First and foremost - this is a journal for me. I am giving the link to my sons so that someday they may better understand their mother. I hope they will consider it a gift.
Last week we had a memorial service for your Dad. It went really well and he would have approved. We planned it at the nursing home so that Grandma could attend - but that didn't work out. It was sort of impromptu in that we had to set the chairs up. We did it outside - he would have loved that. Folks talked about him in kind and loving ways. Afterwords we went back to work on all of the "stuff" that comes for those left behind. And you did it with grace - never a cross word or a disagreement. I'm so proud of the men that you have become.
Now, Grandma is dying. It is hard work - for her and for those of us watching and trying to say our goodbyes. The Braden family has been hit by so much grief - so many decisions. I loved her, too. These last years, since my mother died, she has become my "little old lady." We all need one. Someone to talk to, ask advice and share the hard stuff - and the joy. She taught me how to diaper a baby and give a bath. Lately, she has taught me how strong a woman can be while keeping a loving heart.
When the end comes for me, if I am not blessed like your Dad to just go, don't take extraordinary measures to keep me here. I've told you both this, it is in writing in my Living Will and now here, also. I've been talking to the good Lord for a long time now about an "off" switch. I hope I have one. Let me go to Fairy Land. I'm pretty sure that heaven has loved ones and flowers - oh, and dogs.
Such beautiful words Cathy. Your grace and elegance can not be missed here. That you can touch strangers and cause emotion in them is a great statement to your strength and character.
This is a very moving post Cathy.......I know your wonderful sons will take it on board & do their very best for their mum. What a lovely daughter in law you have been....hope my DIL think of me as well as you do yours.
Such beautiful sentiments. So sorry to hear of your family's loss but I am confident you will all meet again and the dogs will be standing at the gate to welcome you.
Beautiful and heartfelt words Cathy - so sincere and touching -I am sure your boys will understand you and love you even more for this ! A beautiful capture of this simple flower !
My oldest brother recently told me that our aunt told him, when he was very young, that Irish women know when to die. She told him they take to their bed, stop talking, turn to the wall and then they are gone. We should all be so lucky to go that way.
I love your photo and your words written. You write so eloquently. I sometimes think those of us who write on occasion or when something like this happens that we write our best, from our heart and to others. This is so nice for your sons to have, keep and to read. I wrote poetry when my Dad died and I like poetry but never had written any. I have it today and shared it with my family. I wish you and your family the very best as you go through this time.
June 4th, 2014
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