Why do we turn to the old platitudes when someone dies?
I was honored last night to be with my Mother-in-Love when she died. Her daughter gave her the gift of leaving this world and completing her baptism into the next (I'm a Presbyterian and that is how we say it). The folks that wanted to be with her gathered (Andy wanted to be with his grandmother so I went with him). Several of her children chose not to be there. Her oldest daughter Pam has taken care of her Mom and been the one in charge. After the decision was made to turn off the ventilator she asked her pastor to come and we all gathered at a specific time. The nursing staff was incredible. They turned off the vent around 7:30. We talked to her, Andy read from the Psalms from a new Bible that his Aunt Pam and her husband had given him last Saturday at his Dad's memorial service, the Pastor prayed and we sang. And, of course, we cried - for ourselves. For Nancy, the "pain is over" - these last years have been very painful for her. "She is in a better place." What else can we believe? The old saying is still in use for those of us that believe it applies. "No more suffering." And she did suffer - so that, too, is over.
Modern medicine is at times a wonderful thing. We have the ability now to "ease" a soul out of this life. And that is exactly what they did. They kept loading the doses and she "passed away" a little after 9. I don't know where that one came from. She was freed.
I don't know what heaven is like any more than anyone else does. I don't know if St. Peter stands at the "Pearly Gates" and reads from our book of life to decide which way we get to go. I don't know if we each get our own "Mansion" or cloud or white robes and wings (However, I love "It's a Wonderful Life" and still say that another angel got their wings when a bell rings. I do know that I told her that David was waiting for her. He didn't know how to navigate without his Mom. The boys and I have agreed to put a little of David in a vial and send it with her. They were quite the pair. I choose to believe that they were reunited last night.
I heard an analogy a while back that I love. While we were standing around her bed and counting those last breaths, the angels in the "delivery" room were waiting with open arms. "She's almost here. Here she comes! She's home."
What can I say Cathy after your beautiful but with some poignancy monologue -- you are courageous to show us all your strength through your faith May Nancy rest in peace and of course John will be there to greet her . A beautifully presented rose in Nancy.s Memory A fav
Oh Cathy, I thought this was special and went to hit fave before reading your beautiful words. It is a fave for both those and the picture now. I'm so sorry for your loss and so glad that her passing was gentle and surrounded by many of those who loved her. But that we could all be so lucky when the time comes. xx
I am so sorry for yet another loss, Cathy. You write so beautifully and I hope you are keeping what you are writing in a special place. You are such a strong woman and so caring. Your Mother-in-law passed similar to the way mine did, peacefully. I was not able to be at her bedside when she passed but my husband was and I had him hold the phone to her ear and told her that it was ok to go and that we will be fine and that we love her. She passed soon after that to her favorite music in a coma that she had slipped into. This sure brings up difficult memories but the reality of what happens in life. What a beautiful rose to remember her by. FAV
Crying. Alot. I know how those moments go...I have done it three times now. My mom and dad, and my father in law. We do cry for us...it makes me feel happier to know that those people are out of pain, and have gone on, no longer having to worry about earthly things or feeling pain. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Your family too
Im with @espyetta on this one! Although I still have my parents i am so sorry for all you have gone through recently! You are an inspiration to us with your strength and faith! Still prayig for peace for you and the boys!
My goodness, you've been through a lot in the last little bit! So glad you were all able to be there for your MIL and sons. I'm relieved she is at peace and out of pain. Such a pretty rose!!
The rose is so beautiful in its color and the openness seems welcoming. The dark background is so appropriate. You have a number of contrasts here. I am so sorry about another loss in your life. Prayers for you.
Oh, Cathy - I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you'll miss her but she's reunited with her son and I believe that they've found the peace in death that they couldn't find in life. I love your last sentence. Hugs, my friend!
Cathy, I'm sorry for your loss... but grateful for your belief in the process... I think that's what keeps us all (somewhat) grounded... our personal beliefs in the processes in life and death.
I'm glad that you chose to be there with her and her loved ones... To witness the passing of a life gains a new appreciation of maintaining one's own.
My heart goes out to you and those who are grieving her passing...
It does feel like life clobbers us sometimes. And part of life is also the tragedy of death. It is not so much a tragedy for those we love when they are released from pain and the "chains" of an earthly body, but for those of us who love them and must continue on, it appears to be a tragedy because we know our heart will ache for them in the coming days, months, years until we are reunited with them once again. The beauty of our faith Cathy is that it allows us to question, wonder, even complain about death and God is big enough to listen and somehow bring us peace in time. It sounds like you have had an extra dose of sorrows lately. But I know that your faith is also strong and that you will be able to find safe passage through this valley if you follow the Good Shepherd. My prayers are with you.
@olivetreeann Thank you so much. I'll take all the prayers that I can get. I am so glad that the struggle is over for Nancy. These last years have been so painful for her. My faith is strong - and strong for her.
I'm glad that you chose to be there with her and her loved ones... To witness the passing of a life gains a new appreciation of maintaining one's own.
My heart goes out to you and those who are grieving her passing...
So sorry to hear for your loss Cathy, she sounds like such a loveable lady. My wishes to you and family. x