........"I'm a swan" - but wait until you get all your white feathers.
As for Lesson 1, I'm going with the suggestion of Kane @karlow75 - 'How to duck' but sadly I have no shot to illustrate it.
These swans and cygnets provided me with approx 2 hours of photographic entertainment one afternoon, not to mention all the time they've taken me to get them into order...... great opportunity!
Rosie, you did make me laugh!