I put candles on the table for dinner. The boys wanted to know what occasion we might be celebrating. I was slightly embarrassed about saying that it was the 365 word of the day, so I said “just because.” They probably figured it out after dinner when I set up the tripod and had long consultations with their father on the success of various photographic attempts. Though now that I think about it, the boys had skedaddled back to their mysteriously fascinating electronic pursuits right after dinner.
If you ask at any given moment, “What are we celebrating?” there is always an answer, I think. That evening we had returned with two and a half gallons of wine berries…and that was just picking the low-hanging fruit, as they say. There’s cause for celebration. That day it rained buckets and was reasonably cool for a change. There’s cause for celebration. That day we were eating fried gizzards, macaroni with a bit of cheese and cucumbers from the garden. And berries. There’s cause for celebration. That day the garden continued to produce a supply of cucumbers that we can’t keep up with. There’s cause for celebration. That day I spent all morning visiting with Kathy, then with Maia when she arrived. There’s cause for celebration. That day the boys were picking fights with each other. There’s cause… hmmm, maybe not for celebration.
They do that, though. One is 25 and the other 17. And they pick fights with each other for no externally apparent reason.
Like celebrating, I think you can always come up with an answer to “What are we fighting about today?” I’ve watched the boys do this. One makes a statement and the other is all over him in a heartbeat. Actually, if really hard-pressed for fighting material, the older one makes an almost inaudible clicking noise with his tongue and the younger one predictably goes bananas. Now that he’s older, his fury is less audible, but just a couple years ago the entire neighborhood could probably hear him squawk “STOP DOING THAT!” That is the cue for the older one to look around innocently in mock-bewilderment. “What? I’m not doing anything.” “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.” “I’m just eating my dinner.” “HE’S MAKING THAT NOISE.” It is a well-known fact that grown-up words of reason are beyond useless in changing the course of such enlightened dinner conversations. The best you can do is growl some version of “cut that out.”
Then you sit and wonder why you felt that it was so important dinner should happen as a communal meal. Maybe we should just go back to getting food off the stove and watching TV while eating as was done before I moved in and gradually changed the customs so that now we all gather at the table at the same time and both TV and air conditioner are turned off so that we can better hear ourselves talk. When a family has multiple teens (and some days I count the 25 year old in that category), sometimes the lightening of the emotional atmosphere that accompanies their departure at the end of dinner is cause for celebration.
amen to that, sistah! i once spiffied up the table looking like the queen's banquet and i got a what's-the-big-deal query. when i gave the just-because answer i got a smirk and a side joke and that was enough for me to lose it. bless heavens i chose the expensive china pattern because my sister reminded the smirker/joker that i once famously pulled the table cloth laden with dishes and all the accouterments that go with a proper dinner and i was just in a happy mood at the time and shrugged off the broken crystals. so now when the smirker/joker plans a 'nice dinner with all the bells and whistles' the smirker/joker makes it a point to be nice to me and no reminders of things that would make me throw an expensive crystal flute at the wall which i have done once to make a very valid and important point. i babble.
A lovely capture and you are so right about celebrations - shouldn't we look for those things to celebrate in our everyday normal lives? Another 365 friend was writing about that this week - for me, gratitude is the major component of happiness. Thanks for today's reminder!
