Today was a traumatizing day. I got to witness a wild turkey getting run down by a moron who wasn't paying attention to the road because she was too busy holding her cell phone with one hand and a cigarette with the other. No wonder she hit the poor thing at full speed, tried to herd it out from under her car by rolling slowly toward it as it fluttered and panicked trying to get away, and then swerved around it and drove off as soon as it managed to drag itself to the middle of the road and collapsed. I saw it all from the oncoming lane of traffic and almost burst into tears when I saw it looking around for help, opening and closing its beak while calling out. The whole time I was on the phone with the police its knocked loose feathers were blowing across the road and by the time I hung up it had curled up and stopped moving. What a crappy way to go and all because someone just had to have that important phone conversation while driving.

My only consolation is that the goofy book I'm reading about zombie raccoons features a story about a critter who comes back from the dead to exact revenge on the human who wronged it. I can only hope that woman gets a visit from a zombie turkey while she sleeps tonight.