Oh dear - when I couldn't get her page to come up yesterday I thought it was just a blip in the system...but you're right it's still not there today... Has she completely gone, then?
If anyone 'knows' her through facebook or other, perhaps you could tell her we were sorry she's not around today and hope it's only temporary...? And to take care regardless.... @shanne
I am in touch with Shanne elsewhere and she has deleted her account. I will miss her - she is one of the people who give GREAT criticism and help. I do know how she feels (see below) when things get a bit intense on the Internet. I also hope she comes back some time soon.
:'(
She said I can quote her here -
"I said the wrong thing on a picture by Trina Paula Holub @5unflower - really my bad on two counts:
1. I shouldn't have been posting when feeling crap - I'm now on antibiotics for a chest infection, probably pneumonia, and
2. I got it wrong, what was meant to be something light-hearted and a tongue-in-cheek comment was taken as offensive.
I really apologise to Trina for upsetting her and saying the wrong thing - I followed her for most my first year and really like her photography and humour.
What then happened is some of the heavy mob then took offence on Trina's behalf.
I came back for two reasons,
1. to keep me sane while job hunting
2. to have a searchable internet presence because I'm not on Facebook.
neither of those was going to work if I now had the heavy mob sniping, so I deleted my account.
I was going to delete my account after I finished the first year, having left it a few weeks, but then knew I wasn't going to have as long to job hunt as I wanted or expected, so left it up for the above reasons."
I wasn't aware that I was part of the "heavy mob".....but like Paula stated above...she made a comment that came across as quite snarky and as a back handed compliment (stating that a movie fact cited in the comments wasn't true because the book never actually said, after saying great photo....to paraphrase) and I took offense (not going to apologize if you see it differently), so I said as much. In no way did anyone force her to quit, or even start to get mean about anything. I know that the photographer who posted that photo took offense to the know it all attitude that came across in that small statement.
.......I just saw her link on flickr so I know she has an account there.
I do appreciate her not calling me or anyone else out by name in her communication with Mags...very grown up and professional.
@boogie Mags, as you're in touch with Shanne could you pass on my best wishes to her and tell her that I'll miss our interaction on 365. I'm sure she didn't mean any offence in her comments. Thankyou x
If the photographer did take offence, she could have fought her own battles. And I think the comment was misunderstood. It wasn't backhanded in anyway. Plus, it was true, so stop being so touchy. If this happened to me, I'd probably cry and leave too. She had only just started following me and I was enjoying her honesty. Come back! I think you're awesome! @shanne.
Seems to me, a mature approach would be to evaluate the cumulative posting of an individual, rather than the perception of one.
Read the post, found no seeming of malice in shannes comment. Might say more of the specs through which others are viewing than anything else.
@lilbudhha yes, thank you for the definition......a cumulative evaluation was used in my posting. I obviously couldn't see every post she ever made but the ones I have seen re: Paula B's post about the pregnancy shot and others very similar.....this one fit right in.
If that was enough to make her quit posting here, where there are 10,000 active members according to the bossman, she wasn't long for this site. I am one teeny tiny member who is no longer even posting and can easily be avoided and ignored (it happened when I was actively posting so I know it can be done now) I come back to see some friends I can't find anywhere else. Not to push anyone around or demean anyone. I have helped out a lot of people here. If my ONE comment defending someone I know offends so many people, well so be it.
THEY are not taking into account MY cumualtive postings and therefore disregarding your advice....It goes both ways.
I can count on one hand the number of defensive discussions I have had on here, this one included.....and I would still have fingers left over.
I keep quiet sometimes, others I'm very loud and open about my opinion, however just because I make a statement, don't assume I haven't done my research. I use the search bar, I remember a lot and I see more than I ever let on......It's amazing what people put up on this site and don't think others see.
Perhaps I am guilty of a hasty post myself. I typically avoid these situations as they solve nothing and merely serve to feed the trolls. My experience with shanne, we followed each other and many of the same people, does not bear out malicious postings.
I do not retract my admittedly snarky post. My regrets are only that I let myself descend to that level.
For the record my, admittedly hazy, impression of you is not as being one of those whose typical behaviour was the target of my post.
However, we are at opposite conclusions in this instance.
Regardless, I think I am finished with this thread as I believe it will generate more heat than light.
@brumbe Ok this pregnancy post has come up twice now, so I'm going to have to ask for a link, please? Because I have no idea what is being referred to... :(
@lilbudhha No I do not usually get involved with these sort of things. However, I was the one that made the comment that apparently caused Shanne to leave, so I wanted to be upfront about it.
Trina didn't need to take the heat, just because it was her photo, she had nothing to do with it otherwise.
I appreciate that your post was general description rather than a pointed accusation, however since I was the offender, I took it to mean me.
No need to retract your post. You said what you meant and meant what you said. Thank you for that.
So did I.
I don't need or want drama but I am going to stand up for myself. I brought the heat on me, and I can take it. But I'm not going to get walked on either. Her leaving was not my intent.
@brumbe Ahh I see. I am fairly new so would have no idea about this. But I personally believe that if Trina was indeed offended, she should have taken it up with Shanne herself. It just causes added drama when other people get involved. I don't mean to offend anyone, but this shouldn't be a big deal. She apologised in the message she sent Mags anyway. So lets all let this go and wish her the best.
Thats a shame Shanne as stopped posting I have only justed started to follower her pictures which I thought were very good.Shanne commented on some of my pictures because she new the area and it was nice to talk to someone you new the area. If anybody is in touch with her can you wish her all the best from Martin (@esox) down in Dorset.
This MAY have been a case of mistaken identity...if indeed Shanne is not Shanay...I don't know because neither of them have an account here anymore. Here is the pregnancy photo in question. The offending comment is gone, however the the replies are still posted. http://365project.org/nicolekos/365/2011-03-24
Shanne, if this is a different person, my apologies for putting your name on it.
@shadesofgrey I took a look earlier and found this shot. It's definitely a different person. Shanay is still posting and is very much up to date with their project. I think this is a case of mistaken identity. I've been involved with this site for almost 18 months and have followed and been followed by Shanne for the majority of that time. I never found Shanne to be rude or offensive, although to be fair I don't let comments bother me as I'm doing this for myself. Having said that I always thought of Shanne as being knowledgeable rather than a know it all. Text online has a habit of being misconstrued. Body language, tone of voice etc. are essential in how we come across to people and that's where the danger lies. The fact that Shanne ended her comment with ;o) should have been enough of an indication that she wasn't meaning to cause offence...and seriously was it really all that important that you had to get involved?
@boogie Hi Mags, I've been woefully behind here recently but just spotted this thread. If you could also pass on my best wishes to Shanne, I'd be grateful. I've always appreciated her comments & suggestions, which she kept up with even when I've been poor at keeping up with comments on others.
@shadesofgrey To my knowledge, Shanne is definitely not Shanay.
Shanne has never offended me with any of her mostly sweet comments on my pics. I know I'm "guilty" of some ironic 'tongue in cheek' comments..but that is mostly with people whom I know outside the project too, and know what kinda person I am. O and one or two others who can be pretty cheecky in their comments on my pics to... Wich I don't mind, I can handle ironic, cheecky or even a bit sarcastic comments.. As long as they aren't rude. The main problem is that there is a thin line that can be easily crossed.
But do you know what comments I love best? (besides.. "o I absolutely love this and would Fav it three times if I could" :-P) Constructive criticism ;-)
If I have been rambling.. Pardon me, it has been a long day.
@boogie Please give her my best wishes. I will miss her.
@rufus430 Yes I will. I also find Shanne consistent, helpful and very constructive. I am so pleased I can still see her photos on Flickr.
@elke I will pass on your good wishes (It's hard to lose Internet friends isn't it?) I loved her constructive critisism - it's rare on here, we mostly seem to be of the oooooooooo, I loooove it ilk!
@boogie@38mm I have just used the link to Shanne's Flickr account and tried to leave a message but apparently can't unless I'm signed up :o( I'm completely technophobic and need a small child (unavailable currently!) to help me with these things. I hope Shanne is able to still see 365 and can read this thread and see that there are people on here who love her, wish her well and would like to see her posting on here again. It's such a shame when one person, who apparently hasn't done sufficient research, can make someone feel as if they've got to leave, at a time when they're already feeling vulnerable. I would like to remain in touch with her but don't like posting my email address online. I am on fb if either of you would like to send me a message and we can try and sort something out xx
@boogie Please wish Shanne all the best from me. I've never received anything other than lovely comments from Shanne and it is so sad that a comment which having read it with an open mind appears to have been taken by others completely out of context. For everything I love about this site and the people on it, there are a few who should really think before they post something. This doesn't include Shanne. There has been so much encouragement received from Shanne, it saddens me that the account has now gone. It is close to bullying. Yes you should be able to speak your mind, but think how you do it. I will miss Shanne so much and hope this doesn't stop her talent from shining through.
I have wondered the same thing. @shanne was always one of my favorite loyal followers and I kept trying to check her site the the last few days and apparently it was deleted. I didn't have time to read any of the above notes but I hope if someone sees or talks to her they will give her my regards and that I will miss her and her photos. Hope she returns!
@boogie Shanne always made thoughtful comments on my posts and I was thrilled when she came back after finishing her project. It's too bad that her comment was taken the wrong way and that she was misidentified as a rude poster. I will miss her comments and her photos.
@38mm I'm sure this is going to create a whole nother storm but why are you begging me to apologize (which I did, privately, way before your request) when you've said much much worse, without apparently a care in the world. Pot and kettle come to mind. I don't mind wearing the black hat, I put it out there that it was me that made a comment but I don't enjoy being villified and raked over the coals by everyone who seems to have forgotten others past transgressions.....We've all been the bad guy at some point, haven't we.
@emmaroobers@chewyteeth@psychographer@boogie@elke@dishaparekh176@miley89 May want to re-think the pack mentality that seems to have taken over.....eh? I said it before. I fucked up. I apologized here and in private to Shanne about linking her to the other comments. I'm not going to be walked all over by people for making one comment defending a friend though. I have been nothing but helpful on here before this. I thought I got along well with all of you but then as soon as someone smells blood, you all jumped in, directly or indirectly....amazing. I was a true believer in the inherent good nature of people.....turns out that dog don't hunt.
If you want to wail and gnash your teeth about one little incident and call me horrible and mean and nasty, go on ahead. Just forget everything that came before this with everyone else too, including Shanne. You all seem to forget that Jase was villified for some comments he made with his previous account....and left. He was accepted with open arms when he came back. Forgive and forget, seems to be a convience rather than a steadfast rule around here.
No one has as of yet asked that I be removed....but take a look at that discussion and see if you really are behind the leader of the charge here.
Della ace
how do we report @grecican@jasehoad so they can be removed from this site????
@shadesofgrey Because I have always said it to the person, not behind their back after they have left a site. I wasn't begging, merely suggesting.
And I'm sure I have said a lot worse than the example you dragged up, maybe you could spend your day searching for another. As you don't come here to post photo's it will give you something to do.
@38mm Don't be scared, put me on blast.........that was a sample, enough for the educated people on here to see through the sheeps clothing. No further searching is required.
I never said it behind her back. She referenced the discussion in her emailings to me and I even linked it back so she could see everything after that....this is a public site after all, no account needed to see what's going on here.
I know you like arguing and feeding the trolls...so enjoy your day. I'll play the troll so you can feel better about yourself, give you some time off.
@miley89 I understand this post is waaay off topic, but Jase needs some time to vent, so I'll be his huckleberry. You can probably disregard any notifications that come from him or I after this....
Can we please just end this now? @38mm I guess that "to the person" just makes the meanness more nice somehow?
Come on people, let's just be done with this already.
@shadesofgrey just to let you know, the second paragraph of my last post wasn't to you personal (maybe I should have arrange the comment differently ) that was just general speaking. No pack here... or thirst for someone's blood. Never
@cromwell Well, you know I love your humor! It must be an age thing... not sure how old you are, but I know I am old enough to know that movie well and I am an old movie buff ;)
@boogie Please pass on my regards to Shanne. I tried to check out her photos this week but obviously couldn't. She was a very supportive 375er. I'll look her up on flickr.
Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaanne!!!!! I don't know what kind of craziness is going on but I just want to say, you'll be missed! I've been following you for a looong time! I hope you don't get discouraged and stop taking pics! just remember what attracted you to all this in the first place!
@shadesofgrey I'm not part of a pact :/ I don't even know half these people. I was merely giving you my humble opinion on whether or not you should have defended the photo owner. Personally, I did not think there was need to have done that. If you thought it was necessary, so be it. It was a difference of opinions, that is all. I don't like being associated with the meanies on this site. I'm sorry if you felt ganged up on but in all seriousness, I will not go out of my way to be horrible to you, or anyone else.
@dishaparekh176 I've been wanting to reply regarding the pack reference too and you summed it up perfectly. I too am not a meanie and feel insulted that anyone on here would think I was ever horrible to them :(
@shadesofgrey@dishaparekh176@emmaroobers I'm definitely not part of a pack either, it's really not my style at all. I was merely giving my opinion on how I've found Shanne in the whole time I've known her on this site. No malice was intended and I think you'd be hard pushed to find any in what I wrote. I don't accept your comment that I'm a 'meanie' but tbh even if you do I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. The reason I use this site is to post my photos and interact with a group of people I now consider to be friends. It's just a bit sad that Shanne will no longer be one of those friends in my 365 group that's all.
@boogie I don't want to get involved in the conflict that is raging on above...I am usually teaching school and too busy to get on here much for that discussion stuff anyway. But if you can, please tell Shanne that we DO miss her and her photos and commentary. I wish she'd come back.
@psychographer@boogie I also just went to flickr and posted a comment to Shanne to say we miss her and wish she'd come back. She took interesting photos and helped me with my bug and plant info at times...she did know alot of "stuff!"
Shanne so sorry to see that you left - especially over the crap that goes on here on this website sometimes. Hope you come back some day and wish you the best! Will miss all your FAVS :-D
1. people take offense at something written on some website (that would be this one) where no one really knows each other and
2. people get wrapped up in some online 'conflict' or 'mob scene' or 'pack'...whatevs, seems like a huge waste of time and energy.
:( So sad that anyone feels ganged up on here. 365 is an inspirational place that I try visit often , there are beautiful photos and people on here. We should all try and ignore the negative people who seem to think that bad behaviour is appropriate. For some reason negative people feed off negativity :(
People who matter don't mind , people who mind don't matter :)
@boogie i was not rude i was also laid into by the heavies i said somethings should be private between couple and not flaunted iv reported this as this was over a year ago and frankly is childish and stupid...ppl put naked kids on here for pervs to get hold of cos they are babies dont mean its ok.....i have 2 kids and not one pic of them on internet..tho i was told i should be ashamed to be a woman sorry i was brought up to belive in somethings being private.. i also was targeted by a load of ppl who just cos they have a diff view took it all out of propotion and this is supposed to be a site where you post a pic of something that day in your life...now its just everyone trying to outdo everyone and fighting im also leaving as im sick of snidy jeleous narkey old ladies like you who just need to fight someone or your not happy..shanne was also my friend....iv had narky comments b4 i ignore them. i could also get the heavies but your all so not worth it...so i find a woman showing her belly while pregnant to all an sundry indeacent what next pics of the birth i and my friends who have kids also think the same one time ago you would have been shocked by it i just think its private..if that makes me bad so be it....your all so damn pathetic...its a photo site not a fight or porn site so dont bother answering im deleteing my profile as you sad old biddies can pic on someone else
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@janmaki @cromwell
If anyone 'knows' her through facebook or other, perhaps you could tell her we were sorry she's not around today and hope it's only temporary...? And to take care regardless....
@shanne
:'(
She said I can quote her here -
"I said the wrong thing on a picture by Trina Paula Holub @5unflower - really my bad on two counts:
1. I shouldn't have been posting when feeling crap - I'm now on antibiotics for a chest infection, probably pneumonia, and
2. I got it wrong, what was meant to be something light-hearted and a tongue-in-cheek comment was taken as offensive.
I really apologise to Trina for upsetting her and saying the wrong thing - I followed her for most my first year and really like her photography and humour.
What then happened is some of the heavy mob then took offence on Trina's behalf.
I came back for two reasons,
1. to keep me sane while job hunting
2. to have a searchable internet presence because I'm not on Facebook.
neither of those was going to work if I now had the heavy mob sniping, so I deleted my account.
I was going to delete my account after I finished the first year, having left it a few weeks, but then knew I wasn't going to have as long to job hunt as I wanted or expected, so left it up for the above reasons."
.......I just saw her link on flickr so I know she has an account there.
I do appreciate her not calling me or anyone else out by name in her communication with Mags...very grown up and professional.
Here is the photo where it happened:
http://365project.org/5unflow3r/365/2012-06-15
@brumbe I think the ;) on Shanne's post showed it to be humour of the slightly sarcastic/ironic type.
I think there could be quite a pond difference causing some of the difficulties in that thread?
@mikew @m9f9l @psychographer @lorraineb @elke @sparkle @paulavdmerwe @filsie65 @brumbe @shadesofgrey @boogie @chewyteeth
Read the post, found no seeming of malice in shannes comment. Might say more of the specs through which others are viewing than anything else.
A definition for those who need it. Number 3 in this dictionary.
If that was enough to make her quit posting here, where there are 10,000 active members according to the bossman, she wasn't long for this site. I am one teeny tiny member who is no longer even posting and can easily be avoided and ignored (it happened when I was actively posting so I know it can be done now) I come back to see some friends I can't find anywhere else. Not to push anyone around or demean anyone. I have helped out a lot of people here. If my ONE comment defending someone I know offends so many people, well so be it.
THEY are not taking into account MY cumualtive postings and therefore disregarding your advice....It goes both ways.
I can count on one hand the number of defensive discussions I have had on here, this one included.....and I would still have fingers left over.
I keep quiet sometimes, others I'm very loud and open about my opinion, however just because I make a statement, don't assume I haven't done my research. I use the search bar, I remember a lot and I see more than I ever let on......It's amazing what people put up on this site and don't think others see.
@dishaparekh176 @miley89
@grecican
Perhaps I am guilty of a hasty post myself. I typically avoid these situations as they solve nothing and merely serve to feed the trolls. My experience with shanne, we followed each other and many of the same people, does not bear out malicious postings.
I do not retract my admittedly snarky post. My regrets are only that I let myself descend to that level.
For the record my, admittedly hazy, impression of you is not as being one of those whose typical behaviour was the target of my post.
However, we are at opposite conclusions in this instance.
Regardless, I think I am finished with this thread as I believe it will generate more heat than light.
Trina didn't need to take the heat, just because it was her photo, she had nothing to do with it otherwise.
I appreciate that your post was general description rather than a pointed accusation, however since I was the offender, I took it to mean me.
No need to retract your post. You said what you meant and meant what you said. Thank you for that.
So did I.
I don't need or want drama but I am going to stand up for myself. I brought the heat on me, and I can take it. But I'm not going to get walked on either. Her leaving was not my intent.
This MAY have been a case of mistaken identity...if indeed Shanne is not Shanay...I don't know because neither of them have an account here anymore. Here is the pregnancy photo in question. The offending comment is gone, however the the replies are still posted.
http://365project.org/nicolekos/365/2011-03-24
Shanne, if this is a different person, my apologies for putting your name on it.
Shanne has never offended me with any of her mostly sweet comments on my pics. I know I'm "guilty" of some ironic 'tongue in cheek' comments..but that is mostly with people whom I know outside the project too, and know what kinda person I am. O and one or two others who can be pretty cheecky in their comments on my pics to... Wich I don't mind, I can handle ironic, cheecky or even a bit sarcastic comments.. As long as they aren't rude. The main problem is that there is a thin line that can be easily crossed.
But do you know what comments I love best? (besides.. "o I absolutely love this and would Fav it three times if I could" :-P) Constructive criticism ;-)
If I have been rambling.. Pardon me, it has been a long day.
@boogie Please give her my best wishes. I will miss her.
Two entirely different people.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/12323897@N04/
@elke I will pass on your good wishes (It's hard to lose Internet friends isn't it?) I loved her constructive critisism - it's rare on here, we mostly seem to be of the oooooooooo, I loooove it ilk!
I have never once seen Shanne be remotely rude.
Right I just got a message from Shanne, she is aware of this thread so will have seen all your messages of support.
@shadesofgrey has also apologised RE. the pregnancy photo, so thank you for that.
Personally I'm still pissed off over the whole thing, but I have upset enough people already this week so I won't say anything more.
@janmaki @38mm
http://365project.org/discuss/general/11174/eating-disorder-awareness-week
@emmaroobers @chewyteeth @psychographer @boogie @elke @dishaparekh176 @miley89 May want to re-think the pack mentality that seems to have taken over.....eh? I said it before. I fucked up. I apologized here and in private to Shanne about linking her to the other comments. I'm not going to be walked all over by people for making one comment defending a friend though. I have been nothing but helpful on here before this. I thought I got along well with all of you but then as soon as someone smells blood, you all jumped in, directly or indirectly....amazing. I was a true believer in the inherent good nature of people.....turns out that dog don't hunt.
If you want to wail and gnash your teeth about one little incident and call me horrible and mean and nasty, go on ahead. Just forget everything that came before this with everyone else too, including Shanne. You all seem to forget that Jase was villified for some comments he made with his previous account....and left. He was accepted with open arms when he came back. Forgive and forget, seems to be a convience rather than a steadfast rule around here.
No one has as of yet asked that I be removed....but take a look at that discussion and see if you really are behind the leader of the charge here.
Della ace
how do we report @grecican @jasehoad so they can be removed from this site????
Jase ace
@ dmrams Hahaha, that made my day.
And I'm sure I have said a lot worse than the example you dragged up, maybe you could spend your day searching for another. As you don't come here to post photo's it will give you something to do.
Haha, you have just made my day, again
I never said it behind her back. She referenced the discussion in her emailings to me and I even linked it back so she could see everything after that....this is a public site after all, no account needed to see what's going on here.
I know you like arguing and feeding the trolls...so enjoy your day. I'll play the troll so you can feel better about yourself, give you some time off.
@miley89 I understand this post is waaay off topic, but Jase needs some time to vent, so I'll be his huckleberry. You can probably disregard any notifications that come from him or I after this....
@38mm I guess that "to the person" just makes the meanness more nice somehow?
Come on people, let's just be done with this already.
1. people take offense at something written on some website (that would be this one) where no one really knows each other and
2. people get wrapped up in some online 'conflict' or 'mob scene' or 'pack'...whatevs, seems like a huge waste of time and energy.
People who matter don't mind , people who mind don't matter :)