Today's lockdown project had a serious purpose. I went up into the loft to find some old photos. This one is of my brother, Mick, (who died last year) me in the middle and my cousin, Carol, on the right. Carol is 4 years older than me and she has dementia. She was an only child and we all lived in the same village so we spent a lot of time together when we were young. A while ago I found a couple of old photos of us with our grandma so I made copies and sent them to Carol. To me that was just a little thing but to Carol it was huge. I talk to her every week, conversation is limited but she always mentions the photos. She has them by her bed apparently. Anyway I knew I had a box of my mother's photos up in the loft so today I decided to try and find them. I found the box and quite a few photos of us as children which I've scanned, enhanced as much as possible, and printed. This is one of them. I'll post them to her tomorrow.
All Carol wants to talk about is when we were young and it occurred to me that I'm the only person in the whole world who can share those memories. I have lots of cousins on my Mum's side of the family but Carol and I are the only ones left on my Dad's side. Carol has no other relatives except her husband, son and grandson. I can't do much to help Carol or her husband during these difficult times when visits are not allowed but I talk to her every week. I know she'll be happy when she gets the photos.
It’s funny but I was talking to my son today reliving memories of my childhood and the role of my grandparents. Memories are wonderful to look back on and this is a lovely photo of you all. I have a photo in my bedroom of me as a toddler with my brother who is 6 years older
I believe sending the photos and talking about people and times she remembers is a huge help both to Carol and her other relatives. You are doing so much good.
So good to be able to cling to memories - even with dementia - the past can sometimes be a blessing - Well done Sue - I am sure the photos mean the world to Carol !
People living with dementia tend to have quite good long term memories. They often can’t remember what they did five minutes ago, but something from forty years ago may be very clear. I’m sure she’ll love the photos. My eldest brother was diagnosed last year. I haven’t seen him for a year now, so not too sure how he is. My sister in law tells me, but I would like to be able to make my own assessment.
Oh well done Sue I am sure she will be thrilled. My pal Elizabeth has dementia and we often talk about times when she was younger because her memory of that is still quite sharp. She can't remember what happened on the days I visit but we have lots of old tales to share.
I have heard that people with dementia often remember the distant past more vividly than the recent past. I hope that your photos will bring back those happy times to her. The mind is such a strange thing and sometimes we can’t fix things but all we can do is support loved ones in whatever way works for them.
You are doing something very special with your cousin. My mother had dementia but was able to recognize people in old photos. Events that happened recently could not be remembered but she remembered most things from her past.
Oh Sue, you have given Carol so very much...happy memories & she has a talking point now when you ring her..& she can look at those photos. A beautiful thought.
That's wonderful of you Sue - I'm sure your cousin will be so pleased as the photos will mean a lot to her. Do hope you can visit her soon as I'm sure that will fantastic for her.
Beautiful picture and you did a good job with your edit. This must bring you and Carol many happy memories. God bless you for keeping regular contact with Carol even in these difficult times especially for her.
What a lovely picture and happy memories. A job well done. I still have boxes of old family photos to go through, just cant get the enthusiasm right now.
@rosiekind@mave@julzmaioro@beryl@carole_sandford@gijsje@moirab@onewing@gardencat@dutchothotmailcom@djclow@happysnaps@gilbertwood@sangwann@merrelyn@susie1205 Thank you all so very much for your lovely thoughtful comments. My cousin has vascular dementia and the future doesn’t look good. She has deteriorated a lot during the past year without the stimulation of her friends and activities. We have long chats and Carol is reminding me of things in the past that I’d completely forgotten. She just doesn’t remember anything from recent years, or even what happened yesterday. She loved the old photos I sent and we spent a long time discussing them. I must find more.
March 11th, 2021
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