Fears by olivetreeann

Fears

When I was a child I equated anyone in their 50's with Methuselah. In those days, my fears were brought about by bad dreams and bullies. I'm not sure when I crossed over the threshhold to full-fledged adult fears. But even in those early voyages into the grand questions of life; Will I find a job? Will I get married? Where will I live?, I never imagined the fears I'd have in my 50's. Yes, they still center around life's larger questions, but now they focus on my own mortality. The grandest fear I face these days is the breakdown of the body that must carry me further than it wants to go. I watch my joints bend to the will of arthritis and worry that I might carry the same genes that brought on my father's Parkinson's. I look in the mirror and see a visage that betrays my self-image every time. And I wonder if the same type of blood clot that stole my mother at 52 might also course through my veins and do the same to me. Years ago a dear elderly friend proclaimed to me, "Aging stinks!" I now understand she was only referring to the battles that I am fighting in my mind against the onset of my own frailty. And I am now certain that these fears are the greatest of all because if you give in to them, you will never live your life to the fullest. So, I have determined to gracefully accept the challenges of a softening grip and stiffening joints. And there is no use in worrying over what may or may not be a part of my genetic heritage. I can't take away or add another day to my life because it has never been in my hands to begin with. I realize that I have so much more to live for so why dwell on what I must learn to live without?
Beautifully said! Put it in the hands of God.
December 2nd, 2011  
@karenann You are so right Karenann!
December 2nd, 2011  
liked the shot and the message
December 2nd, 2011  
Appropriate for me, as I turned 50 today. I hope your fears turn out unfounded
December 2nd, 2011  
@sarasdadandmom Thank you Terry- I appreciate that.
@dmariewms Thank you Marie. Happy Birthday!! I do have a couple things going for me in that I was more active than they were, and I am not a smoker- which my mother was. I'm a little more proactive than my dad, so with my healthier eating and consistent exercise, I'll be able to manage for quite some time. The funny thing about fear is that it plays on your insecurities about things you have no control over anyway, so it's better to do what you can and enjoy what you have. And remember- 50 is the new 5!
December 2nd, 2011  
So true, but we cannot escape the torment our mind enjoys playing with us. We think about all those things, and for some, it is an ongoing nightmare. It's good we have such limited knowledge of what's to come.
December 2nd, 2011  
Indeed our future is in God's hands. I too am beginning to feel my body age and it is not keeping up with my goals and aspirations. All we can do is eat well, exercise and live the best way we can. Focus on all the blessings in your life giving thanks for them daily and the worries will lesson. Scripture says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself " Matthew 6:24
December 2nd, 2011  
Ann you expressed a difficult issue with such grace and eloquence and I agree with your conclusion - we can only control so much - the rest is out of our hands - so just live life to the fullest :)
December 2nd, 2011  
@digitalrn Well Rick in a way I think we can. It doesn't mean that we pretend nothing is going to happen, but we are encouraged to "take every thought captive". I know that this is specifically talking about sinful thougths, but I think the principal applies to worries and fears too. If we let them overtake us, we lose sight of the promises of God and His faithfulness to keep them. So that's why we have to harness those thoughts and turn them over to Him. I think that's how we escape the torment and are able to face the challenges head on.
December 2nd, 2011  
@michaelelliott Thank you Michael. And in spite of the arthritis, God has blessed me with my children, grandchildren, family and friends. That's one FULL life!
December 2nd, 2011  
@cortens That is exactly the Scripture I was thinking of as I wrote this Julie! I wondered if anyone else would think about it. (o: Thank you for your wonderful comment!
December 2nd, 2011  
nice words and pic
December 2nd, 2011  
Great capture and such wise words! Facing up to fears is so hard, but we have to do the best we can. Sounds like you're doing a good job of trying to stay ahead of your genes too :) Great start to the challenge!
December 2nd, 2011  
@woot Thank you Davide! I truly appreciate the view and your comment!
@alia_801 Thanks Alia! Hmmmm...today's word is "dreams". What to do? I guess I'll have to sleep on that.
December 2nd, 2011  
Even though I have never held your hands I know they are creative ones, used purposefully, helping and encouraging where needed. That comes across in your photos and your comments!
Remember "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear...." remember who loves you, who created you, who "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future......"
Be kind to yourself and enjoy using them every way you can! x
December 3rd, 2011  
@sarah19 Thank you Sarah for such beautiful words. I believe every word you have spoken! I do wish to age gracefully (o: You are a blessing to me.
December 3rd, 2011  
Just forgot about this shot! Today I used the same subjet for the "youth" theme :)
December 13th, 2011  
@woot Well, your son's hands have a lot living to do and hopefully he will never have to deal with arthritis. I look at this shot and all I see are swollen joints!
December 14th, 2011  
Leave a Comment
Sign up for a free account or Sign in to post a comment.