Sorry for the crappy shot. Bit of an update... long and boring so feel free to ignore.
I am tired. Really tired. I'm doing everything I can to improve my mood and it's still so low. Im stuck. I'm crying all the time, the suicidal thoughts are increasing again and I'm just exhausted. Everything is hard work, as my GP said this evening. Everything. I have lost all trust in services. I desperately need them to help me but they won't - they just tell me off or blame me. I'm really scared for an appt. I have on Friday. I saw my GP today for ages and she's great and we have a bit of a plan for food. I don't think she's too impressed that the ED not-service discharged me. They haven't even told her like they said they would (not that I'm surprised). My body is giving me a few signs things aren't so great but I'm ignoring them. I'm just so tired of fighting.
Also I took my camera to the camerafixitman and he said to try and get the bit of SD card out with a toothpick or send it away which might cost £100+ but I'm struggling to get it out and I don't really have that money so I'm a bit stuck :(
I know that battle with head so well Naomi... its been a tough few days for me too... but.... much as we hate hearing it, it is only us that can fix us, there's no magic wand (I soooo wish there was) but I'm telling you now, suicide is not the answer no matter how wonderful that seems as a solution hang on in there girl xxxx
Praying for you now to have a peace that transcends understanding. In the Bible, Jesus say, Come to me those who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Praying that he would give you a peace today and rest as he shares carrying your burden. Its nothing for him. He cares about you. Hugs.
thankyou for telling us, to me that means you still have hope that some help will come your way, This is triggering for me, our son left us without saying anything because he got overwhelmed and gave up, he didnt want to be saved. so forgive me if i spill the wrong things, but these are my thoughts....what do you want them to do? what help do you think you need? would you let them help you if they had a different idea of what would help? seems like you need a safe place to just let go and see how far the bottom is, so you can stop fighting for a while and be taken care of. there is a saying, what you resist persists,there is a freedom in just accepting yourself exactly as you are, the truth is freeing. ..you have so much resilience to have come this far, it seems your resources are spread too thin now, i have never been that low myself, so i cant recommend anything in particular, i would hug you and cry with you if i could . . I hope the fact that we care helps you Naomi, its all we have.
Hey. You must be so worn out. I can't add anything useful except that I've been close to a friend as hopeless as can be. We cried together. I had many trips to hospital with her. We sat in pain and distress for hour on hour, week on week, month on month and more. Yet ultimately she was able to work this through to a place of contentment. Praying for you.
@pixiemac thank you - you're right that only we can fix ourselves. @alophoto thank you - I really do need to get my bible back out @kali66 thank you - I'm sorry it was triggering for you. I think I need them to help me with some new ideas of how to cope with everything/how to lift my mood. I feel like I'm doing everything I possibly can. I know they don't have a magic wand or anything. I just need to let go but I can't. @helenhall thank you. I am lucky to have some amazing friends who do just sit with me. @linnypinny thank you x @hellie thank you - I'm there, chilling in my car! @aecasey thank you so much xxx @pyrrhula thank you x
March 1st, 2017
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@alophoto thank you - I really do need to get my bible back out
@kali66 thank you - I'm sorry it was triggering for you. I think I need them to help me with some new ideas of how to cope with everything/how to lift my mood. I feel like I'm doing everything I possibly can. I know they don't have a magic wand or anything. I just need to let go but I can't.
@helenhall thank you. I am lucky to have some amazing friends who do just sit with me.
@linnypinny thank you x
@hellie thank you - I'm there, chilling in my car!
@aecasey thank you so much xxx
@pyrrhula thank you x