As I said on the photo, I think it's pretty but I can also see what you mean. For starters I would add some contrast. You have some true black in this photo but I feel it's missing true white to balence it. Other than that...I'm not sure.
It's not quite balanced. The secondary subject is facing and nearly touching the left edge of the frame, while your main subject half way through the frame. The shoulder is cropped a little awkwardly. You could frame it a little more loosely, or turn the camera a little more to the left.
I quite like the tonal relationships - I do not think your editing is off. A little more light on your subject's face, perhaps, by either OCF, reflector, or a little dodging, may help the shot.
After reading jinx's reply I agree that the crop is awkward (I wasn't able to quite put those feelings into words in my first reply). Maybe a square crop to get rid of the shoulder problem. Unfortunatly there's not too much to be done after the fact when the original was too tight.
I thought it was a beautiful picture,. These are two beautiful little girls. It left me unsure, of what the photo was about, is it about these little girls or do you want us to imagine what they are looking at?
I think it lacks a power point, focus.
Kids are hard to pose, best kept natural, but I think it would be shocking good if the first little girl could of brought her body forward and then you'd see her whole arm and the posture shes taking. But again then your talking a pose. Also I agree that the dark should be darker, so her eyes and hair pop too.
@jinximages@thismoment Thanks for the critque. I have to agree and have been playing around with it a bit. This was a quick unposed shot at a shoot I did. I LOVED their profiles and this was going to be trashed but I fell in love with their expressions, I tried playing around with it a bit but just wasn't sure if it measured up. I was sitting beside them so thats why the crop was so close. ahh if only we had time machines to go back and re-do. :) @missvicki Thank you. I wish I could have posed them too! :) I'm playing around with colors now. :) I just didn't want to waste too much time because this was orginally in my 2nd cut, but I fell in love with it!
@bretonr I think the shot is absolutely a keeper, and I love the b&w. Sometimes you just have what you have, and you like it in spite of (or sometimes because of) its faults. I find faults in evry photograph I take, without exception. I just move on to the next shot and try to improve. We're all students of photography, and always will be because there is no such thing as the perfect photograph. I don't think you should obsess over this shot - it's a cracker, regardless of the crits I and others have stated.
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I quite like the tonal relationships - I do not think your editing is off. A little more light on your subject's face, perhaps, by either OCF, reflector, or a little dodging, may help the shot.
I think it lacks a power point, focus.
Kids are hard to pose, best kept natural, but I think it would be shocking good if the first little girl could of brought her body forward and then you'd see her whole arm and the posture shes taking. But again then your talking a pose. Also I agree that the dark should be darker, so her eyes and hair pop too.
@missvicki Thank you. I wish I could have posed them too! :) I'm playing around with colors now. :) I just didn't want to waste too much time because this was orginally in my 2nd cut, but I fell in love with it!