"Fourteen"
Fourteen years ago, at 1:58 a.m., a sweet little baby girl came into this world in a fury known as "The Labor That Lasted Exactly 58 Minutes".
I am convinced that Dylann made her own way into this world. I was not due for another 2 weeks when I was laying on the couch, with not a contraction in sight but feeling excruciating pinching sensations in my cervix. (Women will understand that more than men). I imagined that Dylann was using her tiny little baby fingers to pry her way out. Such a silly thought..... Two minutes later, I felt a pop and was soaked in amniotic fluid. I stood up and announced that my water had just broke. The husband, who had recently arrived home from work, jumped up and asked "Are you serious??" and then ran past me and up the stairs while shouting, "I need to change my clothes!" ......I watched him whiz by and said, "...Oh...okay. Well, I'll just take care of this then...." and waddled up the stairs, into the bathroom where I changed MY clothes. We grabbed the bags and Garrett and Taylor and headed to my parents' house. I felt fine the whole time, no contractions or discomfort, but was nervous as both Garrett and Taylor had been born, literally, seconds after their water had been broken by doctors. We dropped the kids off at my parents' house, picked up my younger sister, and made our way to the hospital. After arriving, I was checked and it was discovered I was dilated to 2 with no hint of contractions AT. ALL. I was told to walk, so I did. Up and down, back and forth, for 4 hours. Nothing. No change at all, no contractions. My sister kept me company while the husband slept. At 1 a.m., I decided that I'd had enough and, after being checked for the umpteenth time and the nurse telling me to go walk again, I looked at her and said, "No." Her jaw dropped and she said, "Excuse me?" I repeated, "No. I don't think I feel like walking anymore." The nurse stammered a bit and finally said, "....Okay, well....I guess you can rest for a bit." and left the room. 10 minutes later I told the husband to get the nurse because "It hurt." The nurse was less than sympathetic and informed me that she had just checked me and I wasn't even having contractions. I said, "Well, it hurts now and I want drugs." She rolled her eyes, no doubt thinking, "Oh lord, she's one of those who feels the slightest pain and starts screaming for drugs." I just stared at her and she finally said, "Okay, I will let them know you want an epidural." Twenty minutes passed and I finally heard a knock at the door. It was a very less than enthusiastic anesthesiologist. He sighed and leaned against the wall as he asked me routine questions in his tired, monotone voice. He then informed me he'd "be back later." With each passing contraction, I closed my eyes and clicked a pen that I had picked up somewhere. That's it. I don't do dramatic labors...never have. It's how I roll. The nurse soon returned and told me they'd be moving me to the delivery room and to follow her. I looked at the husband and my sister and said, "Seriously, I have to walk??" The nurse rolled her eyes again and said, "Come on now, you can rest in the other room." Then she shook her head and smirked at my labor partners. And so, I walked...and I walked...and I walked....and then I turned the corner and walked some more. Every 15 feet or so I would stop, grab the husband's shirt, and bury my face in his shoulder. When the contraction was over, I would whisper, "This really hurts." He'd say, "I know. Come on." and we'd start walking again. At one point, I looked at the nurse, who would stop each time I did and stand with her hand on her hip, checking her watch, and said, "This REALLY hurts." She just chuckled and shook her head. When we reached the room, she told me to empty my bladder before getting into bed and then she left the room. I went into the bathroom, shut the door and sat on the toilet. Only, I never quite made complete landing as I felt Dylann's head start to crown. I jumped up, flung the door open, and put both hands up on the door frame, as if to hold it up, and said, 'This baby is coming NOW." My sister and husband looked at each other and the nurse, who had just walked back in, again chuckled and said, "Oh, you're fine. Come get in the bed and I'll check you." So I did and when I whipped back my gown, her jaw dropped, her face turned white, she yelled, "Don't push!" and then ran to the door screaming for a Dr. I don't know how many people came running but there were a lot of them. I pretty much thought to myself, "Screw it." and pushed anyway. I then looked at my sister and husband who were huddled over in the corner and said, 'Are you going to help or not??" They each joined my side and I pushed more. I pushed and pushed. It freaking hurt!! I had given birth to two babies without drugs and neither of them took more than two minutes to push out and, while it hurt, it didn't feel like this. I am pretty sure it took at least 3 minutes to push Dylann out and I did stop to exclaim, "God damn this hurts!!" (...okay, so I did go the dramatic labor route...but it was just that once. Out of 10 babies, I think I earned a free dramatic pass) I pushed and pushed and asked if she was out yet (Duh...who can feel everything and still ask if the baby is out yet?? Apparently, I can.) The Dr. laughed and said, "Almost."
And then she was.
I immediately said, "Thank you, God! ....Oh, baby, I am so sorry I cursed at you!" and the whole room laughed. 5 minutes after I delivered her, there was a knock at the door followed by a familiar monotone voice, "I'm ready to give her the epidural."
Psh.
It was at that point when my nurse came to my side and took my hand. She looked at me and said, "I am sooooo sorry. I did not know you were in hard labor. .....You just didn't act like it."
I told her it was okay. All's well that ends well...but to never forget me. ...I have told a few Dr's the very same thing....
As Dylann was being examined and I was being cleaned up, I layed my head back and said again, "I can't believe I cussed. (don't get me wrong...I can mimic the mouth of a sailor any time I want....but this was infront of my baby....) I continued with, "But, that freaking hurt! ...I don't remember the others hurting like that." the Dr. said. "Well, it's probably because she had her hand on her head." I said, 'Whaaaat?" The Dr said, "Yep, she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her arm and head so her hand was stuck up on top of her head."
......Yep, like I said, I am convinced Dylann made her own way....just like she's been doing ever since.
Happy Birthday, Dilly!! I love you!
