This is a photo from an altogther happier time in my families life.
It shows my sister-in-law Victoria, with Ben behind her working out who he can throw his snowball at. I don't think of Victoria as a sister in law, she remains so much more to me.
The photo was taken in Germany on our last trip to see Victoria and her family in Munich, a few months before they all returned home to Loughborough.
Victoria was diagnosed with skin cancer in May 2008 and died on August 30th that year. Today would have been Victoria's 44th birthday. We should not have had to make a trip to a cold, desolate cemetery today to lay flowers at her grave.
We all miss, our daughter, sister, mummy, auntie, wife so much, it still hurts us all so much. I don't think we will ever stop grieving. Whilst we have all been deprived of you in our lives, we will never stop thinking of you, and never stop loving you Victoria.
So sorry for your loss, a loss made more painful by that fact that she was far too young. In a way I see grieving as a means of keeping someone alive in our hearts and so in that mindset, it should never really end.
A chilly narrative to read; it gave me goose bumps to go over it. Victoria was too young to die. May her memories give a smile when you think of her, and the fact that she is resting in peace.
I am so sorry for your loss, Sean. I can tell Victoria was a very special person and incredibly well loved. Just like Ana's comment above, your narrative sent chills down my spine.
I'm so sorry!!! I lost my father (aged 55) to cancer five years ago. (it was the anniversary of his death near the end of January) My deepest sympathies go out to you all... I know how hard it is... and how much it changes life to loose someone so dear!!!
What a lovely shot - I'm so sorry you lost Victoria so young... did someone once say that 'those we love are never completely lost to us' or something like it?
It's a beautiful shot Sean and she looks so nice, and was obviously so deeply loved....and that's why she's missed so much. It's too difficult to understand the why. I am sorry your day was sad and difficult, and I understand why...........
Thank you all so much for your kind words. I kno wthat my mother and father in law found yesterday very hard, and they do read my posts and comments. I am sure that they will have taken some comfort from you all, as have I. Hubregt, through our friendship we have discovered that we have so many things in common, but how sad that this is one of them.Therese, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, you are right, it is so painful and changes your life beyond recognition. My heart goes out to both of you, and any of my friends on 365 who have suffered tragedy in their lives.
@monkeykid@seanoneill it's really sad how cancer has touched many of us. I didn't mentioned it yesterday since it was Victoria's day. I lost my husband after a 7 year battle with cancer in 1998; and my children were very young. That's why I admire your mom so much, Therese, for guiding such a large family into such wonderful individuals. Sean, only time will help you to mitigate the pain of Victoria's death.
@anazad511 Ana, thank you for sharing your very sad story. I am so sorry that you and your family have also been affected so tragically, and that your children lost their dad while they were so young. Victoria has 2 young sons, and it has been just awful for them.
@seanoneill I'm sure its very difficult tot her kids. I can tell you that each child mouns in a different way and at different times. Something I did and that's been very good is to keep Ben's memory alive and in a cheerful way; remembering his humorous expressions, mentioning things he liked, and so on. My daughter still struggles with issues, so be patient.
@anazad511 Thank you Ana, I am very moved that you are able to share your experience and offer some comfort and advice. We try to do similar to you with Matthew and Jono, who clearly have issues. Making them feel loved and important is such a big thing.
Wow, look how little Ben is there!! Ya know, just the other day I told a friend of mine (who's a sun worshipper) that she and her boyfriend will end up with skin cancer one day... she replied with they were lathered in sunscreen... if only that stopped skin cancer! I never realised how close together the diagnosis and passing of Victoria were.
@ozziehoffy Thanks Cass. Victoria passed away 99 days after diagnosis and spent a lot of that time in hospital. Feel free to tell your friend Victoria's story. There is very little that can be done to cure skin cancer, it is a very viscious fillness.
@seanoneill I'm sure they've seen it on the news here... there's a big thing every now and then about if they should ban solariums as there are people who have gotten skin cancer from using them.
@anazad511 Thanks so very much Ana!!! I'm really sorry about your husband!!! I never realised he also had cancer... or that it was such a long illness!!!
So sorry you had to lose this lovely lady from your lives, life is hard to understand sometimes. Wonderful memories but you must miss her so much especially her parents....one should never have to bury a child!!
A lovely tribute Sean.
Early detection and treatment is the key to surviving cancer. I don't mean to preach, but everyone needs to pay attention to those skin changes and get them taken care of. I did, and I am an 18 year melanoma survivor. For all of you who have lost loved ones, you have my sincere sympathy. I known this must be a special photo for your family, Sean.
Thank you all so much for your kind words. I kno wthat my mother and father in law found yesterday very hard, and they do read my posts and comments. I am sure that they will have taken some comfort from you all, as have I. Hubregt, through our friendship we have discovered that we have so many things in common, but how sad that this is one of them.Therese, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, you are right, it is so painful and changes your life beyond recognition. My heart goes out to both of you, and any of my friends on 365 who have suffered tragedy in their lives.
@anazad511 Thanks so very much Ana!!! I'm really sorry about your husband!!! I never realised he also had cancer... or that it was such a long illness!!!
A lovely tribute Sean.