I didn't upload yesterday - it was a horrible day and I don't have horrible days. Since this is part journal, here goes.
Always make sure that everyone around you knows what you want done when you die. Say it loud and clear and leave it in writing! We had David cremated, per his wishes. His mother is convinced that he was only joking about that.
Have a will that clearly leaves what you own to those that you wish to inherit your "stuff." We have been cleaning out the three rooms that an incredibly sick and twisted mind lived in for the last 30 years. I will never tell her what we found up those steps. But she is convinced that all that he had belonged to her to distribute and not the boys. There was one really nice flat screen tv and several computers and a small amount of money that we are using to pay final expenses- the rest is unmentionable. We are trying to figure out how to dispose of things and I think an incinerator or dump situation. We can't "tell" her what she didn't get to inherit.
Never say hateful things to one another in the midst of grief. Remember that your words can never be unspoken. I know that she is going through the very worst that a mother can have happen. I'm a strong woman. She can take anything out on me that she wants - but not my sons right now who are dealing with the loss of their father and learning things that can't be unlearned.
Always, always treat one another with love. Walk away if you are going to say or do something that varies from that. It isn't worth it - not today or any other day.
Very sound words. I can only hope future days are better for all of you.
Love your clematis and can't wait to see it wide open. They are such magnificent flowers.
A beautiful image. So sorry you are having such a torrid time, an awful situation to deal with but your words show that you have a good understanding of what you are going through and how to deal with it. Keep strong.
You are such a wonderful person, Cathy. I know you are struggling greatly to handle this situation with the utmost dignity and moral correctness. I am sure it is wearing you down at every turn and I am equally certain you are still going forward in spite of your possible desire to throw your hands up and just quit. The sacrifices you are making right now are being noticed by your sons and the character you are helping to build in them by making those sacrifices will strengthen them as men and make them better people. In time you will be able to look back on this and know that as difficult as it was it was done right. You ARE a wonderful person.
A beautiful capture!! I know just what you mean about people grabbing everything. The same thing happened when my father's aunt died. His sister walked in and took everything,quite a few antique items,too.My dad just walked away,disgusted.
Dear Cathy, my heart goes out to you. Your sons and mother in law are fortunate to have a person of such integrity in the midst of this difficult time. Take care.
A beautiful image Cathy worth a fav Your days are rather disturbed at the moment -- my heart goes out to you at this difficult time -- be brave and shield those boys as any mother would -- xx
Such a beautiful shot, Cathy. I am glad you have written what you have as everyone needs to know how to handle a situation like this. I try to be a peaceful person and walk away before saying something I may regret and cool down. My thoughts are with you during this trying time and may your strength continue to help your sons and yourself get through this together.
You are so wise and loving. Your words mean more to me than you know because of my situation with my ex, our children and his mother. Thank you for sharing. Take care, Cathy.
Your clematis shot is gorgeous ~ fav
@timandelke Elke I would love a margarita! I just got home from planning my ex husband's memorial service. Michael is at work in Indianapolis and Andy is at work here - so I am still taking care of David! I will be very glad when this week is over and I can start thinking of photographs and flowers and find my happy life.
I have been absent from 365 for several weeks and have been unaware of the terrible time you're going through right now. I would like to add my sympathy and offer prayers for peace and comfort as you walk down this difficult road.
Love your clematis and can't wait to see it wide open. They are such magnificent flowers.
Your clematis shot is gorgeous ~ fav
Your Clematis shot is beautiful.