Clickety Clacketty  by graemestevens

Clickety Clacketty

On Saturday I was partaking of some "DIY Wizardry" when my hammer drill slipped from my not so vice like grip, rotated speedily at maximum torque and inflicted a rather stunningly impressive wound in the form of bruising, swelling and general throbbiness upon my left hand. This resulted in a trip to the Accident department at the hospital today for an x-ray and some poking and prodding by doctor type people only to be told that it was just a sprain, nothing broken, move along sir, thank god you're right handed.
The low point of the entire experience was not the wait to be seen, the smell of the waiting room or the general stench of the unwell, but rather the elderly lady seated behind me, complete with a very ill fitting and obvious wig. When she wasn't pontificating on the woes of the modern world and how things were different in her day, she was sitting there in stoney silence with the exception of the incessant Clickety Clacking of her poorly fitted dentures.
I nearly took to her with bedpan.
Ha great story and sorry to hear about the injury. But remember chicks dig scars...
April 6th, 2015  
@longexposure Thanks but sadly no scar, just a grossly swollen left hand that looks freakishly bizarre!
April 6th, 2015  
I think the story overpowered the photo! I was in the supermarket and this 'old' guy came up slightly puffing.. As he puffed, he shot out his lower dentures way out over his chin! I couldn't believe it but he carried on right through the checkout and through the door like this!
April 6th, 2015  
Sam
@maggiemae Oh that is TOO funny!!!

@graemestevens Do we get to see a photo of your hand?
April 6th, 2015  
But you see we know this all to be a lie..... You were once a nurse. You brim to overflowing with compassion and understanding for all humanity.
April 6th, 2015  
That was rather unfortunate......I am hoping you will survive this incident, even though it might put an end to your DIY career! A photo of your swollen left hand would be most appropriate and highly anticipated!
April 6th, 2015  
good story. perhaps stick to knitting ?
April 6th, 2015  
lol so funny!! diy not for you then!!
April 6th, 2015  
@maggiemae This is the most funny site of the day! Thanks god that Graeme's left hand is out of action. Poor old lady.
April 6th, 2015  
@maggiemae Limited time this weekend to come up with a decent shot, but it is what it is. I still remember one of my teachers at school sneezing and their dentures came flying out!
@gigiflower Maybe...I have to keep it raised, so it's just as well that Mrs. S is not a teacher or I'd spend the entire night answering questions...
@newbank I brim to overflowing with several things but never compassion or understanding...
@panthora It looks like someone inflated a rubber glove...
@brigette Or crotchet. Mind you, I'm partial to a spot of 70's macrame.
@pinkpaintpot Usually I don't mind a bit of DIY, but the drill was rabid and full of malevolent evil...
@yaorenliu Ah, but I'm right handed, so all is well with the world ;)
April 6th, 2015  
@graemestevens @maggiemae @gigiflower @yaorenliu
LOL - hahahahahahahahahaha
my day is made!
April 6th, 2015  
Life is a series of stories & adventures........it's the people you meet in everyday life that make it so fascinating. You tell the story well....I laughed! We can see all your details in full view there so no lying about your age! Hope your injuries heal fast!
April 6th, 2015  
@maggiemae I think your story may have even overpowered poor Graeme's story.
@graemestevens I was a trifle nervous about reading your story after looking at your photo. ( I hope your hand recovers rapidly.
April 6th, 2015  
Can't wait for the viewing....and a pic of your left hand too!
April 6th, 2015  
Yes, just a flesh wound my boy......Glad you enjoyed your time in the waiting room, they are such fun places in Emergency Departments :))
April 6th, 2015  
Oh dear, I guess that put a stop to your labours? Hope you are OK.
April 6th, 2015  
She made you forget all about your hand, though, didn't she?! Luckily you didn't drill a big ol' hole in your hand! Would've made a great photo, though! Cool shot! ;)
April 6th, 2015  
With your wrist band in the image, I thought maybe it was a photo of the doctor's tools. Such a fun story. Did you record the clickety clackity for a youtube memory? I could go viral my good man.
April 6th, 2015  
Well, the project isn't finished until someone has a War Story to tell, and an injury to show for it.
April 6th, 2015  
Hope it wasn't your camera hand.
April 6th, 2015  
Oh sorry to hear. Sounds like a good excuse to sit down with a large drink and let someone else finish the job.
April 6th, 2015  
@andy3168 The injury happened two days before the visit to the hospital...had to get the job done!
@jocasta No, the left hand so all is well!
@melston It must be done then...time for a drink ;)
@bill_fe It was the most irritating thing I think I've ever heard...even worse than a phone call from the mother in law...
@juliedduncan That would make an awesome shot...if our health care was free I might consider it...
@dibzgreasley Absolutely not, I carried on until the job was done (bloody martyr that I am) and then went to the doctor!
@hermann Tis but a scratch! And yes, it was the highlight of my weekend...
@lifepause I might to have to injure myself again as the swelling is going down rapidly, which is just as well as I have to keep my hand raised apparently. If I lived with a teacher I'd spend all night answering questions...
April 6th, 2015  
Just ignore me then
phttt
like thus btw
April 6th, 2015  
Sounds bad, hope your doctors and nurses didn't use these....
April 6th, 2015  
Ouch, painful, hope you keep the right hand well until the left is healed!
April 6th, 2015  
@annied Oops, I was saving you for last because I like to do that...so sorry :(
@cocobella It hurt like hell but seems to be slowly improving
@overalvandaan It hurt a lot, I may have used a few choice words...
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens well yes I am important and should be treated as such - you are thusly forgiven
btw hope the hand is ok :)
April 7th, 2015  
@annied Thank goodness for that. Regarding the hand, I'm just pleased it was my left and not t'other...I've never been a "self starter" ;)
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens oh I doubt that Mr S :)
I am ambidextrous so certain tasks would become difficult depending on the hand in question
April 7th, 2015  
@annied And what exactly are you trying to say?
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens hahahahahahahaha maybe something - maybe nothing
April 7th, 2015  
@annied For the sake of my delicate mental well being I'm going with "nothing"
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens mental - well being - mental
April 7th, 2015  
@annied I know, I know...I was thinking along those lines as I typed it
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens the urge to go completely mental is quite overwhelming atm - maybe in a public place hahahahaha
April 7th, 2015  
@annied Is it ever - I'm patiently waiting to find out which job I might get offered, except I'm not being very patient about it
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens i hate the way keeping people hanging is the norm nowadays - just say it and get it over and done with - some don't even bother getting back to you
April 7th, 2015  
@annied Over here if you make it as far as the interview stage they're legally obliged to advise either way...but no one polices it and no one cares anyway. Maybe I should start a new, self appointed role as the "interview police"
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens oh yes - you would be excellent - your mask and some weaponry - awesome!
April 7th, 2015  
@annied All the grateful applicants could be responsible for paying me
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens yes - they would be very grateful I imagine
April 7th, 2015  
@annied They'd better be
April 7th, 2015  
@graemestevens hahahahahahaha indeed - if not more fool them lol
April 7th, 2015  
Indeed. I have all those left over paint brushes and no one to insert them into so it would be the perfect opprtunity
April 7th, 2015  
How dare she spoil your waiting room experience....Some people aaaagh...
April 7th, 2015  
I thought you were doing self-help dentistry!
April 7th, 2015  
@yrhenwr If you'd like an appointment it can be arranged ;)
@jack4john I know! Quite rude.
April 7th, 2015  
Ah yes, DIY self mutilation is something I am very familiar with. Although my longest wait in emergency was from a key cutter at work. I found you shouldn't put you finger between the key and the blade. I spent 5 hours waiting to have my finger re attached.
Oh and I would have gone ahead with the bedpan attack. Sounds like she had it coming :)
April 7th, 2015  
@karlow75 I love a good war story - I once hopped in there with a rusty piece of steel stick out of my foot...oops.
April 7th, 2015  
Your stories are so fabulous! I'm surprised we didn't get a picture of the hand though...
April 8th, 2015  
@ludgate That's just not going to happen ;)
April 9th, 2015  
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