Traditions and Changes by dmrams

Traditions and Changes

Today was the last day of school and it's a tradition for me to take their picture before we leave in the morning. Trevor was exempt from his first exam so he was still asleep when this was taken and when we left. The end to this school year is different than most for a few reasons. One is because Miranda will officially be in middle school next year and Addie will be in high school. The biggest difference with this morning's photo though is that this is the last one I will be able to take of Addie before school. She has decided to live with her dad starting next year so I will no longer be taking her to school each morning,or even getting to see her before school either. I'm very sad about the whole thing but I am trying to understand her reasons. She wants to attend a bigger high school and she wants to go to the school where her dad is one of the principals. I think she mainly wants a change and I can understand that. I'm trying to believe that this will be a positive change and one that will help make our relationship stronger. I know I will still see her a lot....but I will really miss the school mornings when she tells me my outfit looks okay....I will miss waking her up and telling her good bye as she gets out of the car....I know things are always bound to change but I guess I just wasn't ready or expecting this one.....anyway, summer has begun and I will treasure every moment we have until August...
Lovely picture... will be a big adjustment for you in the new term. That's rough.
June 4th, 2010  
You are being very brave. I know it is hard not to take this as rejection even if you know in your mind it is not. If it helps, you are helping your daughter grow into a young woman who respects her father and has a good relationship with him. That is so vital in her development and will help her to become more self confident. I'm sure it is bittersweet to think about this summer. I know you will treasure each moment you have together.Maybe taking pictures will help.
June 4th, 2010  
I understand so much of how difficult it is to let go of traditions and make way for changes. You, however, are strong and you will get through this and learn to embrace those changes...And something tells me that Miranda will tell you that your outfit looks nice as well. (BTW...this is something that I missed the most from Chris. Every day he did that for me, even when he didn't have to get up...! So I understand how much this means to you!)
June 4th, 2010  
Della that must be so hard for you. I think that you are giving her a great gift though, and it is one she will be thankful for, and who knows where this road will lead, surely to a better place than if you had refused. I admire your parenting! Also Addie looks JUST like you. I knew it was your picture as soon as I saw her.
June 4th, 2010  
Oh, Della, on the one hand I feel for you and on the other, I rejoice! In my experience, the HS years were very tough on my relationship with my daughter. She needed to be able to separate herself from me and that process (on a day-to-day basis) was very painful. I hope that Addie's decision to live with her father gives you the *best* of her becasue she has separated ... and can love you and enjoy you (as opposed to fighting you)!
June 4th, 2010  
Della you made me Cry!
I feel for you and know exactly how you are feeling.My girls live with me one week and their father the next week. I miss them terribly when they are gone. :(
June 4th, 2010  
Everyone has already made very wise comments. I can only add an empathetic comment, "Sometimes Change Sucks!". Your head knows all the good reasons for change; but your heart is just hurting.
Sending you a caring hug that you can keep in your pocket and take out and use one morning when you are needing one.
June 4th, 2010  
thank you veryone for your support and kind words....I'm really praying the decision she has made will help us draw closer because right now our relationship is so strained, as is common with teenage girls and their moms! I'm so blessed to have f365 friends to see me through :)
June 4th, 2010  
You're being very introspective here, and I can understand this change is going to be difficult. When a couple separates, the children retain their loyalities, and I can understand why Addie might enjoy being in a school where her dad is the principal. I hope it all works out successfully and that she's not so far away that you can't see her often.

It's quite something the way we've become an open book to one another here on 365. I really do care about everyone's stories, and don't we run the gamit?! Take each day as it unfolds, and enjoy your summer together. In time, when you can look back and reflect on the bigger picture, I hope you'll see that this transition was all good for everyone.
June 4th, 2010  
I will tell you this. My mom and I fought a lot at that age. They say you rebel against the same sex parent as a way of establishing yourself as an adult of that gender. Now I am 30 and my mom has been one of my best friends since I was about 18 and went off to college. I have called her everyday for years...even when I was living in China and "calling" meant a frustrating fight with the Chinese internet that often left me in tears. I am not proud of what I put my mother through as a teen even though we all seem to do it. I know the harsh teenage words I said hurt her deeply but take a stroll through my 365 page especially what I posted for her birthday on May 3rd or 4th and you will see that this too will pass and that the light at the end of the tunnel is bright and beautiful. Hopefully, by having some physical space your tunnel won't be as long as those of us living on top of each other during this time. Prayers for you and Addie and your ex husband, as well.
June 4th, 2010  
what happy faces.....and i truly admire your optimistic outlook in life, mums are always mums!
June 4th, 2010  
Della, for some reason I have not seen some of your photos this week....I just read today's post, and boy, do I know how you feel. My oldest son and I often went head to head starting at about age 14...I was divorced during that time...at one point (junior year) he went to live with is dad...I was hoping his dad would keep the same rules about curfews and such that I had but he did not...needless to say it was a rough road. My older son loved all his new "freedom." Funny thing though, when the going got tough he would still call me for advice...it all worked itself out but teen years can be so hard on everyone kids and adults alike. You gave her a really good foundation so she will be fine...and so will you. Sending a prayer and some cyber-hugs in your direction. Two bits of advice: one day at a time AND deep breaths :-)
June 7th, 2010  
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