Today has been difficult but positive. My mood has been dodge and I felt ill earlier, but I’ve persevered. I had bloods and ECG this morning. ECG isn’t quite normal but the bit that matters is so that’s now gone to CMHT and I should start quetiapine next week which is a bit scary… GP appt was okay but we ran out of time. Then later on my CPN came over and it was actually really positive. It helped me realise that I am doing things to help myself and it is helping my mood a bit. So it’s really nice that despite how hard it is, its paying off. It’s the most ‘me’ my CPN has ever seen me because she only met me in November (mid major depression relapse) and she commented how nice it was to see me a bit brighter.
I think I’m getting there on the big decisions in my life. I know in my heart what I want to do (leave uni, take the writing job, and do it alongside my current NHS job). I had a 2 hour chat with a friend who I always go to for life advice last night which helped, and both my GP and CPN have said it’s clear what I want (as opposed to what external pressures want for me) and what makes me happy (though they can’t advise, lol). To be fair, some of the decisions are a bit out of my hands. I have a lot of ironing out to do. I need to make an appointment or two and properly look at my finances but it’s all very scary and exciting in equal measures. I don’t think everyone in my life is going to agree with my decisions at all, which I know might cause some problems, but I can’t keep living my life for other people, it’s killing me. I’ve got to start living according to what makes me happy.
awesome shot. AND do what you really want to do because years will pass and you'll be old, thinking that you had the choice and life would have been different, so JUST DO IT !!
and always strive to do what makes you happy.. xx