Not the village by boxplayer

Not the village

Cafe culture - but not quite like the oh-so-hip village. Walthamstow definitely a town of two halves. The guy in the foreground had been shouting loudly into his mobile a few moments before in some kind of tirade. And the woman towards the back in blue and a gold hat - was having some kind of tirade also - whether to herself or someone not sure.

Seem to be in constant dread and panic at the moment. Tried reading the books on anxiety I've had stashed away for ages, but doesn't really seem to help. Think my answer is to start reframing and challenging my negative thoughts but it all seems insuperable at the moment - the panic and dread is so intense.

Did some useful stuff - bread on, bins out - and popped out for a Turkish breakfast at a local cafe. Back for a massive photo upload.
No news from mum on how her meeting went so of course I'm panicking.

12 May 2021
Walthamstow E17
So sorry you feel like that Ayla...you are obviously a bit of a worrier! I worry much more than I used to, must be a sign of the times! You need a proper holiday in new surroundings! Some people think they have to shout into a phone to be heard! 🤣
May 12th, 2021  
I'm suffering myself, I hear you.
May 12th, 2021  
I don't like people who shout in their phones either...
May 13th, 2021  
Gawd this is depressing- it’s the metal chairs! I’m so sorry about the stress. I’ve been catching up on your posts - can’t work out why your mum has gone but I hope just for a holiday. I spent about a week awake worrying about my dad & the care home and hating having to do the ‘how long can he afford to live for’ calculation. Anyway I’m going to prescribe you a change of scene - get yourself down to the coast or something for a change of air. Or Cambridge is nice- I could do you lunch so you don’t have to sit on a cold metal chair! I think we are all short of stimulation of the right kind- we’ve Adam home after he got in a right state over work. Too much WFH.
May 18th, 2021  
I don't know if you know but there is a billboard at Morden tube which has a 'thought of the day' gem written on it. 2 days ago I saved one of them which read 'Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace'. I will try to remember this, seems wise words as it is something Eddie and myself are guilty of..

Hope you're doing better today.. x
May 18th, 2021  
@blightygal @judithg oh you two are just the best, thanks so much! I'm still anxious but it's coming and going in intensity - I have 'anticipatory anxiety' apparently - fearful about things that are going to happen and not being able to bear the suspense of not knowing how they will turn out ... (and always fearing the worst). So every little 'care' or 'worry' that would just be a bit of a nuisance for some people is just magnified to ridiculous proportions ... And it just so happens there's a bit of it at the moment with flat worries and then my mum.

So she went to Finland for a week to do stuff to sell the property she's got out there. She's due back tomorrow - so of course I'm angsting about her getting deported/detained (she's Finnish not British but does have settled status - so that shouldn't happen) or turned away because she doesn't have exactly the right amount of documentation ha ha ...
May 19th, 2021  
@boxplayer Aww, you're a natural born worrier!
Am sure your mum will come home without a hiccup and hope the house sells well. Did she enjoy her trip back? How interesting to have this in your family background, can you speak Finnish or Swedish?

Anyway, go easy on yourself, not easy I know but try to only worry about things if and when they happen :-)
May 19th, 2021  
@boxplayer well as she’s an old lady she will be looked after very well! I’m a catastrophiser too - about ridiculous things sometimes & I have to pull myself together. Property things are a particular trigger - we are going to sell one we let out in Birmingham because I can’t cope with being so far away when there’s a problem. Bought it when we thought my daughter would be doing a PhD there and then she scarpered to Vancouver- even I didn’t see that coming! HRT helps as I’m not awake all night!
May 19th, 2021  
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