It was annual prize giving at my son's school this evening.
Sam won a prize for academic excellence for his exam grades in Year 10 where he achieved straight A's. I am immensely proud of him, probably more than he knows.
It was a very good evening, and Sam was presented with his prize by Daniel Ritterband, Director of Communications for the London Mayor. He is an old boy of the school, and gave an entertaining speech. He suggested 5 things that boys should strive for, the 3 key ones I thought were...
1. Stand out.
2. Have a passion for something.
3. Embrace failure.
Ove the years, I have tried to impress these self same qualities onto my boys. Rebecca and I smiled at each other when Sam said that his speech was very good!
If anyone is in doubt, yes their school was founded in 1495!
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Today was bittersweet, it also being the anniversary of my brother David's suicide in 2001, on the day of 9/11. David was mentally ill and had hung himself from a tree a few months earlier. His body was found on 7th September and he was identified by dental records on 11th September. We had been split up by divorce and a chaotic family at a very early age, and had got to know each other again in the 3 or 4 years prior to his death. I still mourn for the relationship that we were building at the time of his death.
I am sorry if this is a post that upsets or offends anyone. 365 for me is a mix of becoming a better photographer and a biography, allowing us to peel back the layers. For me, it was important to acknowledge my son's incredible academic achievement, and my brothers despair, to show the extreme highs and lows that life can throw at us all, often on the same day.
I'm sorry to hear about your brother Sean, it's a hard thing to come to terms with but congrats to your son, my brother is also a Loughborough "Old Boy" :)
Wow, I can understand how proud you must be of Sam's achievement! Tell him "Congratulations!" for me. And I'm sorry to hear about what had happened to your brother. I had an older sister who committed suicide when I was very young but old enough to feel bewildered by the sudden turn of events. Such is life, isn't it. The bitter and the sweet sometimes seem to take turns, as if they are lovers, two halves of a whole, necessarily entangled, and so all of us must accept what they have to give. Loss would not be quite so painful, so enduring, if we never learned to love.
@myautofocuslife I will tell him Livia. Your words are profound and they get right to the heart of things. I am so sorry that we share this common burden. Yes, I think the bitter and the sweet do often form an orderly queue waiing to knock the door. The older one gets the more you have to work the sweet occasions into your life at times, to balance the bitter.
Congratulations to your son on a job well done, and congratulations to you on raising such a fine young person. So very sad to hear about your brother though, how heartbreaking what a bittersweet day. Mental illness can cause such unfathomable pain and suffering for all involved. Very much appreciate your sharing both your joys and sorrows here. Take care Sean.
Very sad about your brother Sean, I wouldn't think anyone would be offended in you sharing your story, I think the more people talk about mental illness, the more understanding there will be and hopefully some lives can be saved. Congratulations to Sam, straight A's is a wonderful achievement, you should be very, very proud.
@cathy366 Thanks Cathy, I am grateful for your comments. I guess I feared that some may be upset by the explanation of how David died. Thanks for congratulating Sam, he is a very bright young man, just needs to work harder!!
I don't think you should ever apologize for your posts and feelings...they are yours!! What an accomplishment for your son. So sorry about your brother.
You mentioned David the other day in a comment. Mental illness is still so taboo, but shouldn't be. It's good that you are not burying it. For reasons I'll never know, my dad took his life 2 years ago. We weren't on speaking terms after a lot of things which had happened over the years.... although, I dare say he was a lonely person due to the way he did treat people. I guess all we can really hope is that people who see it as their only way out, now are at peace. I think one of the hardest thing for those who are the friends and family are often left with many questions which remain largely unanswered. I hope you have some peace, Sean... it can be a rough road for those left mourning.
@ozziehoffy Thank you Cassandra, I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve when I am comfortable with people, and I think it is always a good thing to understand and be understood. I had no idea about your dad, or your relationship with him and without knowing the details, there are similariities between us. I am both saddened by your loss, and grateful for your words because I know they are from the heart. It is a rough road, you are right, but the words and support of others helps enormously, and your response to my post has definitely done so. Thank you.
Congratulations with the achievements of your son. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. It seems to me that those who have experienced the lows and highs in life do value the highs so much more than those who haven't yet experienced grieve.
I noticed that you live close to or in Loughborough. I've visited Loughborough University twice and will do again in November. I've been walking around trying to find places to photograph. I've been at the war memorial, I've seen the church with the churchyard decorated by old tombstones and of course I've seen the statue with the sock. Do you have suggestions for other spots on walking distance; I'll have a few hours to spare?
Just fantastic, wish more schools encouraged 'embrace failure' utterly wonderful ideals and fabulous results!! congratulations Sam and proud parents........its worth the effort one puts in as a parent........
such a tragic story about your brother, one of my great friends did the same last year with absolutely no reason, so interesting when you post 'controversial' stuff all the really interesting comments you receive, so sad for you, god bless
@hjv Hi Hubregt, sprry fo rthe delay in responding to you. When are you over exactly. If I could I would happily show you some of the sights. You have The Great Central Steam Railway, the canals, and many of the sights dotted through my albums over the year so far. Beacon Hill gives you views across Loughborough, the list goes on.
So sorry to hear about your brother [']
You mentioned David the other day in a comment. Mental illness is still so taboo, but shouldn't be. It's good that you are not burying it. For reasons I'll never know, my dad took his life 2 years ago. We weren't on speaking terms after a lot of things which had happened over the years.... although, I dare say he was a lonely person due to the way he did treat people. I guess all we can really hope is that people who see it as their only way out, now are at peace. I think one of the hardest thing for those who are the friends and family are often left with many questions which remain largely unanswered. I hope you have some peace, Sean... it can be a rough road for those left mourning.
I noticed that you live close to or in Loughborough. I've visited Loughborough University twice and will do again in November. I've been walking around trying to find places to photograph. I've been at the war memorial, I've seen the church with the churchyard decorated by old tombstones and of course I've seen the statue with the sock. Do you have suggestions for other spots on walking distance; I'll have a few hours to spare?
such a tragic story about your brother, one of my great friends did the same last year with absolutely no reason, so interesting when you post 'controversial' stuff all the really interesting comments you receive, so sad for you, god bless