I am starting to regret this choice of subject. It doesn't seem to have much variety in itself. Can it only be 11 April?
I will try to keep going.
I like to think of the scattered light as a reminder to single out the many blessings in a dark situation. To remind myself each day that they are present. And they truly are!
The current situation I am in seems so bizarre that I feel I am living in a fiction. For 14 months I have been meticulous in avoiding any risk of COVID as my father has been in the late stages of cancer. For this time, my sole objective has been to remain well to care (in turns) for him and help keep him out of hospital which is his desire. He has now reached the last few days of his life and I was due to be caring for him, but I tested positive for COVID and have been unable to go.
Meanwhile, three weeks ago, my father in law had a fall at home and was taken into hospital. He was fit for release after just a few days but the authorities want to transfer him to a care home for assessment. He is still waiting a bed. We can not visit and we can not influence or even find the people who are making decisions. Communication from the hospital is not forthcoming and my father in law has dementia which has deteriorated whilst in hospital to the point that we can no longer understand what he is trying to communicate either.
We are housebound for 10 days, and track and trace are all over me with regular phone calls to make sure I am staying at home.
As my husband has not yet tested positive, we are living seperately - passing each other from room to room (masked) like ships in the night - at our times of greatest need.
It feels like I am under house arrest.
It is a time to trust. A time to find ways to support from a distance. A time to rejoice in the time we have been able to spend together when so many people have not in this past year. A time to accept that it is not me who is in control.
Helen, so sorry, this covid situation is such difficult. Please go and get tested again, unless you have symptoms. I have tested false positive as I tested x3 in a 4 day period with the first test positive and 2 and 3 negative with the second test on the same day as the positive test. Weird but true.
Sorry to hear about your father. It is sad and so hard for everyone. All the best for you and your dad.
About your photo: love your take on using the environment , nice shine and light.
Sounds tough, I’m glad you are trying to stay positive. I hope your husband doesn’t get covid and you both are about to get out and about sooner than later. Wishes for both your father and father in law to have good days.
I’m so sorry of reading the sad news. I wish you to be soon free and able to visit your father and father in law. Solitude is the last of the things we may desire nowadays.
Oh Helen, what a nightmare for you. Covid has made our lives bizarre in so many ways, but to me the worst of it has been the death of my mom and not being able to be there. Take good care of yourself -- that's the one thing you can control in the moment.
@taffy Only now do I truly understand how that feels. I am so sorry this happened to you. I still have hope that I will get to see my Dad - there is a slim possibility.
I love your choice of subject, and I do hope that you will keep on going with it. Your creativity is always inspiring! You and your family have been on my mind and in my prayers and will continue to be. You may not be in control, but you are not alone. The Lord is with you, and He is for you.
@dutchothotmailcom thank you for your kind comments. Interesting about the testing - there are two kinds of testing here PCR which is supposed to be totally reliable (until you read the scientific papers!) and lateral flow which are not so much. My test was PCR. When I learned my husband was negative I took a lateral flow test this morning - negative. I cant book another PCR through the government site. So I have paid to have another test today. I just can not bear the thought that I am being kept from seeing Dad for no good reason. If this one comes back positive, I shall accept it.
shoot, i didnt read your full narrative, I am so sorry you are going through these tough times right now, my best wishes for rapid recovery and being able to recconnect the disconnected parts of your family.
Sorry to hear about your problems, Helen. They seem to come in waves. I certainly hope that your test is falsely positive, and that you’ll be able to spend with your dad his last few days. Can I send you a hug?
P.S. had you been vaccinated?
April 20th, 2021
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Sorry to hear about your father. It is sad and so hard for everyone. All the best for you and your dad.
About your photo: love your take on using the environment , nice shine and light.
P.S. had you been vaccinated?