When a guy I know invited me to go take pictures with him at the botanical gardens, I said, "sounds fun." Up in Indy our botanical gardens are indoors surrounded by glass and butterflies that flit from blossom to blossom. I thought that it would be fun to get some shots of the pretty flowers. I get there and it is outside!!! Who had ever heard of a garden outside in nature?!?!?!?
So I am there minding my own business taking pictures and all of the sudden I step and the ground beside my foot moves. It was a freaking snake people! Now before I go into the next bit of this harrowing tale I need to tell you that I am terrified of snakes.
So there I was in the slow motion world where you have just seen a snake next to your foot and realized that it is in fact the largest snake in the Northern Hemisphere and could possibly be related to Godzilla if it had feet, and so I do what any normal person would do. I grabbed the large man that had accompanied me there and literally threw him at the snake. I know I am little but snakes give me She-hulk car flipping strength! I am dead serious when I say that I moved a man almost twice my size and threw him towards the snake. Then I took off screaming and hyperventilating! He gets to where I ran off too and tries to calm me down and walk me up towards the path and I yell at him some very important safety information..."are you kidding me!?!?! We can't walk through the grass!!!! That is where they liiiiiiive!!!!" He managed to get me up to a fenced in area and I sat down shaking and he says, "You threw me at the snake." He said it in disbelief, as if he was slightly offended I had sacrificed him to the snake monster. I calmly replied, "I would throw my own human baby at a snake to get away from it! What don't you understand about me being terrified of snakes? It is nothing personal, I just have a strong will to survive." Well, after that he spent the rest of the time scanning the ground back tot he main area for snakes so he wouldn't be physically assaulted by me fleeing the scene. He later commented that he had seen guys get shot at and remain more calm than that. I responded that unless they were being shot by snakes, there was no comparison.
I think that he learned a lot about life that day but the most important thing was that it is a bad idea to take me into nature and that I have no qualms about sacrificing anyone or anything using my freakish fear fueled strength to get away from a reptile.