The travel back after work is starting to wear the cloak of another season, darker in color. It's almost upon us; that season of goodbyes.
I don't look forward to the change from long days and warm nights but neither do I fight the turn of our axis toward the season of goodbyes.
My Grandfather, Jimmy Fitz, walked me to kindergarten, most every day. A magical walk for an almost five year old, through tree ladened streets that had the bittersweet smell of leaves as they passed on to mulch. He would hold my hand through the park across from the school and, then, with a swish of his hand, send me off. "Goodbye" he would say.
His passing was not pleasant. Pyramids could crumble and trolleys lose their tracks before this man with his stub of a cigar, gruff demeanor, hands of a craftsman and wit of a court jester would part with our ways. He suffered mightily but his woman, the amazing Bessie, kept a vigil for years, to keep him comfortable. I was not there for his passing. But I have a thousand of his goodbyes.
There is a pain among all pains that we cannot rid ourselves of. We yearn for that missed chance to say goodbye.
And, yet, goodbye is a fragile term I rarely use, I rarely hear. "See you later" or the many off ramp variations, said with a wink, or god forbid, a pointed finger, are my comfort zone. Yes, a fragile term, that. And here again, we are. The season of goodbyes.
Hope requires that we look forward and our Soul persists in it's desire that all will be well. That all will keep on. There are changes, natural changes, that we would rather wish away. I would rather wish away. Conclusion is not a metaphor. The reality is, sometimes, too big.
But, here we are. The turning toward that time. The party's over. I am reticent to leave, when the time together has been so good. And, though not a person who hugs, I grab on to you with all my might. There may be other chances, if the Fates allow, but here, now, I must say, with all the love I have, if this be our final meeting, I have enjoyed your company. I have learned so much. In the spirit of the season, I am privileged to say goodbye.
