They are clever, gentle, polite, articulate and loving boys. They have their bad points, but they are kids, so they are learning their way.
This is my youngest son, Ben.
Ben was born with a congenital heart problem called Tetralogy of Fallot.
In his 13 years, he has undergone major open heart surgery three times, the last being at the start of January 2011. At some point in the future, he faces the prospect of further surgery.
Every time he undergoes surgery, his breastbone is sawn open, and his heart stopped. The scars will be with him forever, but they are only skin deep. Mentally, he is tougher than me.
Ben is an example to us all. He has accepted the hand he was dealt, and has the most sunny disposition and positive outlook on life. He is my hero..
The three days that he has undergone surgery were the worst and best days of my life.
We are thankful every day to the surgeons, anaesthetists, nurses and consultants that have cared for Ben.
This is a very personal post for me, it has taken me many months to decide whether to take and post this photograph, and I have only done so with Ben's permission.
PP 23rd November 2012
Home Page 24th November 2012
Very moving photo. I must fav it as my nephew has gone through a very similar situation in the last 12 months and faces further surgery when he is older, he has just turned 3.
As a mother of two boys this post is incredibly moving.
Not only for your son's braveness in relation to his condition and his giving you permission to post this photograph, but also because it make me put into perspective the very raw and current 'teenage issues' we are going through with our eldest. I need to step back, look at the big picture and count my blessings.
To use a phrase that I am far too long in the tooth to even think about using - respect!
Ben will be made up that he has been faved. I find perspective to be a strange thing. There is always someone worse off, and when we are in the bubble that is the times he is in hospital, it is easy to look around and find people for whom that is the case. With my kids, even on the days when they are teenagers, it has taught me one simple lesson, and that is always to stand alongside them when there are issues, never opposite them. I hope you get my meaning there.
Good luck with your "issues" and thankyou for your considered and kind words.
Respect! For your sun and for you. Being a heart patient I think I can understand a bit the fear you are all going through. I find it very brave and moving that you posted this.
@hasselhotch Thank you David. My heart goes out to your family. It is far more common that you think. Whenever we are in hospital, I am always humbled by the stoicism of the children.
Good luck to your nephew and his family. I hope they have the same wonderful surgeons that we've had, and their situation can become a positive in their lives. Thanks for the fav, as I said to Jan, Ben will be made up!
This is beautiful! You know I used to love shinny new things, perfect things with no flaws. You know the attitude, throw away the scratched or tainted. Now I love the scratches and tainted, they usually have a story, a life. Nothing is perfect in this world and I wouldn't want it to be. Those who go through the worst of life also appreciate the best in life. This young man has endured so much, so young and he now carries a strength not many ever find. Thanks for sharing this very personal photograph, in sharing it you have given more than you realise.
@grizzlysghost Thanks Aaron. My reticence to take and post this very personal photo has already been dispelled. I am grateful for your sentiment, and Ben will be thrilled that he has a hat trick of favs.
@hjv Thanks Hubregt. To discover that you have another thing on common with my family is very moving. Your respect is accepted and reciprocated back across the North Sea.
@sugarmuser Thank you Sharon. I am at my desk typing with tears in my eyes at yours and the other comments this very personal post has received. Beauty is all around us. We only have to open our eyes to see it.
Sean,your brave son Ben wears his badge of honour well & you must be incredibly proud of him.
Modern medicine is a wonderful thing & aren't we so grateful for that!!
I have always admired how open you are about the love & pride you have in both your sons & now I see why, you have learnt to seize the moment!!! A fave for Ben.
What a beautiful and moving photo and story. Your family must be so strong to go through such things. It is brave for you to talk about it, and it is always brave for someone to show their scars. They tell a story of strength and love and in that way they have a kind of beauty. This photo is definitely a fav x
Great photo of Ben - my husband had the same type of scars - he developed cardiomyopathy and ended up having a heart transplant 17 years ago. Now my daughter after her second baby is being investigated as they think she may be developing this also and will face a transplant in the future. As well her 3 year old, Mikey, has ALL leukemia - he has been receiving chemo 2 x week in clinic plus meds daily and will continue for another 1 1/2 years (has had almost 1 year of treatment) - he has a great sense of humor and is quite brave - and during the time he started his treatments, his baby sister Quinnie was born - thanks for sharing sean
This is an awesome portrait! Beautiful words you have written too, Sean. You are a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. You are the real deal and it's such a pleasure to have met you here. Your sons are really lucky and they will grow into men just like you. You have made the world a better place for 2 lucky people who will one day be their partners (if they so wish to have one lol).
That is one brave and strong young man. Your story of his trials was so very moving, and clearly your family truly knows what 'Thankful' means.
Most of us don't know how we will handle such terrible times until we are in the midst of it, but I hope I can show even a portion of the strength your son has.
Thank you Sewn for sharing Ben's story. Really moving. No wonder he is your hero. I had toraxic surgery to remove a huge malignant tumor between my lungs, but I was lucky that it was robotic surgery. I mention it so you consider it for a future surgery. It is not so invasive and the recuperation is much faster.
I am not going to try to say all I am feeling - I will just mention the bravery, defiance and dignity which shines out of this amazing shot of your son Ben. Ben, I don't know you, but you are great!
Great portrait of Ben. The lighting is perfect. It was lovely to read your words, and to see your pride in your sons. It is especially nice to see you express these thoughts out loud, as I think too many men aren't good at talking about their feelings. Your boys are lucky to have a dad who obviously loves and cares for them so much, which gives them the best possible start in life.
Prayers from my family go out to your son and to your family. God knows all you've been going through. Tell your son that he is not alone... my yougest brother has a heart condition, not the same as yours but still has a problem. Every time he goes off into surgery we all have to treat him the same, hoping he will be in our mothers hand by the end of the day. Prayers really do help.
I have leukemia and Lyme Disease. They both are bad but... well there is no but! I haven't lost my hair yet, but the doctors have said that the lyme is keeping my hair in place. I have to go through tics everyday, that have caused me to break my wrist, and choke on my food! I pass out maybe 3 times a day, and have to be brought to the hospital once a week. The hospital that I have to go to is 14 hours from my house, and I go on Wednesday, causing me to miss school. I also have vocal outburst that make me whistle like a bird, made me say "hey", make me grunt, and say "no".
Don't take this the wrong way, bcause your son is far worse than me! I really do think he is.
@ozziehoffy Rock and roll Cassandra, I spotted it this morning, he was chuffed, in his usual understated way. A little smile at me and a "that's cool!" I will reply to everybody's wonderful comments probably tomorrow. What I will say now is, you know me well, I do wear my heart on my sleeve, when the time is right. Though it is virtual, I feel that I have a great friendship with you, and it is one of the big positives from my 365. x
I saw this last night Sean and didn't want to just glibly bash out a comment.... I have been thinking about this photo, about Ben's condition and how worried and scared you and Rebecca, as parents, must have felt and feel at times. I know how gut wrenching and immoblising it is when someone you love is ill or undergoing surgery/treatment in hospital. But Ben looks a stoic and brave young man and has not let his condition deter him from as normal a life as he can have. You sound a very upfront and caring man Sean, someone who has taught his sons well, they are very fortunate boys, you all have - as you say- a lot to be thankful for. I was not sure that it was right to 'fav' this, but I have done so for your heartfelt and searingly honest comments and Ben's vulnerability and trust portrayed here.
Oh my Sean, I just saw this. What a wonderful picture, and such a moving and inspirational story. No family should have to be put through watching Their child be sick, but I think it will make you stronger.
I think the saddest part with kids being sick is that it takes some of their innocence away. I will pray for Ben that he continues to be strong, and for your family as well.
What a truly amazing family you all are, facing danger certainly brings one closer and you sound such a close knit family. So brave of Ben to let you post this, I take my hat off to him, you have created a very powerful, moving image...well done all of you..........+fav
Beautiful post, and what an amazing young man he is. I have always said scars are life's tattoos that really tell a story.. And his is an awesome story.
What a handsome looking young man - does he take after his father then? :) It's also a great photo in many ways, the lighting is great and the black and white contrasts work really well. Best of all is Ben's expression, obviously I don't know him but to me it says 'This is me'. He looks confidently into the camera and that really makes you think. Being a parent opens you up to so many feelings - the best but also the potential for the worst when your child is under threat. Thankyou to you and Ben for posting this. There's not many images that make you stop and really think. x
This is such a beautiful portrait and an amazing story. So much honesty and strength in that face. I don't think any photo has brought a tear to my eyes on here but this one did. I have 2 boys too and often have this irrational fear that something may happen to them. Your family's courage is admirable and an example to live life to the fullest.
Well done on this beautiful portrait
Wow, what a brave and moving post and photo. You are strong and amazing people. Hope Ben continues to have good health and good fortune. What an amazing portrait.
On one hand this breaks my heart. On the other, I see such strength in him that it is very uplifting. I'm glad you posted it. What an awesome portrait! Fav.
what a beautiful tribute to your son , sean...such a loving father...is blessed with two wonderful sons...teach them the way..and they shall not wander...i just love what you said...he is your hero...that speaks volumes..FAV and congrats on the P.P. and Home Page..Gods Blessings..
It's great that he feels confident enough to show the scars, a lot of people become so self conscious of them but I think they should be celebrated as reminders of who we are and how we got to today, if that makes sense.
This photo, and your words, are an excellent reminder to us all of things to be thankful for as well as cherishing the important things and remembering that there is always someone is a worse situation.
I'm glad this made the PP as it's a very worthy photo.
Im so moved by this photo. Your son is amazing for all that he has gone through in his 13 years. God bless you and your family. Also tell him thank you for letting you share with us. A fav for me.
thanks for the reminder Sean...that was the reason i came to the shot in the first place..i just love it! i will try and resend today you can delete your e-mail if you want to ..i wrote it down. Thanks..but i think i found out the problem i was spelling your last name with just one L...at the end...my eyesight is terrible and i refuse to wear the reading glasses as they make me so dizzy!
heartrending. . .I appreciate so much that you - and Ben - felt that you had the ability to share this with us. This kind of shared experience is, I think, what helps other people in our world walk through the trials and tribulations they are handed. Bravo to all of you. . .and especially to young Ben in his courage and steadfastness.
what a great portrait Sean and you brought tears to my eyes...what a brave and good looking boy - always amazes me those who have far tougher times in life than maybe we ever will - and are so stoic and happy with their lot. thanks you both for sharing this
As a mum of 2 myself this post really struck a chord. Like you say the scars are only skin deep, but also a reminder to you all of what a brave, fighter of a son you have, and how lucky you are to have him. Keep fighting Ben.
What a brave son you have and I hope his postiveness takes him beyond his wildest dreams. Good luck with the future and I think this is a very couragous shot and you've certainly done him justice.
Such a fabulous picture and thankyou for sharing - I have previously posted pictures that carried a lot of emotional significance, and the positive reaction from other 365ers has really meant a great deal to me.
Sean this is a wonderful photo & Ben should be a hero in everyone's eyes! Also man, he is going to have to beat the girls off in a couple of years time :)
@happypat Thank you Pat, my own parents lack of love and affection for me taught me that lesson, and i think it is so important to make children feel secure and loved. Thanks for faving Ben. The reaction to this photo and post makes us both feel 10ft tall.
@strachs Thank you Sarah, he wears his scars as a badge of honour and has always been very open about his life. I think it helps him a lot. Thanks for the fave, it means such a lot on a shot like this.
@ruthhowell Gosh Ruth what a tough time your family has had and continues to have. I feel blessed reading about your family. It is true, the grass is rarely greener on the other side of the fence. I wish you and your family the strength and courage that you will need, and especially a strong recovery for Mikey.
@ozziehoffy You know me well Cassandra, I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, I think it was my upbringing which lacked love and affection. I am determined to give my own children the opportunities denied to me, and teaching them that showing your feelings is a good thing is one of them. I can truly say likewise, that it has been one of my 365 highlights to have met you and become a good friend. Closed hand heart thingie back at you my dear friend. X
@seanoneill You put tears in my eyes, Sean. I think that there is some soul mate friendship across the waters with you and I. So many similarities with life that it's probably why we "get it". Your boys and wife are lucky to have you in their lives :)
@pasadenarose Thank you for such a thoughtful response and for your PP congratulations too. When it happens to you, the only way is to just get on with it, and it certainly gives you strength, ben particularly. We have so many reasons to be thankful for every day. Made up means very pleased!
@tishpics Thank youi Pat, I have lots of bad points too, you just don't see them on 365! But Ben is a joy to have as a son, even as he starts his teenage years. You can see from this and other shots how much I love Ben, Sam and Rebecca. You are right, he is defiant, and he does have great dignity. Thank you so much, your well thought out words mean so much to me. You are a good friend already.
@centermd Thank you Micah, I am takingh my time over a few days to reply personally to everyone who posted. I saw your post and I was very grateful to hear from someone who is young and faces their own challenge in life. It was very sad to read about your brother, and yes you are so right. We all are so helpless when they are in theatre, the worst thing I have ever had to do in my life is say goodbye to him in the anaesthetic room, so you and your parents will know what I mean there. You are a very brave young man who has had to cope with so much himself and grow up quickly. I salute you Sir Micah, you are awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your story and sending me and Ben some of your bravery. You are what we say over here, a Top Man!! We all wish you the best of health and the strength to cope with your illnesses.
@seanoneill Thanks! I am still praying for your son Ben. Also still praying for myself. Thanks too for the support and for the good encourage ment. It was much needed.
@jackie8 Thank you for your post Jackie. I am touched so much that you thought to mull over your response to my photo and comments. It is very moving. You are right, I am scared to the core when his surgery approaches but try not to show him that. Ben is stoic, and has the brightest outlook on life, which has made me appreciate life more. When you have a child with health issues, you have to be philosophical and realise that there is always someone worse off. For now, I cherish every day with my beautiful family. I am a lucky chap.
@reneeevans21 Thank you Renee. I have since read about your son Owen, and this makes your comments about Ben so poignant indeed. My heart goes out to you all, and you are all very much in our thoughts. Take care.
@fannyb Thank you Fanny. You are always so supportive of me, my project and my family, and I am eternally grateful. Your response means so very much to me. I am overhwelmed by the overall response to this photograph, it will stay with me forever.
@cheribug Thank you Cheryl, too true. He wears his scars as a badge of honour without doubt. Ben's story is one of courage without doubt, and he is an example to us without a doubt. He is also very lucky, because so many children are much are worse off.
Oh wow. Very moving post and extremely moving photograph. Thank you for sharing Sean. I hope young Ben continues to get stronger and continues to be your hero! Kudos.
Sean.....outstanding. Bravo. Its an honorable thing you've done here, by sharing his story. This capture portrays so many emotions. Wonderfully captured. We're not taught how to be great fathers. We start out only knowing that we have to be strong, caring and protective of our children. We soon learn though, that most of that strength comes from our own children's courage and strength. Fav.
Oh I missed this one!!!!! What a wonderful portrait!! Beautifully done Sean. I understand a little of what you say as we have a little 4 year old in the family who has had the first surgery......it's a long road. seems you have two wonderful boys, and they have a pretty sterling dad too! Congrats on #3!!!!!
Wow, thanks for sharing. I can't imagine what that must be like for a parent. He looks like an amazing person. God Bless to you all and have a wonderful Christmas.
Oh my goodness Sean, I have only seen this post now. How incredibly strong your beautiful boy is, and I don't think anyone can imagine what your family has been through with every operation. Thank you for this beautiful photo and very personal and moving post; you are a dad in a million!
Well, you just made me cry.
God bless Sean. I see the strength in him and know he will be just fine. Prayers for all of you. I can surely see why this was a struggle for you - but the shot and the boy are both winners.
Incredible story and photo... I love the way you lit the photo to create what you've got here. It's a beautiful portrait and one I'm sure he'll treasure always :)
I've just now had time to come and look at the top 20 and so have just seen this portrait of Ben. Thank you both for sharing Ben's story and congratulations on No. 3! Both the portrait and Ben's willingness to share it with us are beautiful.
I am really sorry I missed this one Sean. This is such a superb, touching and incredibly meaningful portrait. I have so much respect, admiration and love for Ben, you and your gorgeous family. You are so blessed to have your sons and your sons are so blessed to have you. Massive FAV not only because of your wonderful portrait of Ben, but because this is such a powerful, touching and beautiful. Much love to you all!!
That is a very moving post so much so it moved me to tears. My daughter died 20 days after she was born so I think the mention of hospitals and operations and knowing what it's like to stand by and wait, as a parent is something I understand. Your respect for your sons is wonderful, with two children at 3+1/2 and 1 I can't wait for our relationships to blossom.
I came across your work via one of your lovely Bokeh shots and look forward to the rest of your year as I follow. Thank you for sharing.
Beautiful and moving portrait. Very powerful. Excellent in so many ways. Ben, you're an amazing human being. Sean, you are blessed. Thank you both for sharing this photo and story. I am moved. Major fav from me.
I saw this earlier and tried to comment, but I felt speechless. As a parent I can only imagine all of the emotions you have felt through it all from sheer terror to immense pride. Your son is amazing and lucky to have parents who love and support him like you do.
I saw this on the all time favourite topic and had to fav it myself. Your words only strengthen that.
Your youngest shares a name with my eldest. My days of sitting in a hospital hoping for the best outcomes for my children are hopefully now behind me, I hopethat you don't need to endure many more of them and that Ben is able to lives a full and healthy life without the worry of future surgery.
A beautiful portrait and a beautiful model
posted January 20th, 2013
Leave a Comment
Sign up for a free account or Sign in to post a comment.
Not only for your son's braveness in relation to his condition and his giving you permission to post this photograph, but also because it make me put into perspective the very raw and current 'teenage issues' we are going through with our eldest. I need to step back, look at the big picture and count my blessings.
To use a phrase that I am far too long in the tooth to even think about using - respect!
Oh yes, and Fav!
Ben will be made up that he has been faved. I find perspective to be a strange thing. There is always someone worse off, and when we are in the bubble that is the times he is in hospital, it is easy to look around and find people for whom that is the case. With my kids, even on the days when they are teenagers, it has taught me one simple lesson, and that is always to stand alongside them when there are issues, never opposite them. I hope you get my meaning there.
Good luck with your "issues" and thankyou for your considered and kind words.
Good luck to your nephew and his family. I hope they have the same wonderful surgeons that we've had, and their situation can become a positive in their lives. Thanks for the fav, as I said to Jan, Ben will be made up!
Modern medicine is a wonderful thing & aren't we so grateful for that!!
I have always admired how open you are about the love & pride you have in both your sons & now I see why, you have learnt to seize the moment!!! A fave for Ben.
Most of us don't know how we will handle such terrible times until we are in the midst of it, but I hope I can show even a portion of the strength your son has.
I have leukemia and Lyme Disease. They both are bad but... well there is no but! I haven't lost my hair yet, but the doctors have said that the lyme is keeping my hair in place. I have to go through tics everyday, that have caused me to break my wrist, and choke on my food! I pass out maybe 3 times a day, and have to be brought to the hospital once a week. The hospital that I have to go to is 14 hours from my house, and I go on Wednesday, causing me to miss school. I also have vocal outburst that make me whistle like a bird, made me say "hey", make me grunt, and say "no".
Don't take this the wrong way, bcause your son is far worse than me! I really do think he is.
I think the saddest part with kids being sick is that it takes some of their innocence away. I will pray for Ben that he continues to be strong, and for your family as well.
Well done on this beautiful portrait
I've never heard the term 'made up' before, but I assume it's comparable to 'jazzed'. Rightly so.
This photo, and your words, are an excellent reminder to us all of things to be thankful for as well as cherishing the important things and remembering that there is always someone is a worse situation.
I'm glad this made the PP as it's a very worthy photo.
Wonderful photo, excellent mood - fav
Absolute FAV :)
God bless Sean. I see the strength in him and know he will be just fine. Prayers for all of you. I can surely see why this was a struggle for you - but the shot and the boy are both winners.
My number one favourite photo on 365! FAV!!
I came across your work via one of your lovely Bokeh shots and look forward to the rest of your year as I follow. Thank you for sharing.
Your youngest shares a name with my eldest. My days of sitting in a hospital hoping for the best outcomes for my children are hopefully now behind me, I hopethat you don't need to endure many more of them and that Ben is able to lives a full and healthy life without the worry of future surgery.
A beautiful portrait and a beautiful model