It feels like it’s coming. It feels inevitable. It feels like Spotify is playing a soundtrack to my life and I’m sat outside watching as I fall and fall and keep falling and stumble and trying to climb and grasp and reach and gasp and try to breathe but I’m falling faster than ever and each branch I try to hold onto snaps and splinters in my hands.
I’m crying and crying because I so want to live
Chat conversation start
26 March 20:30
29 March 18:53
Mon 18:24
Wed 20:40
Wed 22:23
My mood has plummeted. I'm safe, though.
It feels like it’s coming. It feels inevitable. It feels like Spotify is playing a soundtrack to my life and I’m sat outside watching as I fall and fall and keep falling and stumble and trying to climb and grasp and reach and gasp and try to breathe but I’m falling faster than ever and each branch I try to hold onto snaps and splinters in my hands.
I’m crying and crying because I so want to live but I feel desperate. I can’t live like this.
I so want to live and feel joy and have life and fly kites and jump in the sea and run and feel the wind. I want the fresh air on my cheeks and the views from the top of a mountain. I want to meet people and laugh and resonate love and light.
But I’m trapped and I’m falling and I can’t breathe or escape. Death has been on my doorstep for years and years and it feels like it’s slowly seeping in and smothering everything that I am.
Naomi .... your journal, although so very beautiful, makes me so sad today and is a little scary. I feel so limited in what I can say to make you feel better except to say ... you are loved. I have seen it here on the 365 community and know it is true with family and friends because of what you have shared in your journal. As simple as this sounds I would encourage you to go buy that kite and go fly it. Get out of the house and do one thing you want to do - ask a friend or go alone... but go. When I am down if I get outside and walk or hike, do something for a friend or family member, just DO something, it does help, it does lift my spirits. Please open your door and go outside and see what God has created - just for you.
@365karly1 Thank you Xxx I'm doing all that I can. I did buy a dragonfly kite yesterday. Unfortunately I'm having some problems with my legs which limits what I can do. But I'm trying Xxx @sanaaijaz Thank you, I bought a dragonfly kite yesterday. Unfortunately I'm not well enough to go to the sea but it's a goal x
@sanaaijaz Thank you, I bought a dragonfly kite yesterday. Unfortunately I'm not well enough to go to the sea but it's a goal x