Sadness by naomi

Sadness

I had bloods this morning with my fav nurse, then had occy health and he was lovely but long story short, I'm not going back to work yet, which set off horrible thoughts (he wants the referral sorted and also my meds checking but the meds thing won't happen) so I went and spent too much money in a craft shop (oh wellllllll).

I popped in on a friend, then came to Dad's. After seeing it earlier in the week, I decided to come and try and clean and tidy. Oh my goodness it's worse than I remembered. It was such a mess and so dirty :( I'm not convinced how well he's doing. I brought daffodils to brighten up the kitchen. I've changed all the sheets, cleared the floors and hoovered upstairs and all of the stairs... I'm going to attempt the kitchen and bathrooms tomorrow. It's hard though because of the mess but I'm doing my best. I also found a review from the cottage which mentioned dirt and that scares me because that's Dad's pride and joy and only real job and he's normally so diligent with it so I don't know what's going on.

I'm just so sad. About everything. I'm terrified of losing my Dad. I'm frustrated/angry/defeated about services. I'mtrying, my god I'm trying, I'm getting up, I cleaned my room and did my sheets this morning, too. I'm taking my meds, I'm trying to get up and go to bed at normal times, I'm trying to cope in healthy ways (I even managed a bath with a bath bomb tonight which is self care++++++). I just don't understand why I continue to feel so low and so sad and why I keep finding myself sat on the floor shaking and crying. I don't understand why I can't feel better. I don't know what to do.

Also, my latest Blurt blog (it's Friday!): Rediscovering Ourselves When Depression Follows Us Up - https://www.blurtitout.org/2017/02/24/rediscovering-ourselves-depression/
Your photo is beautiful. And what a good sweet daughter you are.
February 25th, 2017  
Lovely photo; blessings to you as you find ways to cope. Praying you'll be completely healed. :)
February 25th, 2017  
A beautiful photo - please know that I am thinking of you tonight.
February 25th, 2017  
Beautifully composed. Symbolic of your day presenting the bright sense of hope from the flower and the frustration, despair, darkness of what you're dealing with.
February 25th, 2017  
Great shot of those lovely Daffodil flower. Some colors in you life are aleay`s welcome.
I don`t know what country you live but in our you Dad could get help from professionals to keep his home cleaned. Not in yours ?
I`m glad my pic. brighten you day a bit .
February 25th, 2017  
This is so pretty. Keep at it my friend. I know it's hard, but you've shown through your actions and your writing that you can fight through this. Good things are out there and within reach. And keep giving us these wonderful photos!
February 26th, 2017  
@alophoto thank you. I just want to make things as easy as possible for him
@juliedduncan Thank you xxx
@linnypinny Thank you - that means a lot
@taffy Thank you - I love daffodils, they're so happy. We planted lotsoafter my grandma died.
@pyrrhula Thank you - unfortunately DAd would never accept any help like that
@stray_shooter Thank you :) I'm trying!x
February 26th, 2017  
Keep at it Naomi, great to see you trying.
March 3rd, 2017  
Leave a Comment
Sign up for a free account or Sign in to post a comment.