the fifth horseman by graemestevens

the fifth horseman

It's not common knowledge but most well read scholars will confirm that there are indeed five Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They are War, Famine, Plague, Death and Slightly Peculiar.
Slightly Peculiar has only ridden out with the other four on one occasion, at the very beginning of the First Apocalypse, however it soon became apparent that he just wasn't taking things seriously and had an annoying habit of stopping for a cup of Dilmah at the most inopportune moments, so the Four decided to strip him of any active responsibilities and to this day insist that he only participate in any further Apocalypes's's's as an observer, and even then from a distance.
As an aside, there are Apocalypse's's's every day - in fact just last week M'Bongo Tchlacka, Fourth of the name and Chosen Ruler of his people, the Bongongo Tribe, had a very personal Apocalypse when Desdemona, his seventh wife, in a fit of jealously hit him over the head with a cast iron fry pan just as Sthula'ong, his second wife shot him in the back with an arrow after a short and decidedly chaotic argument over the installation of a heat pump in the second yurt from the left.
Slightly Peculiar has since changed his name to Earnest Fotheringay and runs a small but reasonably unsuccessful firm in Greater London as a Private Inflatable Toy Inflater. His favourite is the unicorn as it has two places to sit and tastes like cheap candy.
A private toy inflator, destroyer of the climate and all things unsustainability is the new world fifth horseman!
December 2nd, 2021  
Very similar stories to what I hear at work every day.
December 2nd, 2021  
Oh yeah! Unicorns rule!
December 2nd, 2021  
I will take the five horses...you can keep the horsemen! :)
December 2nd, 2021  
Yes.................
December 2nd, 2021  
You certainly do know your eschatology, Graeme! Great composition! ;)
December 2nd, 2021  
Wacky & wild :)
December 2nd, 2021  
Always a delight to discover your pictures. And today you spoil us with a derailing story :-). Please continue, the entertainment is wonderful.
December 2nd, 2021  
Lol, brilliant shot and hilarious story!
December 2nd, 2021  
@jacqbb I'm not sure what came over me...
@corinnec I've been derailed for years!
@pdulis I prefer Strange and Unfocussed ;)
@juliedduncan Don't you worry, I can Eschat with the best of 'em!
@cutekitty I wouldn't have thought so but I'll take 2 just in case.
@gardenfolk You drive a hard bargain - I'll throw in two cucumbers and half a goat.
@monikozi It's funny you should say that - they used to rule, at least until the Great Shetland Pony uprising of 1491. It's a story for another time but suffice to say the ponies, tired of the iron fisted (hooved?) rule of the Unicorns rose up and with unbridled (I knew I could get a horse joke in there) passion fought for their freedom. The few unicorns who did escape the carnage fled to Africa where they try to live a peaceful life. These days we call them Rhino's - they really are unicorns, it's just that they refuse to take off their armour as you can never be too certain about when a Shetland Pony might show up...
@kjarn Good lord, where do you work?
@christinav You're probably right, but he hasn't signed the Employment Contract yet so we're not talking about him.
December 2nd, 2021  
@graemestevens lol, your answers are so off the wall:-))
December 2nd, 2021  
@corinnec I actually wrote them at the table ;)
December 2nd, 2021  
Aaawww... the best story ever! I knew they were real. Thank you so much!
December 2nd, 2021  
I’m a mental health nurse
December 2nd, 2021  
hahahahaha...
December 2nd, 2021  
Seven wives ... oh no!
December 2nd, 2021  
The unicorn rules! lol
December 3rd, 2021  
Great story and awesome capture
December 3rd, 2021  
You made my day
December 3rd, 2021  
@jgpittenger I'm so sorry - it won't happen again!
@swchappell And they call me mad... ;)
@radiogirl see my answer to @monikozi
@haskar And those are the ones we know about!
@sugarmuser Yes please, I'll take two ;)
@kjarn I trained as a nurse back in the late 80's (no, really)...gave it up as I didn't like where I had to put my fingers.
@monikozi It's the least I could do ;)
December 3rd, 2021  
Excellent image and words. They are the highlight of my morning.
December 3rd, 2021  
the plastic unicorn 🤣 really amused me! aces!
December 3rd, 2021  
@summerfield I'm so sorry, it won't happen again...because I popped him.
@fotoblah That doesn't bode well for your morning...
December 4th, 2021  
@myzsteriousmizsterjones It's very much a case of "whatever fits on the business card"
December 7th, 2021  
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