There are two things in this world that can be truly said to terrify me, to make my blood run cold, to have me break in to a cold sweat and start shaking uncontrollably.
One of those things is the humble praying mantis and the other is the dentist. I understand the need and reason for both however that by no means requires my co-operation with either.
As an example, I was cutting back our rampant passion-fruit plants a month ago, which are also known to harbour praying mantis' so it had taken me some time to pluck up the courage. As I was pruning a voice in my head whispered "look on your shoulder". Of course, not wanting to ignore the first sensible thing that my cranium has uttered in over a decade I duly looked on my shoulder. Within seconds I was racing around the garden, waving my arms in the air and screaming like a school girl. I was just about to release a window shattering scream when the realisation dawned on me that what I had in fact seen sitting on my shoulder was a tassel from my hat.
That aside, I have an appointment with the dentist this afternoon. I have no doubt what so ever in my mind that when they come for me I will no sooner be placed in a reclining position than a fist will enter my mouth and Mr. Dentist will ask politely "going anywhere nice this year", to which my standard reply has become "fnggh nggngh hnngh" (which loosely translates as "No, I thought we'd go somewhere fucking horrible this time"). After this gold mine of conversational wealth has been breached his assistant will, with no hesitation or sympathy, strap me in to the chair so that Mr. Dentist can stand above me smiling with a ridiculously small mirror in one hand and an equally ridiculously large power drill in the other.
The ultimate insult to my sensibilities is that I will then pay for this treatment when I could get it for free at home and in all likelihood leave the room feeling less abused, broken and dirty.
I am a confirmed and certifiable nutbar with a penchant for skulls, bones, blood, guts, fire and anything slightly peculiar and mostly bizarre. I also...
I understand the disdain for the Praying Mantis because a Praying insect thingy is very weird. However I am totally in love with my Dentist. I love seeing him and I think I must book appointments just to play out my crush on him. I think it is hilarious that he and his Assistant will have 7 instruments in my mouth but ask me a stupid mundane question but carry on the conversation even when I don't/can't answer. They must repeat this practise 20 times per day with all of their other patients. Anyway, back to my crush - I think it is smart if you can find a Dentist that you can admire and fall a little bit in love with. Oh and one that has up to date magazines in the waiting room as well. All of this helps when you see the bill and suffer the pain for days afterwards :) Cheer up!
Ah a kindred spirit.... I too have fear and loathing for these two horrors. I hope your dentist appointment went as well as can be expected from a trip to a house of horrors. Great shot to convey this dread we know.
Fantastic shot... and a fav.. but harden up Graeme... I use to work for a dentist... and men were the worst patients .. I am sure you will walk out alive if not I guess we will hear about it on the news tonight.. and may be even the attack of the Praying Mantis...
oh but these days they talk of painless dentistry, are you sure you are not just being a drama queen again?
oh and you have tassles on your hat? I wanna see
I'm with you on the dentist - can't stand the place, or that whining drill noise. But I'd rather have a praying mantis than a wasp any day. Great shot btw.
Fabulous image! Love those red chairs! Fav! I am still laughing at your ramblings! I love the image you have given me of you running round the garden! I will remember this when you next put up some blood curdling shot! The dentist I understand - I have a phobia! You are right to be afraid - very afraid! Lol!
Hahahah!! Thank you for the laugh...even if you are terrified. I share your fear of the dentist. Not scared of praying mantis but somehow a couple of years ago, we had a mantis get in the house and proceed to have a billion babies...in my kitchen. We almost moved.
omg! thank you for the giggle... i'm tired and grumpy and although i can't complain about my work day, i desperately needed something to take me out of my funk... so thank you... that is all!
@gigiflower I totally agree mine is kinda cute and has they best and latest magazines, but the bill!!!! and Graeme you have a tassel !!!!!!!!!!!! loving the colour splash
I'm with you Graeme - the molar maulers reduce me to quivering jelly. I have very sensitive teeth, even my three daily brushes have my nerves screaming at me.
@vignouse We're in the same boat then - 3 times a day here as well and I still can't win the fight. @pinkpaintpot I do have a tassel...it will never be photographed ;) @northy You're most welcome :) @aikiuser Thank you kindly, and yes, we are. All of us. @voiceprintz As do I - and thank you :) @divast8er I would have burned that house to the ground... @pamknowler Pleased to be of assistance, even if I did ruin my image ;) @pistache Thank you - wasps are no problem. When they're dead. @shepherdmanswife There goes my image, but thank you anyway ;) @sidecar Thank you very much, much appreciated :) @kali66 Painless? If dentistry is painless I have hair free legs! @rennes Me too!!! And thanks very much :) @julzmaioro Thank you and no, I don't want to harden up. I want cuddles and tissues. @tonygig Thank you kindly :) @lifepause The rate I move with praying mantis' we'll need sports mode... @cocobella Thank you so much :) @monty147 Thank you so much - nice to know I'm not the only one! @happypat Thank you so much, appreciated as always :) @hippiechick13 I tried crying once and nearly drowned... @bill_fe Thanks and yes, unabashedly @888rachel Thank you so much :) @gigiflower My dentist is old, bald and miserable which actually suits me fine :)
Graeme, you are such a woos sometimes! I guess we are not related, after all.....I do enjoy going to the dentist, at least to get my teeth cleaned.....I find it relaxing, sort of like a massage or facial for my teeth!! I am not sure you need to be in love with your dentist....I mean, after all they don't have the best vantage point into one of your orifices! Oh, and don't ever go to see The Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman....you will find it terrifying! And, FAV, BTW!
Love it! Good to know your fears....I have a really cool shot of a praying mantis from last summer. But your lucky, I don't know how to post the link here! Really like your shot, those red chairs are perfect!
@moviegal1 Thank you so much, appreciated :) @panthora My trouble is that at a very young age I was traumatised by the school dental dental nurse and her foot pedal powered drill... @tabarlett Thanks very much - I'm not going to go looking for your shot...
@nanderson Thanks very much - I made it out alive! @lesip You get a postcard? They phone me every 3 months and nag me into submission! @joemuli Don't mock my screaming - I can break glass ;)
Lovely negative space, pop of red, linear composition. Sorry the dentist made you scream like a little girl... I hope you made it count and shattered some eardrums. :)
@kwind Thanks very much - they're a weird thing these fears we have. I know that if a mantis is on me I'll make it inside alive and yet I'm not bothered by snakes...yet @rosiekerr I may have grabbed his testicles at one point. I'm not entirely sure when but I do know we both screamed. @dibzgreasley Thanks very much - he's actually very good, I never felt a thing until I opened my wallet but I still don't like it.
I would love to regale you with all the thoughts going through my head regarding
1 - your wonderfully witty repartee
2 - your fear of the mantis and
3 - your description of the dentist
but frankly I am really really tired so will suffice to say
I love the mantis and hate detest loathe
abhor and .......whatever other appropriate synonyms apply. ..... the dentist
@whimsicalgrateful Thank you so much, very much appreciated @dide I detest them both with equal measure, so much so that I even struggled to type them! @pinkpaintpot Most definitely @annied How can you possibly love the mantis? Despicable creatures.
Genius Graeme, blood red chairs you cowering in the corner , you nailed it. Have you ever dreamed of a large Mantis looming over your strapped down body on the dentist's chair, with a big old Black and Decker drill headed for your pearly whites ? Hope you never have that dream.
Superb shot. The red chairs look awesome.
I can't believe that you are uneasy with an insect that eats the head off its partner after sex. Oh and a hat with tassels? Please tell me you were wearing some chaps as well to complete the picture (assless of course :)
But a great story as usual.
I'm with you on dentist - not my favourite people (sorry to anyone who is a Dentist) had some horrible experiences - and everytime I go I am catapulted back to feeling like a child who is being chastised - brilliant shot
@jack4john I haven't had that dream but I'm sure to now. I look forward to it. @annied That's exactly what I do as well... @karlow75 I'm always in assless chaps, comfort first I always say -and thanks very much @lorrainelouise I think that's what gets me as well - I still have memories of the brutal old school dental nurse when I was about 5..and thank you very much
You know, if you just brush your teeth and maintain good oral hygiene, you wouldn't have to have drills in your mouth. It'd save you a lot of trouble.
Fabulous image, as usual. Tassels on your hat, eh? I'm struggling to image that.
@annied Yeah...Nah @andy3168 Thanks very much, appreciated @ludgate I'll have you know that I brush 3 times a day, floss, use interdental brushes and other assorted balms, lotions and "stuff"...my mouth is far cleaner than my mind.
Super with the color. The story is the best. Praying Mantis' are cute, come on! Yeah, maybe stop eating so much sugar to keep the drill and the bad conversation at bay;-). Sorry you hate the dentist and he is so mean to you!
@yaorenliu Thank you so much - I'd love to write a book actually but never seem to get the time to sit down... @annied it will. If I get a new job then all well be well!
I can't say I have ever felt this about my dentist, but then again, he is my uncle. He is extremely smart and very talented with power tools. On the same note, having an uncle for a dentist, I was gifted with extremely hard teeth - not a cavity on record. He did take out my wisdom teeth, which I have been informed by my peers is very uncommon to be conscious for.... No harm, no foul - only on rare occasions do I still hear the sound of bone cracking and splitting.
@eyeamlisa I've had two of my wisdom teeth out and for one of them I was wide awake with a knee on my chest. To be fair, the dentist I have now is very good...I feel nothing but I still have memories
oh and you have tassles on your hat? I wanna see
A most excellent image, however--love it!
@pinkpaintpot I do have a tassel...it will never be photographed ;)
@northy You're most welcome :)
@aikiuser Thank you kindly, and yes, we are. All of us.
@voiceprintz As do I - and thank you :)
@divast8er I would have burned that house to the ground...
@pamknowler Pleased to be of assistance, even if I did ruin my image ;)
@pistache Thank you - wasps are no problem. When they're dead.
@shepherdmanswife There goes my image, but thank you anyway ;)
@sidecar Thank you very much, much appreciated :)
@kali66 Painless? If dentistry is painless I have hair free legs!
@rennes Me too!!! And thanks very much :)
@julzmaioro Thank you and no, I don't want to harden up. I want cuddles and tissues.
@tonygig Thank you kindly :)
@lifepause The rate I move with praying mantis' we'll need sports mode...
@cocobella Thank you so much :)
@monty147 Thank you so much - nice to know I'm not the only one!
@happypat Thank you so much, appreciated as always :)
@hippiechick13 I tried crying once and nearly drowned...
@bill_fe Thanks and yes, unabashedly
@888rachel Thank you so much :)
@gigiflower My dentist is old, bald and miserable which actually suits me fine :)
@panthora My trouble is that at a very young age I was traumatised by the school dental dental nurse and her foot pedal powered drill...
@tabarlett Thanks very much - I'm not going to go looking for your shot...
@lesip You get a postcard? They phone me every 3 months and nag me into submission!
@joemuli Don't mock my screaming - I can break glass ;)
@rosiekerr I may have grabbed his testicles at one point. I'm not entirely sure when but I do know we both screamed.
@dibzgreasley Thanks very much - he's actually very good, I never felt a thing until I opened my wallet but I still don't like it.
1 - your wonderfully witty repartee
2 - your fear of the mantis and
3 - your description of the dentist
but frankly I am really really tired so will suffice to say
I love the mantis and hate detest loathe
abhor and .......whatever other appropriate synonyms apply. ..... the dentist
@dide I detest them both with equal measure, so much so that I even struggled to type them!
@pinkpaintpot Most definitely
@annied How can you possibly love the mantis? Despicable creatures.
oooh sorry Graeme @graemestevens I mean how terrible
I can't believe that you are uneasy with an insect that eats the head off its partner after sex. Oh and a hat with tassels? Please tell me you were wearing some chaps as well to complete the picture (assless of course :)
But a great story as usual.
@annied That's exactly what I do as well...
@karlow75 I'm always in assless chaps, comfort first I always say -and thanks very much
@lorrainelouise I think that's what gets me as well - I still have memories of the brutal old school dental nurse when I was about 5..and thank you very much
Fabulous image, as usual. Tassels on your hat, eh? I'm struggling to image that.
@andy3168 Thanks very much, appreciated
@ludgate I'll have you know that I brush 3 times a day, floss, use interdental brushes and other assorted balms, lotions and "stuff"...my mouth is far cleaner than my mind.
@annied it will. If I get a new job then all well be well!