32 by claycameras


Today we went to the bookstore so I could pick up a few new reads.

Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano has been taunting me for the past two months. I passed it up on Book of the Month, although I considered it, and in a way I've regretted it since. People have been singing its praises and talking about it everywhere. So much so that I just had to pick it up.

The second was a harder choice. Although I first saw it in Book of the Month the day before, apparently American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins has stirred up all kinds of controversy online. I spent last night reading article after article about it. In the end I decided that the only fair way to have an opinion about the book was to read it myself.

My final choice was Anne of Green Gables. Somehow I have never read it, despite the main character being a redhead. While waiting in the checkout line I spotted an absolutely beautiful edition for only $10. How could I refuse at that price? I've always wanted to read it, especially after the Netflix show came out. I've put off watching it just so I could read the book first.

The rest of our day was simple - a little more shopping, some video games, watching Star Wars before bed - but I realized something very important.

Just a few months ago I impulse bought a book at Walmart, but I was terrified to let Ray see it in the cart. I was so used to being judged that I dared not let him know. He found it while I was in the bathroom and, of course, he didn't care. What book caught my eye never meant a thing to him. If I liked something, that was fine. If I didn't, that was also fine.

I spent all morning talking about those books, finding them, buying them, and even beginning to read one. At no point did I ever wonder what he would think, did I ever fear his reaction. It never even occured to me to hide them. It wasn't until the very end of the night, as I reorganized the overflowing bookshelf, that I realized something had even changed.

For a time all I could do was sit there and smile, thankful that my reality had changed so profoundly.
I also read every night. I consume books voraciously. I find reading before turning out the lights helps me sleep whereas I toss and turn all night if I go straight to bed after a bout of screen time.
I never buy new though. I find that there are a ton of great, gently used books at local second hand stores. And they are so much cheaper!
February 3rd, 2020  
@farmreporter I used to read every day before bed and I need to get back to it! As a kid I read like mad. At recess I used to walk around while reading, haha.

I used to buy a lot of second hand books too, but when I moved out I had to leave almost all of my books behind. For now I'm enjoying being up-to-date on current books for the first time since childhood. Plus it keeps the books from spiraling out of control... or so I keep telling myself :)
February 5th, 2020  
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