Backpacking

So here you see the animal print clothing Mom loved to dress her “little Pebbles” in – although I was rowdy enough at times to remind her more of Bam Bam. When I was a toddler we lived in Cheyenne, Wyoming and one of the things my parents loved to do was go out hiking. There are a lot of lovely places around there and one of them is the amazing rock formations around Vedauwoo. I remember riding on my Dad’s shoulders, but I also remember Mom and Dad taking a hold on each of my wrists and telling me to jump, and then they would fly me between them for several yards before lightly landing me on my feet and I’d beg “again.”
I didn’t have any siblings. Mom had a miscarriage 8 months before I was born. And then even though she was only 24 when I was born, she went into early menopause and it looked like my parents would be my only playmates.
Well I found a playmate in the big Airdale dog next door. He was a vicious guard dog, who loved me, but if I got over and under his belly, Mom had to wait until his owners returned because he’d threaten anyone else who came near me.
And then when I was 2 we moved back to my Mom’s hometown of Cody, Wyoming to be close to her parents. It was actually Dad’s idea, because he had so many siblings but mom was an only child and he wanted her parents to be around their only grandchild.
My parents were really good parents, but they were not perfect. Mom had never been around babies and became depressed and convinced that a child could never love her. She had a rough time for a couple of years, and I grew up both afraid of, and in love with her. Dad had a sense of play, a great sense of humor and a strong work ethic, but he also was raised in Pittsburgh, PA in a time when racist language and prejudice were not even questioned. He named our black poodle, that “N word” and balled Brazil nuts “N…..Toes” and told racist jokes about every nationality and race including his own, Polish Jokes, Hungarian Jokes, Mexican, Asian, Black – he was very willing to laugh and tell stereotyped stories about everyone. You would never hear him doubting the “stereotype that ______ do not value life like we do”

And yet . . . everytime he met a person from another background or culture, he was polite and friendly and then surprised. Everyone he met was an exception to the stereotype – and he never quite realized that by making friends with his diverse co-workers, and telling us, “____is Bad –except this one” he was really reaching us that all stereotypical judgments are not to be trusted and individuals can surprise you in good ways.

[summerfield]

you still have the same smile, dixie. this is a lovely picture of you and your dad.

even in the old country there were stark prejudices by the people. there was a black family in a big house at the corner of our street, and kids would always throw stones at them. there was also a jewish family who owned a convenience store and i've always wondered how they stayed in business because nobody ever wanted to buy from them. they laughed at the chinese vendor and treated them so badly it was crazy. i never understood it, especially that i was friendly with the jewish boy and the black girl, and the chinese vendor was always giving freebies to me and my sister. i understood that i shouldn't be friendly with the bad kids who thieved around and swore and gambled, but a decent kids, just because they had different coloured skin or 'nose' or 'eyes', i never understood it.

[Ann H. LeFevre]

I have come to the opinion that it doesn't matter what culture or background you come from there is always "another" that you learn to not accept. But I have also learned that most people will put those prejudices aside on the personal level if given the chance or opportunity and children are the best at doing it because they only have a little drop of it at the start. At least your dad did not refuse to get to know people of a different race or background. He may have had some rough edges but he didn't cling to them. That's admirable.