11/28/23
What small thing that happened today are you grateful for?
Sometimes, in spite of forcing yourself to stop and look at all the negatives in comparison to the good things, when you can see that the scale tips heavily to the side of being blessed, it isn’t enough to keep me from feeling overwhelmed and depressed. It’s hard to keep from the dark thoughts and the fears and loneliness even in a crowd. November is often like that and this one has been especially difficult. So many days when getting up and forcing myself to take a shower is harder than it should be. But music is a lifeline. And my family often leaves sounding stressed, goes to choir and comes back singing and laughing.
Today the movies did that for us. We went to see the third Trolls movie. The first two were energetic, musical and very positive. This one also served to energize me and I came home happier than I left, singing and teasing Daisy and greeting the dog. Movies are hard for me though, sitting without moving, or standing more than 20 minutes both trigger muscle spasms and pain. The theater was not crowded but still there were plenty of other people, so I held Greg’s hand, gritted my teeth until it felt like they would shatter and screamed silently, kicking my feet around to make my nerves think I was moving. And then the soundtrack would catch me up and carry me, like the pain meds never really do.
