I'm so not sure what to say here...I owe you all and update but I don't know how to do so...
Things have progressed and not in a good way. They have been honest in giving me an outlook for my future and I feel I can only blame myself. I've had a lot of tests and specialists to try and get me stable enough for surgery (I'm going to need at least 2 - maybe 3 operations asap. Ive been very distressed by all of these things and to add to it in the 2 and a half weeks I've been in hospital so far I've had only 1 visitor, a friend of mine (bless her) and just a few phone calls from my husband (no other friends txts or calls from anyone family included) so I am emotionally hurt too. Probably deeper than the physical side of things. I really really don't know what to do from here...
Please don't feel sad for me, I shed enough tears for all of us :) I also believe God has a plan and a purpose for everyones life as it is written in scripture. That includes me too so as much as it hurts I accept there is something good to come from everything. I hope I have said this okay, not too much, not to grim. It is just the facts and Im not one to pretty things over. However I am a fighter, I have fought before and I will keep fighting now..Little Miss Stubborn can be my new name :)
Recently I have regretted it ever getting known on 365 as I'm scared people will run, especially now with the progression of things and I don't want anyone feeling sorry/sad or bad for me. There are many on 365 (and in the "outside world" ) enduring much worse things, we are all given our battles to fight. On the other hand the project and all of you who have encouraged me has been the biggest blessing by far and I don't think I'd be coping anywhere near as well without that support.
I don't know you...but now you know who your friends are ! Things will get better, they always do !! I don't know what your health problems are but it doesn't matter ! One thing about on-line friends is that they are usually always there !!! You're in my thoughts...whoever you are !!!!
I'm so sorry you've had few visitors and poor family support. You sound as though you have a strong faith and maybe some visits from your local church or the hospital chaplain would help. I know we all think of you and love your very strong photos but some real hugs are what you obviously need. How can you blame yourself for an illness? Unless it is self induced which it doesn't sound like. People 'run' because they don't know what to say or they are embarrased or maybe they have troubles enough of their own. If people don't actually say anything it's not because they don't care, it may be because they might ramble on like me!! LOL I have been in a very lonely place myself in the past and it does seem you will be there forever but dig deep Sarah, have strength and faith and you will see the other side of life eventually. I started off just wanting to say from the other side of the pond that I am thinking of you but as usual I've wrtitten far too much. Prayers to you Sarah.
You're a very strong woman, and I admire your strength in the face of so much adversity. I think we all need an outlet and we all need support, and this group is wonderful for that. Although we may be strangers, we can't help but learn about each other's lives through our projects and we come to take an interest in, and care about, the people we meet here. You've got a lot of people thinking of, and praying for, you.
You amaze me, Sarah Jane, and I feel privileged to be getting to know you through your photography and your thoughtful comments. I'm so glad that you're part of the 365 community.
Bless your heart...sending you positive thoughts and prayers...I am also glad you got involved in this project..I think it is a wonderful outlet for you and a caring supportive community for you to be part of...take care...love you photos by the way!! :)
I know you said not to be sad for you, but I can't help being. It sounds horrible being on your own at such a tough time. Please don't regret sharing this news with us here on 365 - we aren't going to turn away. I know we don't really know you, but I think it's fair to say we all care and hope that you soon get some good news. In the mean time, please hang in there and I'll be thinking of you. :-)
I wish we could set up some virtual visits to you in your hospital room. You need some good old-fashioned companionship. Thinking of you and your wonderful spirit.
Wish I could be with you in person....hug you and share with you what others might not like to hear...I have gone through a lot of ups and downs in my life and have come out on top.....try to stay positive, this is very important....will give you some of my "squareheadedness "you asked about....German are being nicknamed "Squareheads" as they seem to want to know everything better , are stubborn and as they say "go with there heads through the wall."...something like that anyway. then of course the second nick name is "Krauts" because we like our Sauerkraut. I hope this cheered you up a bit.. will be thinking and praying for for.
Sarah, As I said before, you are in my thoughts and prayers, and they continue. Your group of on-line friends here on 365 are behind you as you take this journey, and I hear what you say when you say that you are feeling lonely. I know you realize that God is with you, but from a human perspective a physical presence is so important. I am praying that God would touch the hearts of those who can be by your side during this time, and that you can experience that peace of mind as well.
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You are a beautyful, strong, brave and lovely woman. Hang on, if anyone can its you.
Big hugs and prayings from miss dane :-)