Do we as Mothers ever "outgrow" our adult children? Do we ever get to the point in time when a phone call from an aching 43 year old doesn't send us into a tailspin? I missed out on a meet up with two of my favorite women on here the other day simply because I had one of those phone calls that leave me in tears and aching for my child - and at that point in time this grown man was very much my "little boy." He is living through a situation of his own making and trying to find out where his life will go from here. I am totally blessed that I am the one that he turns to when his days are the darkest - but, I learned a sad truth about myself the other day. I know all of the platitudes about their lives being their own and I firmly believe them. However, when your son goes to marriage counseling and has to tell the therapist that he is a child of divorce, all of that old guilt comes rushing back. Now, I am a strong woman. By the end of a couple of hours I was able to claim the fact that I had done exactly the right thing for all of us all those many years ago. And, that I had married a man that raised those little boys right along with me and done an incredible job of it and remains the love of my life. I also know that my son is in the driver's seat of his world and that I am the sounding board.
Now, to be able to get to a place inside where I can be what my child needs without bringing my day to day to a screaming halt. I'm happy. I live in a very good place in my life and would never go back in time to have to relearn what I already know. I just need to be able to go on with my day to day without dissolving right along with my little boy - or accept that fact that those days will come and that I don't need to control them.
i can relate to this situation, cathy. but if you know deep in your heart that you have done all you can to make this child happy, there is no need to feel guilty. we are at our prime, we've done all that we are supposed to have done, and sometimes exceeded them; we have paid our dues, and made up for the sins of others. the focus now is how to enjoy the rest of our life. there's so much to do, for ourselves. bless your kind heart. and keep taking photos this beautiful!
Fav for the photo. Just as summer is changing into fall so do our lives change. Our challenge is not to mourn what used to be or could have been but to see the beauty and wonder in what is now. If we look for it instead of focusing on the past we will find it. I am a firm believer in life happens for a reason and we just need to be open to the reason. Your son is blessed to have such a loving caring mother. Know that you are a rock for your family however painful it may be at times!
A beautiful Autumn capture,lovely colours and lighting:-)Our kids are always our children whatever their age.We always feel for them whenever they have problems.
Firstly, fav for the beautiful image of autumn! Secondly, I run a daycare and have many kids from divorced families, and they are all fine. There are kids whose parents fight constantly, but stay together for the sake of the kids, who not coping with the pressures of daily life - so YES, you did what was right for you children, AND for you! Believe that, believe in yourself!!! x
I was a child of a divorced marriage. My dad lived in USA and. We came back to the UK. You can't blame your parents for your problems. I blamed them for a long time but now as a grandmother myself, I realise that you make your own life.
Keep strong. Love your photo. Fav
it is hard and sad when our kids ache. And no matter the reason, we ache right there with them...no matter what! hang in there and I know you are in a good spot!
Beautiful shot Cathy. It is never easy to see the ones we love going through painful times. But we can't prevent their pain, we can just be there to support them and remind them that "this too shall pass".
FIrst...this is an amazingly beautiful capture. I love the dof and color. It is a FAV. Next, I know exactly how you feel!! It tears us apart to see our kids go through the hurts the life brings...and yet we can only hope and pray that it will make them stronger in the future, as our huts have done for us. The choices are theirs along to make and all we can do is hold their hand. Hugs to you and your son! Sounds as though you have set a good example of how to life your life through your hurtful time. That is so important.
This is a gorgeous photo and your heart story struck a chord.
I call it the 'invisible umbilical' that never gets cut! And being there for them never ends even if we can't actually do much! Just this week I have realised that my mum and dad still care so deeply about me even though I'm in a more positive place than they are in many respects.
Love and prayers go a long way. Go gently!
Keep strong. Love your photo. Fav
I call it the 'invisible umbilical' that never gets cut! And being there for them never ends even if we can't actually do much! Just this week I have realised that my mum and dad still care so deeply about me even though I'm in a more positive place than they are in many respects.
Love and prayers go a long way. Go gently!