I understand that everyone has lives they have to worry about and they don't have excess time to spend wading through irrelevant notifications, but why are people acting so negatively about people saying thank you? There's comments for a reason. When you join a site like this, isn't part of the reason to be social? I have lots of things on my plate so sure, maybe if my inbox had less "thank you"s I'd appreciate it. However when I get on sites such as this one, I brace myself for notifications that I don't care about because it's impossible the completely weed out everything that everyone doesn't care about.
On DeviantArt, I used to be one of the many that didn't say thank you to people for their comments because I honestly was getting overwhelmed. I read an article that changed my mind. I can't find it to post, but basically it said that the reason for sites like this is to interact with other people and if you get annoyed by that interaction, then why are you here?
One thing I frequently see people say about 365 is how positive everyone here is. But I honestly find it a bit of a turnoff when I log on and see people complaining about social interaction. It makes things seem to me a little less positive and a lot more negative.
I'm not calling anyone out and accusing people of being bad people, I just wanted to post my two cents.
Anyone who thanks me for a comment will never bother me. I try and pick up on what others prefer...some prefer to be thanked and will thank, others do not. It's a personal choice and one I try and respect. There are people with lots of followers, so it could be an issue for them. I don't have that many, so it's all good. I'm definitely here for socializing, as I'm an amateur photographer. I love this site, and I'm completely addicted! That's my two cents...
I thank people and have no issue with irrelevant notifications, they're not irrelevant a lot of the time, in fact about half the time my reply to someone's comment on my photo is in reference to what they said, even if it's just an offhand joke...
I also like comment conversations...
One reason people complain though is probably the notification system, it's a good system, not bloated and convoluted BUT more than five or six notifications and it gets tricky, especially if a person commented on more than one thing...
"Thanks!" isn't really social interaction though, is it? Where can you go from there? "You're welcome!"...?
People are annoyed because it's empty. It contains no message, no meaning, no anything. Sure it's "polite" but it doesn't serve the discussion, it doesn't move things on, and just annoys you when you've gone off expecting to see something worth being notified about and all it is is an empty message, to which you can't respond, and doesn't teach you anything.
If my post is read in the wrong way It'll make me sound pretty militant, but see here: I'm not being militant, merely aiming for pragmatism in trying to explain precisely why people get annoyed.
Hmmmm .... without going through all the topics, my guess would be to inform their followers that they don't want to see thank you's. Posting a topic is the only way to reach a lot of people at the same time. I guess if I was following them and they asked that we don't thank them then I would do my best not to do it. They don't want to see it.
Does that mean they don't want to interact with us? Probably not because this person must be getting lots of thank-yous for their comments. They don't need someone to say thank-you. So, Ok.
I dont always have time to reply with Thank You to comments but I try to, If People say Thank You to Me then thats nice of them but if they dont I just see it as they have busy lives like I do.
@manek43509 I know, and in normal face-to-face day-to-day conversation it's all well and good, and greases the wheels of interaction. On the web in a large environment where there are potentially dozens of things wanting your attention, they can, after a while, become a bit of a drain. That's all. If all one got in terms of notifications were things saying "Thanks!" they'd soon get bored of it, I'm sure.
@dmortega Dorrena, I see the settings, but there is not a tick box specifically to replies to comments, if that makes sense. It would be easy to add just another opt in or out notification. Everything in the notification settings at the moment is all in regards to the individual's photo or a disccsion they start. They cannot opt out of recieving replies from others photos.
This argument seems to be a regular reoccuring theme on here.
Someone needs to come up with a list of all the people who don't want to be thanked for their comments. Just so people like me don't keep offending them because obviously it seems to be a major epidemic on this site.
I personally thank people because I don't get that many comments on my stuff and it makes me pretty pleased with myself that someone actually took the time to admire my work and took even more time to comment on it.
But I guess people want us to stop thanking them for taking the time to comment on something, just so they can save time and not have to sift through thank yous. Makes sense....on opposite day...
So if someone could please make this list and mail it to me so I don't have to read of all the people bitching about a polite remark, that would be awesome, because you want to know what is a bigger waste of time than Thank you comments - these threads about unhappy people over a simple thank you.
What the hell happened to this site? This place has become an ANTI-social website. When I first started this project everyone was so nice and helpful. I leave for a while, whilst my camera gets fixed and I come back to a total attitude change. Everyone is so negative and bitchy. People bashing artistically tasteful nude photos, others calling those who edit their photos not real photographers, more bitching and quitting because they aren't making the Popular Page/not getting the recognition they believe they "deserve" and now the word Thanks has become a nuisance. If you can't handle whats on your plate then EMPTY IT!! If that means dumping some of your followers, then DO SO, if that means you will get your panties out of a bunch!!
I always try and make another comment after a thank you, if it is in response to a question or a statement, or more information about the photo. I'm not sure if this makes it any better? But I don't get a huge amount of comments, and I am grateful for them. It just seems a bit rude to me to not respond to them all, but if I had lots of comments then I probably wouldn't. If that makes sense?
Just wanted to say THANK YOU because I have new comments on my photos and now don't know whether or not I should be polite and say thanks and risk stirring up unsettled embers and catching the site on fire again, or if I should just ignore their comment. So THANK YOU to all the whiners out there who couldn't just suck it up!
Sorry for all the rants but lately coming onto this site has just been making my blood boil. I used to love coming here for all the positive feedback, suggestions, tips, etc, but now all it seems to be is negativity.
I understand that it ends interaction, but so does 'have a nice day" There's nothing left to say after that either except maybe, "You too" We could always suggest a "Thanks" button and have a special separate "Thanks" notification bar that you can just ignore if Thanks is beneath you, but how would that be any different than a "like" button?? Just be happy that people still have common courtesy in this world. Lord knows we lost every other form of decency. Someone told you "Thanks" Boo freaking who, move on with your life.
I'm one of those people who say thank you and although I've tried to stop I can't help it.
In saying that though, most times I TRY to give more than just a thank. Sometimes it just doesn't work though.
When I started here I didn't know the etiquette, so I went by example, so many people I came across were thanking people & thanking me so I did the same. Then I saw a couple of these threads & I worried...I didn't want to be an irratant so I stopped, then I would try to comment back to serious critques, comments, or questions...then again I saw so many people thanking each other & thanking me so I sort of went back....now I am just confused =( don't want to offend either way but to tell it true I have been a tad busy so I have been limiting my thanks because of that but doesn't mean I am any less grateful.
I feel a lot better now after all my rants. For the record, no matter how much people bitch, I'm not going to stop thanking people for paying me compliments! I'm not going to feel bad for paying respect and expressing my gratitude. Of course, if you don't have time then don't worry about it. There's no need for apologies or to feel bad if you don't say thanks, likewise you shouldn't have to feel bad for saying it either.
If someone famous called you out and said "Hey, I really like your work," would you not thank them? You would feel honored that someone well known admired your hard work and mentioned it. How is that any different than this? Other than some of us here aren't "famous."
Do what works for you. If you don't have time to comment back then don't. If you want to say thanks, then say thanks. If you don't like it when someone says thanks, oh well. Get over it. It only takes 2 seconds to click the notification, see all they wanted to say was thank you, and move on. Stop making people feel bad, they can do whatever they want! Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but you can't always get what you want.
@killerjackalope
ok I will put it nicer, it is too bad that vulgarity has to creep into a project that many children use. In case anyone is wondering I am speaking of the (comic) that is in an earlier post
Admittedly it's got a naughty word in it but I'd hardly call it distasteful and vulgar.
Before this gets in to some ridiculous debate I will say that I'm a staffer on a big site that has to tread the same line and have never had any issues...
A single isolated swear word being used in a context like that isn't exactly shocking, hell even day time TV's been catching up on that...
Oh and by the way, around the point you decided to state your lack of apology for offending then attempt to offend me is about the point you nullified your own argument.
Also, considering the thread and the recent ones about it, you're just trolling...
@rrt In Adam's defense no where does it say this is a family site. Its a photography site. Just because there may be younger profiles on here does not in any way make it a family site. There are no rules against language. If this was infact a family site there would be some sort of rules instated along with ramifications for violating said rules. There are none, therefore its not a family site. And like I said on another thread with a similar dilemma: every site a kid views on the internet should be monitored by the parent.
I've made the same comment every time this topic comes up (a lot). I don't mind getting thanked but I'd really rather if those same people would take the time to look at my photos and comment instead - even if it's the last one I posted. Of course, maybe they do - and hate them - so choose to say nothing. Very possible. :)
@soxfansara@kcphotography very well said in all your posts above. I joined this project with two other friends - they both dropped out the first time this thread started as they were both appalled that people would ever complain about being thanked. I too don't get it but continued on with the project. I will continue to thank whoever and whenever I choose. I like to be thanked but if someone chooses not to thank me then so be it.
The notifications mechanism was to notify you of comments. Then one person started using it for thanks and then everyone was doing it and anyone coming onto the site followed what they saw to be the etiquette. Before that we were thanking each other differently, more effectively and more meaningfully.
I think it fascinating that people take a request that a more meaningful mechanism of thanking be used or release people from the obligation of thanking be taken as a personal affront and respond by telling those making the request that they are 'bitching' (horrid word) or 'being negative'. The first is just being pragmatic ....considerate even and, as such just about as polite as you can get.
It is about the wrong MECHANISM being used that makes thanking FEEL impolite for those on the receiving end of the multiple thanking. If the person intended their thanks be received as a positive gesture, then surely it is helpful for you to know that it doesn't FEEL that way and are given the opportunity to do it in another way that achieves your objective of being polite and showing gratitude, whilst respecting the other's view. It's a WIN WIN result if the mechanism used to thank is done in such a way that those being thanked like it and those thanking feel they have been polite and grateful. At the same time everyone can have more time for viewing, commenting and taking great shots, which is the priority here.
I think the suggestion may have been made more forcefully of late because of the negative reaction and that people had misunderstood what lay behind the request. Perhaps there were one or two words that might have been better selected but people shout louder when they are not heard or are misinterpreted.
It took me a while to respond to the first such request of not to use the notifications for thanking or feel obliged to thank. I felt really uncomfortable. Afterall, like most of you, good manners are a fundamental principle for me. But then I realised, as the volume of notifications became unmanageable the thank yous were preventing me from learning about the much more thought out comments on my pictures, that the SYSTEM wasn't working.
As such, I did as had been suggested and switched my thank yous to the commentary of the subsequent image I uploaded. I have noticed a whole lot of other 365ers doing the same, giving more fullsome and meaningful thanks and something more specifically personal thanks in their next comment to me. It works beautifully and i am ESPECIALLY GRATEFUL to those who, like me, went out of their comfort zone to do this.
Others have simply released themselves from the obligation of thanking and I know they are glad to receive comments. Both things work brilliantly. Everyone is happy. The thankers thank, the grateful know that their gratitude is felt and those who never thanked in the first place are puzzled by all the fuss. At the end of it everyone feels respected. And since people are concerned maintaining politeness, I would venture that the most polite thing you can do is put yourself in the shoes of others and understand where they are coming from and respond accordingly.
My own request to followers and commenters, when responding to my images, was a very positive and constructive one based on my experience of being uncomfortable with not thanking, but recognising that the system was undermining the whole meaning of thanking with its current usage. I hope that clarifies things for those who continue to insist on seeing this request as a negative one. We even feel that 'gratitude' given via notifications is demeaned by the multiply thanking, so we revere thanking and would maintain its meaning - which I think is what we all want, no?
I think it would be really good if this whole subject was put to bed if the pros and cons of using the different mechanisms of thanking was written up as a standard article that newbies were urged to read. I would have found it very useful. I wonder if Ross @scrivener could think about that one.
@kjarn Good thing you continue and I'm sorry to hear that your friends stopped posting on here. Your project your rules; do what you deem is proper. This group is very diverse, we all came from different walks of life. Nobody can make one rule for every 365er to follow. We see things differently. We all need tolerance and acceptance. If they don't like to be thanked, they should stop commenting on that person's photos, as simple as that.
sorry i always say thank you to people for their comments, depending on what is said can lead to a brief conversation between us which is nice.
but if you put nice shot, or great shot - its a closed comment so youre only going to get a thanks. but if you say whats nice etc, you get more meaningful stuff to look forward to in your in box!
I think it's been said before, more than once, and will be said again. I believe everyone here is thankful when someone views/ comments on their work.
wondering how many times this will come up... I think its a once a month thread? Has any one searched it?
Hmmmm .... this has gotten quite long. I think it's a fair request if someone asks we don't reply with just a 'thank you'. If you have something else to add then go for it but we've been asked not to do it. It's respectful to honor the request.
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I also like comment conversations...
One reason people complain though is probably the notification system, it's a good system, not bloated and convoluted BUT more than five or six notifications and it gets tricky, especially if a person commented on more than one thing...
I'm all for the socialising...
People are annoyed because it's empty. It contains no message, no meaning, no anything. Sure it's "polite" but it doesn't serve the discussion, it doesn't move things on, and just annoys you when you've gone off expecting to see something worth being notified about and all it is is an empty message, to which you can't respond, and doesn't teach you anything.
If my post is read in the wrong way It'll make me sound pretty militant, but see here: I'm not being militant, merely aiming for pragmatism in trying to explain precisely why people get annoyed.
:)
@aj1268 Yes, I respect people's choices too. I just seems kinda odd to me :B
@killerjackalope *nod*
Does that mean they don't want to interact with us? Probably not because this person must be getting lots of thank-yous for their comments. They don't need someone to say thank-you. So, Ok.
@eyebrows Thanks for the comment. I suppose that makes sense. Still it seems to me that even though it's a bit empty, it's still interaction.
@dmortega That makes sense :-d
I don't really think that matters. Good manners aren't supposed to "go somewhere", necessarily - doesn't mean we can just forget them.
@manek43509 I know, and in normal face-to-face day-to-day conversation it's all well and good, and greases the wheels of interaction. On the web in a large environment where there are potentially dozens of things wanting your attention, they can, after a while, become a bit of a drain. That's all. If all one got in terms of notifications were things saying "Thanks!" they'd soon get bored of it, I'm sure.
Then people can opt in or out..
This argument seems to be a regular reoccuring theme on here.
I personally thank people because I don't get that many comments on my stuff and it makes me pretty pleased with myself that someone actually took the time to admire my work and took even more time to comment on it.
But I guess people want us to stop thanking them for taking the time to comment on something, just so they can save time and not have to sift through thank yous. Makes sense....on opposite day...
So if someone could please make this list and mail it to me so I don't have to read of all the people bitching about a polite remark, that would be awesome, because you want to know what is a bigger waste of time than Thank you comments - these threads about unhappy people over a simple thank you.
What the hell happened to this site? This place has become an ANTI-social website. When I first started this project everyone was so nice and helpful. I leave for a while, whilst my camera gets fixed and I come back to a total attitude change. Everyone is so negative and bitchy. People bashing artistically tasteful nude photos, others calling those who edit their photos not real photographers, more bitching and quitting because they aren't making the Popular Page/not getting the recognition they believe they "deserve" and now the word Thanks has become a nuisance. If you can't handle whats on your plate then EMPTY IT!! If that means dumping some of your followers, then DO SO, if that means you will get your panties out of a bunch!!
@killerjackalope nice comic xD
Infomercial time...
*I'm pretty sure that comment will have me on a watch list of some kind...*
Sorry for all the rants but lately coming onto this site has just been making my blood boil. I used to love coming here for all the positive feedback, suggestions, tips, etc, but now all it seems to be is negativity.
I understand that it ends interaction, but so does 'have a nice day" There's nothing left to say after that either except maybe, "You too" We could always suggest a "Thanks" button and have a special separate "Thanks" notification bar that you can just ignore if Thanks is beneath you, but how would that be any different than a "like" button?? Just be happy that people still have common courtesy in this world. Lord knows we lost every other form of decency. Someone told you "Thanks" Boo freaking who, move on with your life.
@soxfansara We'll be rich and have made the world a better place...
@kcphotography I still say thank you. If people don't like it then whatever. You can't accommodate everyone.
In saying that though, most times I TRY to give more than just a thank. Sometimes it just doesn't work though.
I feel a lot better now after all my rants. For the record, no matter how much people bitch, I'm not going to stop thanking people for paying me compliments! I'm not going to feel bad for paying respect and expressing my gratitude. Of course, if you don't have time then don't worry about it. There's no need for apologies or to feel bad if you don't say thanks, likewise you shouldn't have to feel bad for saying it either.
If someone famous called you out and said "Hey, I really like your work," would you not thank them? You would feel honored that someone well known admired your hard work and mentioned it. How is that any different than this? Other than some of us here aren't "famous."
ok I will put it nicer, it is too bad that vulgarity has to creep into a project that many children use. In case anyone is wondering I am speaking of the (comic) that is in an earlier post
Admittedly it's got a naughty word in it but I'd hardly call it distasteful and vulgar.
Before this gets in to some ridiculous debate I will say that I'm a staffer on a big site that has to tread the same line and have never had any issues...
A single isolated swear word being used in a context like that isn't exactly shocking, hell even day time TV's been catching up on that...
Oh and by the way, around the point you decided to state your lack of apology for offending then attempt to offend me is about the point you nullified your own argument.
Also, considering the thread and the recent ones about it, you're just trolling...
Can't
We
Be
Friends?!
;D
Peace, my friends, peace.
@killerjackalope - fabulous comic - very funny!
The notifications mechanism was to notify you of comments. Then one person started using it for thanks and then everyone was doing it and anyone coming onto the site followed what they saw to be the etiquette. Before that we were thanking each other differently, more effectively and more meaningfully.
I think it fascinating that people take a request that a more meaningful mechanism of thanking be used or release people from the obligation of thanking be taken as a personal affront and respond by telling those making the request that they are 'bitching' (horrid word) or 'being negative'. The first is just being pragmatic ....considerate even and, as such just about as polite as you can get.
It is about the wrong MECHANISM being used that makes thanking FEEL impolite for those on the receiving end of the multiple thanking. If the person intended their thanks be received as a positive gesture, then surely it is helpful for you to know that it doesn't FEEL that way and are given the opportunity to do it in another way that achieves your objective of being polite and showing gratitude, whilst respecting the other's view. It's a WIN WIN result if the mechanism used to thank is done in such a way that those being thanked like it and those thanking feel they have been polite and grateful. At the same time everyone can have more time for viewing, commenting and taking great shots, which is the priority here.
I think the suggestion may have been made more forcefully of late because of the negative reaction and that people had misunderstood what lay behind the request. Perhaps there were one or two words that might have been better selected but people shout louder when they are not heard or are misinterpreted.
It took me a while to respond to the first such request of not to use the notifications for thanking or feel obliged to thank. I felt really uncomfortable. Afterall, like most of you, good manners are a fundamental principle for me. But then I realised, as the volume of notifications became unmanageable the thank yous were preventing me from learning about the much more thought out comments on my pictures, that the SYSTEM wasn't working.
As such, I did as had been suggested and switched my thank yous to the commentary of the subsequent image I uploaded. I have noticed a whole lot of other 365ers doing the same, giving more fullsome and meaningful thanks and something more specifically personal thanks in their next comment to me. It works beautifully and i am ESPECIALLY GRATEFUL to those who, like me, went out of their comfort zone to do this.
Others have simply released themselves from the obligation of thanking and I know they are glad to receive comments. Both things work brilliantly. Everyone is happy. The thankers thank, the grateful know that their gratitude is felt and those who never thanked in the first place are puzzled by all the fuss. At the end of it everyone feels respected. And since people are concerned maintaining politeness, I would venture that the most polite thing you can do is put yourself in the shoes of others and understand where they are coming from and respond accordingly.
My own request to followers and commenters, when responding to my images, was a very positive and constructive one based on my experience of being uncomfortable with not thanking, but recognising that the system was undermining the whole meaning of thanking with its current usage. I hope that clarifies things for those who continue to insist on seeing this request as a negative one. We even feel that 'gratitude' given via notifications is demeaned by the multiply thanking, so we revere thanking and would maintain its meaning - which I think is what we all want, no?
I think it would be really good if this whole subject was put to bed if the pros and cons of using the different mechanisms of thanking was written up as a standard article that newbies were urged to read. I would have found it very useful. I wonder if Ross @scrivener could think about that one.
Happy 365ing.
@indiannie_jones Remember my blame issues? I'm hiring him to stand beside me all the time...
You're excluded from the being set alight...
@indiannie_jones Get me my liquor!
I'm either gonna burn a retard or he's gonna retard a burn...
Wellllll, it is @eyebrows birthday tomorrow... what better way to celebrate than by erm, being on fire?
@eyebrows Your face is about to get a whole lot more flammable...
Sorry, princess... happy birthday? @eyebrows
oh and Thank you.... :)
but if you put nice shot, or great shot - its a closed comment so youre only going to get a thanks. but if you say whats nice etc, you get more meaningful stuff to look forward to in your in box!
wondering how many times this will come up... I think its a once a month thread? Has any one searched it?