“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Which may be true, but not entirely. But there was a bit of guilt carried over from my childhood. My parents indulged me a lot and my grandparents compounded that. My mom was also depressed and anxious and didn’t like anyone else doing jobs she considered hers or being in her kitchen, but also didn’t like doing everything. So she would chase you out if you offered to help, but then get angry that “nobody else lifted a finger.” My Dad worked hard, and was proud of me for my grades and my love of books, but still would see me reading when he was feeling stressed and mutter, “Damned lazy kid.”
so being busy made me afraid someone would criticize the job I was doing, but being relaxed and lazy felt like a bad thing too. I still struggle to work hard when I’m working and being ok with my best just being “good enough” and being relaxed when I’m being lazy without being guilty at the same time.
Nevertheless, I am thankful for the fact that my life has been filled with the opportunity to be so lazy I become bored. I argue about it with the granddaughter but I believe firmly, that one’s brain must first become so bored that it seeks to entertain itself, and then you enter into the creative universe, stretching your imagination and the things you are willing to consider, and then trying them.
My favorite lazy days are spent sleeping in, then padding out barefoot to get a cup of coffee and sit in silence with it in a house where people I love are either sleeping or chatting idly with each other, but ignoring me until at least the second cup. I’m being lazy, so I love it when Greg either starts cooking breakfast, which he is like a God of Breakfast Chef’s, or simply asks me to go out for breakfast with him to someplace that serves a late breakfast because really by now it’s almost noon.
On a perfect lazy day, we eat and talk and then go somewhere with beauty, like a beach or the redwoods or up into the mountains. We walk and admire the views, take pictures and maybe do something depending on the season or location, like swim or build a sandcastle, climb a hill or paint a picture, soak in some sun or splash in puddles or build a snowman. Then we get warm and take a nap and wake up to more food and laziness. Somewhere in there we shower and listen to music and read to each other or share a movie. We might play scrabble or Yahtzee or work on a puzzle or meet up with friends. We might stroll through a city after dark and admire the lights.
Somewhere in that perfect lazy day, there are cuddles and laughter, warmth and food, rest and loved ones and Greg. Always Greg.
