Harvey and Ruth Nelson lived next door to us on Coolidge Avenue. They did not have any children of their own, so my sisters and I became the children they never had.
Harvey was a graphic artist and he worked out of a studio in his home. Ruth was a homemaker and they both loved working in the garden. Their yard was perfectly trimmed and the edge of their backyard was a massive wall of Rhododendron and Mountain Laurel bushes. The little fish pond had a statue that sprayed water out of its mouth and "tikki" style torches that could be lit in the evening. I was fascinated with the fish and as you can see could often be found stooping by the edge of the pond to look in on them. One time I was so intent on watching the fish, I lost my balance and tumbled into the water. Thankfully Harvey's strong hands reached in and scooped me out before I even knew what happened!
As I grew older I would often visit Harvey while he was working in his studio. He would put together little booklets made out of drawing board and let me write my own stories with pictures in them. I loved sitting at his desk and using his drawing pencils. And when I was in fifth grade the school librarian actually let me put them in the school library so other students could check them out!
My sister Diana and I also loved to play dress-up in Ruth's closet. She had the prettiest clothes! I remember one pair of shoes which were a pretty yellow and had daisies made out of straw glued on them.
Each holiday Ruth and Harvey would put together some of the most amazing presents for us- always creative and full of fun- a little sleigh with Christmas dollies made out of cotton ball snow, a record console made of gold-speckled formica and a golden speaker grill, or a special shopping trip for coats with fur collars or patent-leather shoes. And at Halloween, they'd dress up in costume and turn their basement into a spooky witch's house- decorated with cobwebs, spiders and bats! One year they even made Cleopatra costumes for us.
But for all the creativity and beauty surrounding them, there was an underlying sadness which we were too young to know about. One day I came home from school and my mother gently informed me that we would not be seeing Ruth anymore. It was a puzzling statement. Mom did her best to explain that after struggling with depression for a lengthy time, Ruth had taken her own life. It was a strange feeling to think of someone "killing themselves" and I did not completely understand the hows and whys back then. I can't say I understand any better now. But little did I know back then that Ruth's suicide would be the first of eight suicides which would touch my life either directly or indirectly over the years.
We had never heard the word suicide when growing up! Same with 'divorce" Grew up in a wonderful and sheltered life, maybe strong enough to do with the realities of today!
A sad end to a nice story. One never understands fully the logic and or reason behind the act of suicide. To some it is a selfish and cowardly act, but without really understanding the apparent loss of all hope, it remains a puzzle. For those of us who have experienced such a loss, it weighs heavy, and it moves us to a higher awareness of how precious life is.
I came out one morning to find my mom crying over the news that her friend had killed herself. Mom said, "I think sometimes that I want to die but in the morning I feel better. She will never have that morning to feel better now."
@maggiemae Thank you Maggie. Yes, many new definitions and terms have come around. I don't know if having things out in the open is always good, but in this case, I think it is. For those struggling, it lets them know they are not alone, and hopefully they'll get help.
@salza Thank you Sally. Yes, it is very hard to understand, but I think for our friends and family who battle the emotions and circumstances that lead to it, it is imperative that we try.
@digitalrn Thank you Rick. Well said, and very true.
@pandorasecho Thank you Dixie. Your mother spoke wisely and truthfully. And I think her words are a beautiful summary of how those of us who are effected by a close suicide feel.
Precious story with a sad ending. Depression and suicide have touched my life several times. Your words and your mother's words touch me. A beautiful photo to show the wonderful relationship before the tragic end of Ruth's life.
@daisymiller Thank you Daisy. Yes, it was a sad story, especially for Harvey. He adored her. But he did meet someone and married again. We moved away shortly after that and lost touch with him. I think it was hard for him to see us girls as we were such a part of their lives together. I bumped into him one day after I was married and he hardly recognized me, but I knew it was him right away. He was obviously uncomfortable so I kept it light and quick. Life has a way of going in that direction sometimes. But I am thankful for the role he played in my life during my childhood.
Lovely photo Ann and what a story. So tragic that she took her own life. I had a cousin who did that the day before my birthday back in 2003. So nobody remembers my birthday anymore. They all think of it as the time when she left us. I still have very mixed emotions over it. I know it was 11 years ago but it doesn't leave you. So sorry you had to learn at such a young age like that.
@francoise Thank you Francoise! I'm pretty sure Harvey took this. He was a talented photographer. @prttblues Thank you Bev! That's too bad. Jeff's brother and my former student both took their lives around Easter- so for many the same things happen. You loose sight of everything special in the season thinking about the sorrow of your loss.
@salza Thank you Sally. Yes, it is very hard to understand, but I think for our friends and family who battle the emotions and circumstances that lead to it, it is imperative that we try.
@digitalrn Thank you Rick. Well said, and very true.
@pandorasecho Thank you Dixie. Your mother spoke wisely and truthfully. And I think her words are a beautiful summary of how those of us who are effected by a close suicide feel.
@kerristephens Thank you Kerri.
@lynnz Thank you Lynn. Neither did we.
@prttblues Thank you Bev! That's too bad. Jeff's brother and my former student both took their lives around Easter- so for many the same things happen. You loose sight of everything special in the season thinking about the sorrow of your loss.