating properly and from concentrating in lessons as much as I should...which will lead to more worry and anxiety when it comes to exam time. And I really need to stop worrying about worrying...because that's just ironic!
Sorry for the massively longgg rant, but I really needed to get stuff out there :/ I just wish I felt safe and stable somewhere and had something to hold on to which was familiar.
Your photo and comments are so touching, Naomi. Sounds like you're really struggling with a ton of stuff. Do you have anyone that you can go see that can help you, to talk to? Journaling also helps me a lot. Know that your friends on 365 care about you and are here for you. I am here!!! We could exchange email addresses and talk that way if you like. Just know that I have been there, and it passes, and I care about you. Sending you hugs, sweetie.
aww Naomi, I love you so much! and you know that! I'm always here for you and you know where to find me. We both know that we don't want you going back to where you were a year ago, just try as hard as you can to focus on the positive things in life and what they have to offer you. Things will all settle down soon enough, it's just hard to handle at the moment because you're at sixth form now, and there's just so much going on. So just hang on to hope, things will setlle soon enough.
btw, I LOVE the emotion in the photo! You have a gift for capturing feelings. :)
Have a wonderful rest of the day love!
Well you may feel down but it did not stop your creativity. You have an amazing eye for capturing a photo that expresses raw emotion. This is a great photo. I will keep positive thoughts for you and tomorrow is a new day. Keep the focus on capturing the world with your camera. You have great talent.
everything will turn out ok, and its normal to feel like that, just keep thinking about your future, and what you would like to work towards. convert the negative feelings and energy into something positive! you will be just fine soon, i'm sure of it :)
p.s i have alot of sympathy for you at your beavers class, i used to co-run a gymnastics class with 14 3-5 year olds, but i survived, and you will to :)
Change isn't easy. Don't try to think of everything all at once, but rather one day at a time. I don't want you to convince yourself that you can't handle it when you can. You've come so far...and you know that you have so much to offer just keep holding onto that and one day at a time. I wish I could say that things will get better and easier, but I can't say that...all that I can say is that you have the inner strength inside of you to handle anything that comes your way. Hugs!
Naomi, this is a wonderful, expressive image. It sounds like you are really struggling right now. Do you have someone you can go to with your struggles? If you don't feel safe, please reach out to someone you can trust and tell them what you are going through.
Change is scary, but at the end of it you will make it through, and you'll better for it. :) I think speaking to people (with whom you're comfortable, of course) about how you feel is one of the best things to do - they can offer advice and a different perspective, and sometimes even just hearing it out loud, and not from inside your own head, helps. In the meantime, be nice to yourself. :) Treat yourself to things, don't be hard on yourself, and (most important of all xD) keep taking beautiful photos. :)
Oh, Naomi, I wish I could sit with you awhile and give you the hug and friendship you seem to need. With the hindsight that comes with years, you're amidst trying times with your school years, but you'll look back and remember them as wonderful times, too. It's just hard to see that when it's ongoing. Just know you have a friend, here, thinking of you. I, too, am short on time as I should be packing, but I wanted to say hi and wish you the best. Keep looking forward, and good luck!
hope you got some relief from purging all of that my dear. a lovely shot, nontheless...so moody and evocative. what are beavers, rhough? forgive me.... i hope that you are able to push through. times can be tough...and i know that it can be hard to take constant hits... keep your head up precious... it'll all work out! blessings....
another fantastic composition.. you are very talented! Change is difficult to deal with
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Maria Robinson
Hope this helps
be strong Naomi:). i know it's not easy, facing changes. but pls remember that you're not the only one having to face that:). there are many people who are in the same shoes as yours (maybe in worse shoes:)). and if they can make it, so can you:). return to God for strenght is always the best thing to do. try to get closed to your families and friends, they'll be there for you:).
on one of my birthdays, my mother gave me a tiny little book of a collection of quotation. the kind she gave me is 'a little book of relaxation'. there are so many wisdom words in there that can help you ease your problem..juuuuust a little bit:). my favorite quotation is 'there's not a worry in the world worth the worry'. and it's on the last page of the book. so i display it in my kitchen, in front of the sink (as i spend most of my time in the kitchen:)), so that i can always see it and remind myself not to worry:).
btw, I LOVE the emotion in the photo! You have a gift for capturing feelings. :)
Have a wonderful rest of the day love!
p.s i have alot of sympathy for you at your beavers class, i used to co-run a gymnastics class with 14 3-5 year olds, but i survived, and you will to :)
Change is scary, but at the end of it you will make it through, and you'll better for it. :) I think speaking to people (with whom you're comfortable, of course) about how you feel is one of the best things to do - they can offer advice and a different perspective, and sometimes even just hearing it out loud, and not from inside your own head, helps. In the meantime, be nice to yourself. :) Treat yourself to things, don't be hard on yourself, and (most important of all xD) keep taking beautiful photos. :)
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Maria Robinson
Hope this helps
on one of my birthdays, my mother gave me a tiny little book of a collection of quotation. the kind she gave me is 'a little book of relaxation'. there are so many wisdom words in there that can help you ease your problem..juuuuust a little bit:). my favorite quotation is 'there's not a worry in the world worth the worry'. and it's on the last page of the book. so i display it in my kitchen, in front of the sink (as i spend most of my time in the kitchen:)), so that i can always see it and remind myself not to worry:).
i hope this help Naomi. take care:)!