Yesterday night making love with you
was the same to me as brushing my teeth,
I felt better afterwards
but it was routinely done with robot precision
and all the decision and anticipation gone
brushed away with over familiarity.
This morning when you kissed me good bye
there was no chill deep inside me:
I know how you kiss, and your secret ways
aren't secret to me anymore
and all the curiosity and expectation gone,
kissed away with over familiarity.
But I cant let go, can you.
I hold on to what is gone
and know my fingers grasp nothingness
and tighten my already clenching grip.
I don't want to have to learn it all over again with someone new,
but there is no feeling in me when I see you.
I am dead weight under your roving touch
that knows all the places and spaces:
I am bored to tears -- which you mistake for my pleasure.
I will never stop loving you
as I have never stopped loving those
who came before you,
but anticipation and new expectations are my lifeblood.
Forgive me for knowing you too well.
Or perhaps it is that you know me,
and I do not wish to be known.
- lisa lenard-cook, 1952-2016
@summerfield
I keep on looking at the items placed on the table, almost clinical. What is the cello tape doing there, behind the toothbrush? Or is it dental floss :-)?