I'm not happy with this shot but the sky was pretty on the way to the GP surgery this evening.
I have the best GP, but I'm really struggling today (after feeling a little better yesterday my mood has plummeted today).
I was there about 40 minutes and cried a lot and she hugged me. We have a little bit of a food plan and she's increased lanzoprazole and prescribed more gaviscon to try and control the gastritis stuff, (she asked me how to spell 'gastritisy' because I didn't know how to explain what was wrong lol so I just said that and then she couldn't spell it because it's not actually a word). She hasn't prescribed fortijuices for now because of the association with Mum's illness.
Got weighed for the first time in months and months and I genuinely can't deal with it and my head has gone into full on weightloss mode. It was higher than I expected and I was already expecting it to be higher than I am comfortable with. She gave me a hug and said she was proud of me for being weighed. She kept telling me it wasn't high, but it is. And now I have to get it done regularly which is only worsening the thoughts.
I also told her I didn't agree with the anorexia diagnosis and she kept telling me why I am diagnosed with it.
My mood is really bad today and all the food talk was buzzing and the weight thing and everything so I told her I didn't want to exist and she said I was doing a good job of making that happen. But my weight is too high so I think everyone needs to chill because my weight is fine and my bloods are fine so I'm basically fixed.
I'm exhausted even though I slept half of the day and didn't get out of bed or dressed until 3:30 (though I was doing some stuff on my laptop). I'm just tired and I have a headache from crying and my brain is buzzing and screaming and I just want everything to stop.
I will tell you something right now. I will not follow someone who has given up. I will keep on following your lovely pictures.You are going on ...my dear. One foot in front of the other. Your shots are lovely and striking. I will follow you project.
Pleased that you spotted the pretty sky. The rest doesn't sound like much fun except to have a good GP is priceless. New day tomorrow! You have my prayers too.
@alophoto @helenhall @joemuli @thelene @zuzana @suklassen @craftymeg @halkia @pixiemac thank you all for your prayers and kind comments
@earthbeone I'm sorry to hear you've all had to live with it too, but thank you for giving me hope Xxx