"...turn in to something beautiful. You know, you know I love you so..." ~"Yellow" by Coldplay.
I heard this song on the radio today. An ex-boyfriend of mine loved Coldplay. I could take 'em or leave 'em, really. He often said this line reminded him of me.
I broke up with this particular boyfriend about 10 years ago to go out with another man. I was 26 or 27. We'd been only dating for about 7 months, but he had intensely pursued me for months before then. When I broke up with said ex-BF, I was honest with him about me wanting to date another guy. He was angry and hurt, naturally. I remember some of more hurtful things he had said to me as we were breaking up: "Good luck to your next victim."
The way I handled the break-up...well, some of those moments weren't my finest but I don't regret anything. Although...I did break up with him right before the holidays. Ouch.
After about a week or two of fighting (him wanting me to give him another chance, me wanting to date another), he relented. His anger subsided and I remember the last time we hung out. We had gone to Mulligan's, this Irish pub around the corner from where we worked. On 39th & Mad. I wonder if it is still there. Anyway. We sat in silence over two pints. Then we took a walk up to Rockefeller Center, where the rink was open to skaters and the Christmas tree was set up.
All my years living in NYC, that was the first time I'd ever been skating there. I avoid that place around the holidays, much like I do with other touristy spots in NYC. I remember that night, I held on to his gloved hand as we skated, not really saying anything -- our hearts and heads were heavy with feelings and thoughts. We both knew it was over, but it was a nice way to end it. I don't remember how long we were skating in that cold weather. It could have been 20 minutes, could have been 2 hours, for all I know.
The guy I left that ex for...what happened to him? Well, I'm married to him now. After 10 years of dating, 7 of which we've been married, we're still together. The ex I write of, is happily living with a woman on Long Island. He's happy for me. And I'm happy for him. But, I think some of you know how I feel about Long Island...
Anyway, enough reminiscing. Looking forward to my weekend. Gonna go to the Matisse exhibit at the Met, hang out with the gals, spend time with hubby, and work on a baby quilt I'm making for a friend.
