Hiding Scrotum, Crouching Penis by graemestevens

Hiding Scrotum, Crouching Penis

Today I suffered the indignity of a pre-employement medical...I have been poked, prodded, probed and left with fingerprints where no-one should have finger prints. I was almost positive that when I turned around the nurse would be removing a tree trunk from one of my orifices, however I have retained the ability to walk in a straight line, at least for today.
Now all I have to do is wait for the job offer (ever the optimist, despite appearances).
Haha... love your story! I hope you get the job!
April 20th, 2015  
Ya went there, didn't you.
April 20th, 2015  
Well, looky there!
April 20th, 2015  
craziness! hope the job offer comes thru pdq!
April 20th, 2015  
You're a brute, Graeme, a BRUTE! ;)
April 20th, 2015  
Oh my! 😀
April 20th, 2015  
Too much information??
April 20th, 2015  
Oh my goodness was all she said !!
April 20th, 2015  
Hahahaha! This is awesome! Sorry you had to go through what you did, though.
April 20th, 2015  
Fingers crossed for you. (Looking good, BTW!)
April 20th, 2015  
@kwind Thanks very much and so do I!
@melston Yep...sorry about that...
@divast8er What??? I thought everything was hidden!
@northy So do I - I really need to get dressed!
@juliedduncan LOL, I'm not entirely sure how to take that...and I've taken a few things today ;)
@kjbadger Actually, I think you'll find it's mine ;)
@golftragic Is there such a thing these days?
@hermann I think you spluttered a bit too...
@kareenking Thanks very much - I'm sure I'll recover ;)
@jetr Thanks very much...and blush ;)
April 20th, 2015  
Ah...is nothing sacred? A tree trunk?? Aw...that's hard to believe! A sapling, perhaps! *fingers crossed that offer comes through quickly* btw, ya don't look too bad for 44! ;)
April 20th, 2015  
presuming you passed your medical... who knows if that dinosaur made it out of there?
April 20th, 2015  
@kali66 I'm actually quite insulted. They called me "normal".
@voiceprintz I'm hoping the offer comes through quickly as well...I can't stand around like this all day! And thanks very much.
April 20th, 2015  
I can see you remembered to pull the tummy in - I have to remind myself to do that when being photographed! Not that I would possible imagine that I would hide under a hazard sign!
April 20th, 2015  
@maggiemae You leave my "one pack" alone ;)
April 20th, 2015  
oh (f)uck! I couldn't even pretend
will get back to you on this!
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens think your one pack has become a two pack - you been workin' out :)
as soon as you appeared I collapsed
April 20th, 2015  
mmmm, the recruiting officers have a fun job then.. 😉 .....and I am sure I feel challenged to photo-shop out that sign....
April 20th, 2015  
@ltodd Good luck with that, I dread to think what's behind it...
@annied The only working out that I've been doing is lifting a wine glass...if you fell over, can you imagine what this shot will do to @gigiflower and her ears?
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens oh this time I will control myself and say duck - @gigiflower Sam's sensibilities will be highly offended and her ears - well - after she magnifies and checks everything out hahahahahahaha
and lifting a wine glass is of course working out
April 20th, 2015  
Ha - great image!
April 20th, 2015  
@annied If she comes anywhere near this with a magnifying glass....I may have to blush myself...
@dide Thank you kindly, that's one way of putting it ;)
April 20th, 2015  
A real man! One who doesn't wax....
April 20th, 2015  
How could they not offer you the job. you are the best qualified specialist strong man I have seen, mind you my experience is rather limited...
April 20th, 2015  
Sue
Oh well done on this photo! ummm What is the sign hanging on? And fingers crossed for you on the job, especially after going through all that!
April 20th, 2015  
Sam
@graemestevens @annied Firstly. OMG. Secondly. I'm not coping. Thirdly. Totally disgusting. Fourth. I think you have put on weight since I last saw you naked. Fifth. I just showed my husband. Sixth. He wants to know why you shave down. Seventh. I'm still not coping. Eighth. I can understand why you have no FAVs. Ninth. You are one brave motherducker. Tenth. I've always wanted to know what HAZCHEM means and now I know - "hiding penis" in Chinese.
April 20th, 2015  
@gigiflower well now I am in hysterics - am going to plaster HAZCHEM all over the Urban Dictionary sites
@graemestevens she is so rude Graeme - put on weight indeed - phhttttt
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens @gigiflower oh btw he does have a fav LOL
April 20th, 2015  
@deliad Good lord no...it terrifies me!
@jack4john Best not to ask how I'm holding that sign up...
@sioux Thanks very much - best not to ask ;)
@gigiflower I'm going to pick one of those to deal with: I didn't shave. I can't cope with the rest of your rambling ;)
@annied My weight is the same as always, it's just moved about it a bit.
April 20th, 2015  
Sam
@annied @graemestevens hehehehe glad I could make you giggle! As for the weight - did you miss that I commented that he has put on weight the LAST TIME I SAW HIM NAKED.............you were supposed to ask "When was that"???????? Oh my, my humour is broken. And was that YOU that gave him a FAV?
April 20th, 2015  
Sam
@graemestevens You may not be able to cope with my rambling.......you should be lucky I bothered to give you the time of MY day when you appear naked on my 27 INCH screen. You want to talk inches now? :)
April 20th, 2015  
@gigiflower I know you have seen him naked - it is all over 365 - me? FAV? i don't think so
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens @gigiflower told you she'd get out the big guns hahahahaha 27 inch screen indeed
April 20th, 2015  
Sam
@annied @graemestevens After yesterday's "rush of blood to undisclosed areas" now the "hidden penis" photo.........I had to bring out the big guns Ms Annie. Did you not read - I AM NOT COPING!
April 20th, 2015  
@gigiflower Miss Sam - the big guns I think are not helping in this particular situation - your poor ears
April 20th, 2015  
Sam
@annied I'm having to YELL...........this is not good for my blood pressure you know. And know Mr Stevens has just ducked off...........RUDE!
April 20th, 2015  
@gigiflower he always ducks off - very rude - he doesn't cope when you get tough I think - my blood pressure is perfect so I CAN YELL ALL I WANT!
April 20th, 2015  
Sam
@annied I've just eaten some nuts. Not @graemestevens nuts tho.
April 20th, 2015  
@gigiflower oh lord - are you trying to raise my blood pressure?
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens I meant it only in the nicest way, Graeme! Ha ha ha! ;)
April 20th, 2015  
Sam
@annied Well I am quite bored you know :)
April 20th, 2015  
Oh Lord Jesus... now I have to go through the whole day with this in my head...lol
April 20th, 2015  
@gigiflower hahahaha yes I thought that may be the case LOL
April 20th, 2015  
@photohoot and you can't unsee it - I've tried hahahahaha
April 20th, 2015  
@annied lol so brave... it's almost like a gift that keeps on giving!
April 20th, 2015  
Aahhh uummmm aahhhh... Your wife is a lucky lady, I think... lol well done for putting it all out there
April 20th, 2015  
Lol.
April 20th, 2015  
Holy moley! Good luck with the job - surely you'll get it now that you've bent over backwards?!
April 20th, 2015  
My God, that must be one important job to have been put through all that! Are you interviewing for a position in Parliament or something?
April 20th, 2015  
you never cease to catch me off guard....!
April 20th, 2015  
Oh you poor poor thing, I´m sure you´ll find a way to channel this into your work :) Good luck! Ps. Very brave :)
April 20th, 2015  
haha hope you get the job for all the trouble you had to go through ;)
April 20th, 2015  
@nicoleterheide So do I!
@susale Thanks very much - not brave, just insane ;)
@blueberry1222 It is my mission in life ;)
@eyeamlisa Good lord no, I'd never lower myself ;)
@888rachel It was more bending over forwards to be honest ;)
@whimsicalgrateful :)
@longexposure Putting nearly all of it out there...and thanks very much
@photohoot I wouldn't call it a gift...more of a curse... ;)
@gigiflower @annied I did duck off and for that I do apologise most sincerely - it's difficult to deal with a homesick 14 year old student and this at the same time...teenagers seem to be adept at demanding attention...anyhoo...a 27 inch screen you say? I may have to come up with a similar shot to try and fill that screen for you...
@juliedduncan In that case, all is forgiven ;)
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens good luck with that
:))))
April 20th, 2015  
@annied I might have to invest in Photoshop...
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens for a bit of distortion manipulation and magic?
April 20th, 2015  
@annied It's the only way I can fill 27 inches!
April 20th, 2015  
Well well well. I zoomed in. No shame.

@graemestevens @annied @gigiflower You three have the most fabulous conversations. Thank you for the giggles.
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens yeh a two pack just won't cut it hahaha
@ludgate have to keep the mind active and @gigiflower needs to relieve her boredom some how
glad you have no shame makes life more interesting hahaha
April 20th, 2015  
All the good comments are taken. ;) Good luck with the job... you have certainly put everything out there on the line for it. (something occurred to me, once I started typing).
April 20th, 2015  
@ludgate Maybe I should have called this shot "Nothing to See Here"...and I think it's fair to say that I have no shame either. I'm sure @annied and @gigiflower would agree,
April 20th, 2015  
@rosiekerr It didn't taken "them" long to use up all those comments either...and thank you very much :)
April 20th, 2015  
Goodness me then indignities one has to get a job these days.......I feel for you! You must be rising to the top in that list of hopefuls!
April 20th, 2015  
@happypat I certainly hope so, but I don't want to jinx it so I'm trying not to think about it!
April 20th, 2015  
Ps. I had to slightly rephrase that last remark!!
April 20th, 2015  
@happypat So did I - I nearly said something about feeling for me ;)
April 20th, 2015  
I would like to return your recent kind gesture so I'm not giving your shot a Fav either. (I might have done for its merit but I do have my reputation to think of... or at least, the tattered remains of it!)
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens @annied @gigiflower Now... what's this about 27 inches? ;)
April 20th, 2015  
@ludgate @annied @gigiflower ...a vivid imagination ;)
@vignouse I completely understand and promise faithfully not to hold a grudge...
April 20th, 2015  
@graemestevens hahaha do not be putting words in my mouth Mr S - or wirds as the ohone wanted to say
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens yes I gave a ohone
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens duck have
April 21st, 2015  
@ludgate @graemestevens 27 inches is the size of sonething @gigiflower has
April 21st, 2015  
@sioux I missed that until you pointed it out!
April 21st, 2015  
I'm with you on the wine Mr. S
April 21st, 2015  
@annied @annied @gigiflower What can I put in your mouth if not words?
@bill_fe Wine is the only form of exercise that I will recognise.
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens not disappointed
@bill_fe we shall start a 24 hour wine gym
April 21st, 2015  
@annied @graemestevens @gigiflower
Great idea for a gym!
April 21st, 2015  
@annied Didn't think you would be ;)
@bill_fe @annied I'm in!
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens *snigger*
April 21st, 2015  
Hilarious
April 21st, 2015  
@neatz Pleased to have amused you ;)
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!
April 21st, 2015  
@gigiflower I did it just for you. I'm not sure why.
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens @gigiflower
can your bits do all those Matrix like leaning and floating and bendy stuff - and leap from bamboo to bamboo - that would be awesome!
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
@graemestevens It's TRUE love :)
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
@annied @graemestevens Please settle down Ms Annie.
April 21st, 2015  
@annied Of course...I can even make an Eiffel Tower...
@gigiflower I can think of no other explanation
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
@graemestevens @annied Where are your testicles when you are making the Eiffel Tower? Details please
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens @gigiflower I am going crazy - I write stuff and it disappears and now true love and details - I am going to get a bigger glass
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
@annied @graemestevens A bigger glass to fit the testicles in!
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens @gigiflower no - it is a long tall glass
April 21st, 2015  
@annied @gigiflower I put them to either side of the base of the tower and call them landscaped gardens...
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens @gigiflower you had to go there didn't you?
April 21st, 2015  
@annied @gigiflower Well...I did take this shot, so yes...I guess so ;)
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
@annied @graemestevens Have you showed your exchange student how you make the Eiffel Tower? I do hope not but am now expecting a detailed close up. The real Eiffel Tower has nothing on yours, I'm sure!
April 21st, 2015  
@gigiflower @annied Ummm...she's 15. That's more wrong than even I am prepared to go to
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens right answer
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
@graemestevens @annied Phew, otherwise this conversation was going to be terminated quickly.
April 21st, 2015  
@gigiflower @annied I'm terminating it anyway...I'm off for the night ladies, have a wonderful evening without me. I'm sure it can't get any better than that.
April 21st, 2015  
@graemestevens oh it can't - not for Sam anyway - what will she do?
@gigiflower
April 21st, 2015  
Sam
@annied @graemestevens Already bored. Time to eat some nuts!
April 21st, 2015  
@gigiflower yeh I might get some too
April 21st, 2015  
I hope that as you turned your head you coughed as well, and the man with the rubber glove was gentle. And congrats on making it to the medical.
April 21st, 2015  
Hahaha!I can relate my doctor annoyed me into getting the over 50 test.You know..the one you need to prep for.Heinous!
April 21st, 2015  
@karlow75 Thanks very much...it was a lady!!! Outrageous. ;)
@mzzhope My doctor made me get the over 40 and caucasian test as well...sigh...apparently I'm "normal" which I'm mildly insulted by.
April 21st, 2015  
They ask a lot, now what if you don't get the job?!
April 21st, 2015  
Love it, really hoping you get the job
April 21st, 2015  
@overalvandaan I'll give them back the gloves they left behind ;)
@rachelwithey Thanks, as am i :)
April 22nd, 2015  
Fun!! When do you hear? Did you go in for your tests like this?!
April 22nd, 2015  
@amandal I'm currently waiting (im)patiently to hear...and yes, this is my standard attire
April 22nd, 2015  
How is it possible that we're wearing the same thing? I am faving this because I am secure in my manhood and appreciate your sense of style.
April 22nd, 2015  
@kevin365 There's nothing like some serious Health & Safety awareness when one steps out for the evening.
April 22nd, 2015  
Obviously they could not possibly have turned you down!
April 22nd, 2015  
@yrhenwr Dressed like this? No one did...
April 22nd, 2015  
OK, you can breathe out now and let it all sag!
April 22nd, 2015  
@shepherdmanswife I did that about 5 seconds after the shot was taken!!! You should see the out takes...actually, you shouldn't
April 22nd, 2015  
Weiner- wiener, I mean a WINNER, hA!!:)
April 23rd, 2015  
@joemuli LOL, I'm pretty sure I managed to hide everything ;)
April 23rd, 2015  
I see a face in your torso.....OK, I had to focus somewhere....the totality of that image was a little overwhelming!! Brave soul, indeed! Congrats on the job.....I hope they know what they are in for! ;-))
April 24th, 2015  
@panthora Thank you very much - best to look anywhere but there ;)
April 24th, 2015  
My God, I hope you got the job after all that!
April 24th, 2015  
@pixiemac I did! I did!
April 24th, 2015  
Lol don't know what else to say lol
April 26th, 2015  
haha. Hope you get the job!
April 26th, 2015  
@shawnasays Neither did I!
@brigette I did, I did!!!
April 26th, 2015  
hey well done!! thats great and exciting news. Hope it all goes really well and no more nasty bosses!
April 26th, 2015  
@brigette To say I'm looking forward to it would be an understatement - I don't think I've stopped bouncing since they offered last week!
April 26th, 2015  
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