Overcoming nerves. Overcoming social anxiety. Overcoming fear.
Eastbourne Rovers Ronhill Mile Night. First time I've ever run 'properly' on a track, at an event with spectators (all-be-them other runners and people supporting).
The whole thing was a neurodivergent nightmare. I didn't know anything about the start or finish and it was too loud with music blaring right where we needed to line up and listen to instructions. Went out far too fast in panic and thought I'd have to drop out before I was even 250m in. But I didn't. I slowed down, determined not to walk, or stop and cry, but fully expecting to get overtaken. I somehow kept my lonely place between the two distant pacers - 8 min/mile ahead and 9 min/mile behind. I didn't know how close anyone was behind me as I didn't want to look, only that the small group ahead were getting further away. I had to focus on keeping going, on breathing, on not being sick. And I did it. The laps went by quicker than I expected. I finished my mile in 8 minutes 30 seconds, and felt like I'd had a burning-hot poker rammed through my trachea. But, I did it. I turned up. I started, I ran, I finished. And, I'd do it again.
