Today it came really clear to me that when we feel something as deep as sorrow we also feel everything else as deeply, feeling doesn't really discriminate, its all or nothing. So there has been a lot of love mixed in there as well. If you try to close down the sorrow you close down all other feeling as well, you just have to go through it.
I want to thank you all for being there for me over the past year, and especially the last few days, you are all so supportive and your companionship has really kept me going and helped me express myself through creativity. I feel so grateful.
I'm told by those who have loved and lost that the first year is the worst, not just for the proximity but also because you have now experienced all the events that a year brings without him. Praying for you today.
I am so glad to read this and it is so deeply moving and truthful. In the past few days, I was watching your posts but could not articulate my thought properly. You are a brave and strong lady and I learned so much from you.
What a beautiful photovof Halil!
Look at you all see the love there that's sleeping.. Wonderful song and lyrics. I admire your inner power to come to terms with his abrupt leaving. Hugs!
Beautiful shot, it portrays such a softness and innocence about Halil.This truly is a wonderful and supportive community and I hope you have found some solace here.
It's amazing what range of feelings we produce and share at the same time. Some days, they pool gently, while others they churn like a tsunami. Your sea photos have been one way I have witnessed your feelings this year. So powerful. Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing with us. I celebrate your son. HUG
Our daughter lost her husband unexpectedly two years ago in June. The first year was hard, but the numbness of him being gone didn't allow her to deal with it fully. The second year was far worse for her. Everything remind her of him, holidays and birthdays were especially hard. My wife read a book written by a mother who lost her daughter in an accident. She said the second on third years were the hardest for her. My heart goes out to you Kali as you grieve. It is my hope that you will soon walk out into the light again!
@skipt07 thankyou skip, I think.... lol something to look forward to?
, i have never lost anyone this close before, grandparents yes and distant relatives but noone so young,.. a big learning curve to be sure.
@kali66 - No no no. . . It's just that many times people think you should get over grieving a death like getting over the flu or and operation and a few months later that you should be back to life as usual. I have lost both parents and all grandparents. While it is always difficult when you lose a loved one, if they are up in age we seem to come to grips with it easier. When they are young that is entirely a different story. We all grieve differently. Don't allow others to push you through the process. My reason for relating the two stories was to show that the grieving process takes time not to discourage.
Kali, I feel remiss in not having said anything for so long. I really hope you haven't taken my silence as a lack of care - my love for words don't mean I find them adequate. I'm sorry. My heart broke for you and Halil and I continue to think about you often.
An idea like yours here has been formulating in my head for a while with little articulation - how stunned I was this morning, to read your words spelling it out so clearly. It seems a shared phenomenon, then. Its indiscrimination used to piss me off, but I am grateful for seeds of appreciation like what you've written here. I've decided it's better to feel too much than too little, even if at time we feel more like watering cans that humans. You teach me a lot, and doubtless I'm not the only one.
@louuncouth my darling girl, thankyou from the bottom of my heart xx i know its not easy to know what to say,
shared phenomenon is what it is all about i think, i am feeling more and more the oneness.
I really didn't think one year had already passed Kali. Beautiful words from you and tears in return for you. You are so much better at expressing your feelings than I am.
think of you and sending waves of love your way
“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”
Look at you all see the love there that's sleeping.. Wonderful song and lyrics. I admire your inner power to come to terms with his abrupt leaving. Hugs!
, i have never lost anyone this close before, grandparents yes and distant relatives but noone so young,.. a big learning curve to be sure.
An idea like yours here has been formulating in my head for a while with little articulation - how stunned I was this morning, to read your words spelling it out so clearly. It seems a shared phenomenon, then. Its indiscrimination used to piss me off, but I am grateful for seeds of appreciation like what you've written here. I've decided it's better to feel too much than too little, even if at time we feel more like watering cans that humans. You teach me a lot, and doubtless I'm not the only one.
shared phenomenon is what it is all about i think, i am feeling more and more the oneness.