July 27 words

Stare/ tears
Being that I'm at the office and actually confronting head-on the sad fact that classes start in 3 weeks and that, despite enormous amounts of labor and effort,  I am not at all in any way shape or form ready to start, not even close, today's words only evoke an image of myself staring at my computer screen in tears.

I'm not actually crying (and wasn't crying gbefore, either).  Nor am I staring at my computer screen anymore.  I'm back home with the dogs, typing a few words in anticipation of a night out at the movies with Joe.

Nevertheless, I'm completely dismayed by the disarray in which I find my classes.   One is more or less ready to go ... apart from actually recording each and every lecture.  The other two are in shambles.  The university changed the learning management system and nothing migrates correctly.  Each and every quiz problem had to be reviewed and edited since none of the mathematical notation carried over. That was actually the easy part because it was straightforward and requires little decision- making.   The harder part is reworking everything in the new system, which has a completely different structure than the previous system.   Also, I realize as I'm writing,  I didn't learn the old system all at once.  I learned new aspects of it every year.  Plus, by my own personal nature, I am required to revamp and reorganize everything to make it work better.  That's for the 3 fully online, asynchronous classes.   Two of them I'm also teaching in a hybrid, partially face to face version, partially online version and I do not have the slightest idea how how to organize that. 

All these factors combine into either a terrible quagmire  (leading to staring and crying)  or a glorious mess (inspirationally leading to rolling up one's sleeves and setting to work).  I'm clearly in the former frame of mind since as I wrote about enthusiastically plunging into a glorious mess, I distinctly heard a cackling, cynical voice say "yes, yes little girl. You'll enjoy emptying that lake with a teaspoon.   Heh heh heh."

I really, truly don't want to sound like I'm drowning in despair or chewing sour grapes, because I'm not, though I will admit to having sent off a few emails this summer that contained a bit more emotionality than was quite professional. 

My rational mind has definitely lowered its expectations for what will be complete when classes start in 3 weeks and I'm trying to cultivate a keep-it-simple, it-is-what-it-is attitude.

[Kathy]

Cute shot of your dog. I wish I could help you with your dilemma. Perhaps remember your best may be the basics this fall and as you learn you can enhance as you have in the past. Try to remember how you started. It wasn't so bad. They kept you on. And perhaps you will get excited to learn than you know more than you thought you did.

[katy]

Terrific Composition for your photo and a very soothing subject in these trying times! That being said I wholeheartedly support what @randystreat has mentioned! Just take it one day at a time and do the best you can for that day. I think the attitude that you are trying to cultivate is the perfect way to approach your dilemma.