Muddled Up by naomi

Muddled Up

Sooo, I had a GP appointment today which was kind of tricky. My bloods aren't good, apparently. And she said there's no way I'm physically fit enough for work, and that I'm not well enough to drive to Newcastle to see my friends in a couple of weeks. I don't know what to do :( I really want to see them and I don't think I'd manage the train :/ My blood pressure dropped but not enough for it to be a huge huge problem but eurgh.

I'm so confused by what different people (professionals) are telling me. She did tell me to ignore certain professionals but it's hard when part of the illness is convincing you that you don't have the illness, and then the sevice designed for that illness discharges you.

This afternoon I met up with my boss for coffee (tea) which was great! I've been off work since November due to the depression relapse. She’s the best and gave me loads of hugs. My job is changing a bit but in a good way… less 1:1 intense stuff, more creative stuff/artyfarty classes, some website/promo stuff which I can do from home. I showed her my journal and she loveddd it and said it’s such a brilliant resource and I could publish it/something idk but yay she liked it. She basically wants the job to help me in my recovery, to help me work out who I am not who people want me to be. To discover/rediscover my identity and meet other people who are actually like me because I was saying how many friends I’ve lost since November. Basically she’s the best. We're hoping I can get back to work in ~1monthish.and then use my AL to go back super super super graded, like a few hours a week for a few weeks etc. So that was way more positive and exciting yay.
Sounds like you have one amazing boss. I'm sure she is right about the journal. Sorry to hear about the bloods though.
March 9th, 2017  
The best advise is listen to you own body. It tells you you can do it or not. And: If Moses can`t go to the mountain, the mounthain has to go to Moses.
Be assure of : many people loves you.
Great collage and capture.
March 9th, 2017  
Wow your boss sounds like a brilliant person to have around!
March 9th, 2017  
Your boss is extraordinary to see the potential you have and help guide you - sounds so positive - we all need to be surrounded by people like that!
March 9th, 2017  
Your boss sounds terrific, the changes in your work sound good too. I'm glad for you. 💐
March 10th, 2017  
Another great journal photo and how lovely that you have such a wonderful, supportive boss.
March 10th, 2017  
Another great journal page and such positive changes!
March 10th, 2017  
Professionals telling you to ignore other professionals. No wonder you're confused. Anybody else would be. Your boss being so supportive is so good to hear about. And hugs too!!
March 11th, 2017  
I loved the way your passage began on a low point only to continue to rise up and up to the conclusion! A Happy You! I loved reading that! As you know, I'm in full agreement with your "boss" about publishing! Your work is *good* and from the heart!
March 11th, 2017  
No wonder you are muddled up. Keep working at it, you'll get there.
March 12th, 2017  
@helenhall She's incredible! And my boods aren't that bad it's okay.
@pyrrhula Thank you xxx
@kty She is the best!
@milaniet Thank you - she's the best boss I could ever hope for.
@slash Thank you xxx
@purdey Thank you, she really is great :)
@craftymeg Thank you!
@stray_shooter It is really confusing ubt unfortunately a sad reflection of the mental health care in this country. Thank you xxx
@Weezilou Thank you - I don't know how I'd ever do that if I ever decided to but it's amazing how positive people have been about the stuff I've been doing!
@kjarn Thank you xxx Unfortunately a sad reflection of the mental health care in this country x
March 12th, 2017  
Hey, thanks for asking, everyone thinks I'm OK. I'm so good at that brave face stuff, but in reality I'm struggling, really struggling but feel like I'm letting everyone down if I admit it to anyone close to me ☹️
March 12th, 2017  
@pixiemac that's so rough, I can relate, though. Id there a GP or someone you could speak to?xxx
March 12th, 2017  
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