I don' want to rely on services because they don't exist. I haven't seen my CPN since 31st March. She's disappeared somewhere and who knows when she's back. My GP didn't seem to impressed that I've been left with no support and offered to ring CMHT but I said no. I don't want to recite my life to yet more strangers. And I don't trust any of them.
My eating is such a shitshow and I'm trying but I can't do it alone. My GP said it's gettng worse. I don't know if it is or if it's just changed. I was so explicit about some stuff but rather than working on a plan to help it we're just reducing bloods to once every two weeks. They're not too funky right now and I'm not under ED services so yeah. She also mentioned that they don't weigh me any more. I can't remember the last time I had obs.
All in all my eating disorder is running riot because if they never do obs, despite me being honest about the fact that I hadn't eaten or drank since yesterday before work (and my appt was at 11:30am today so like 26/27 hours later?) then what else can I get away with? It's such a mess. I'm trying to do my best with stuff but I am so exhausted from fighting and if nobodylese thinks it's a problem then maybe it's not?
On the plus side (maybe... if it helps) she's changing my quetiapine to slow release to see if it helps my legs. I think I semi made her ry again (oops) because I explained that someone had messaged me asking how I put up with it because it's so debilitating, but for so long I figured it was my fault so just dealt with it. But last night I lay on the floor for 4 hours because everything hurt and it often has me close to tears so that's not the best. But apparently I haven't got a CPN so can't tell them to ask the psych so I just have to deal with it. Anyway, we'll see if this helps.
It seems that already there is no health service. Im sure that it is not true that nobody thinks it is a problem. but it may be the case that nobody has the resources to deal with it. Which is bad. You have resources. That is evident in your art work. Praying that someone comes along side to help you through this.
@kjarn i'm doubtful but thank you x