Day 1 by muddledmum

Day 1

I’m writing this because I’m struggling. Struggling to feel like a mum. Not in a bleak hopeless sort of a way. I’ve dealt with bipolar disorder all my adult life, and I’m not ill now. But I am struggling to work out what it means to be a mum, and what that means for my sense of self. Don’t get me wrong - my child is healthy, happy, well looked after and has all the advantages in life she could hope for. It’s my brain that is the problem. It’s just not letting me be at peace with my new identity.

This project is my attempt to explore what it means to me to be a mum, and to document a year in our lives together. I don’t know what we’ll go through, and whether it will help be feel more like a mum, but I really hope it does. One day at a time, little by little.

Three good things for today:
1. I’ve had the courage to start this project
2. I have a lovely little girl who I want to connect to more
3. I have such a supportive husband who is helping me to untangle my brain
Read an article about a guy who was struggling to cope with people. As part of his treatement he was told to do a 365day project and take a photo of a different person a day for 365 days. He was on day 400 or 500 or something and said how he struggled to do it but how bit by bit it helped. Good luck. Hope this works for you.
July 22nd, 2021  
@reggiemtd Thanks - that’s really good to hear. I did a 365 about 5 years ago and I found the daily ‘diary’ update as important to me as the photos, so thought I’d try it again as a way to process some thoughts. Here’s hoping x
July 22nd, 2021  
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